An Ode to Fishball

Ah, fishball. You are probably curious as to what the phenomenon of fishball is. Well, fist let me show you what a fishball is NOT:

The Story of FISH!

FISH! was bought in Breezewood, in a country resteraunt on the way to Pittsburgh. We saw him sitting there amongst all the other Beanie Babies, and I (Kee) had to have him. My boyfriend at the time was gracious enough to buy him for me, and so the legacy of FISH! began. This was before Beanie Babies were a fad, before you had to pay exhorbinant amounts of money for them, before they were a collectors item. (So if you came here looking for beanie baby info cause you're a collecter, what I divulge next will make you cry.) FISH! was one of my favorite stuffed animals in the world. FISH! went everywhere we went on the dashboard of the car, on the bus, everywhere. Soon I began taking stuffed animals to school and sitting one on my desk everyday. It kept me amused and I tended to fall asleep less, so this practice was tolerated. Every animal I had was named something unique; Bulemia the cat, Anorexia, (I went through a disease phase) Geddy Lee the tiger, etc. I didn't like the name he was given, ("Goldy") and I couldn't think of a new name for him. Somehow it just got called FISH!. I must explain here that when you say FISH!, you say it in a tight falsetto, bringing the sound from the back of your throat, sort of like the jackalope talks. It is said in all caps and with an exclaimation point. When using his name in sentaces, one would revert from normal tone of voice to FISH!. This was especially amusing when my friend of 6"7' (and a half with his shoes on) would tower over me and say his name. On one particular day, he took FISH! from me, proclaimed that because it was Friday, and he was Christian, all he could eat was FISH!. He then procceeded to shove him head first into his mouth. It is odd seeing one of your friends grinning like the Cheshire Cat with a FISH! tail hanging from out of his mouth. When he pulled it out, I could see the saliva-lines clinging to my poor FISH!. After that, things only got worse.

The Origins of Fishball:

Most of us didn't go to Junior Prom. We went to the Post Prom Party though. Free food, a kareoke machine (where we first heard Wellman's vocal stylings) and use of the pool. We hung out mostly in the cafeteria, where the boys played round after round of Magic: the Gathering (a game that I understand the concept of, initially, but wonder how anyone could be occupied by cards that long). Wouldn't you know it, but FISH! was in my bookbag. Soon we were winging him back and forth along the hallway between the cafeteria and the gym locker rooms. We formed teams and raced up and down that hallway for hours. It was a cross between football and smear-the-queer. (Lewd name, I know, but I don't know another name for it.) Soon it was time for us to accept whatever lame prizes they had and to go home. But we all took a little bit of fishball home with us. After the initial game, fishball was played impromtu in the school hallway, at parks, in Columbus, Ohio. In Columbus, however, FISH! officially belonged to the Yakman himself. When leaving, Kee handed FISH! to Leak (who was going along for the trip out) and told him to leave it there when he left. Later on, when expressing gratitude for FISH!, the Yakman mentioned that he had considered stealing FISH! anyway. It was the best reminder of the Tribe that he could have been given.

Broken Foot, and a New Fishball:

Time passed. A year after the original FISH! was purchased, another trip was made to Pittsburgh. We stopped at the same restaraunt. They had new FISH!es. The original FISH! by now was tattered and dirty, not to mention dissapeared. Wewould have never even considered a replacement otherwise. Then there was TigerFISH!. We had to have them both.. Again, the purchase was made, and the legacy of fishball continued. While TigerFISH! isn't as well-travelled as (the original) FISH!, and was never quite so abused, TigerFISH! also has stories under his fins. For one, he is called both TigerFISH! and BumbleFISH! depending on who you ask. Either way, a fishball is a fishball. After several years, moves away and back again by various Tribe members, TigerFISH! came back into the fore again, residing with Kee at Matt and Gina's apartment in Dallastown. After a hearty bout of tossing the fishball around their livingroom, Gina ended up tripping over her son, David, and stepping *just* the wrong way on the vacuum cleaner. After the hospital was taken care of, she wanted nothing more to do with fishball. But the spirit of the Yak is still in her, and even she cannot deny the fact that even after that particular incident she still thinks fishball is cute (in his own FISH!y kind of way). (I also think that she secretly plots revenge. Fortunately for all of us, TigerFISH! is made of sturdy stuff like rayon and other synthesized fibers, stuffing, and plastic beans. Watch out for the eyes though; when you get beaned in the head with those it HURTS!)

CRAB! and the FISH! Tricks:

As well as there being a TigerFISH!, there is CRAB! who, while not a FISH!, is just as whippable. Especially if you grab him by his legs, roll him back, and toss him like he was a ninja star. Playing with CRAB! is like playing with two fishballs; it's twice as likely you're going to get hit with both at once. While CRAB! is not quite as popular as FISH! or TigerFISH!, he is still a favorite. As for FISH! tricks...if you take the face of the FISH! and shove it back into his body, it looks like it's dissappeared. If you shake it out again, it reappears. It's like magic. The original FISH! also had the nickname of Knob. Everytime someone would toss FISH! around, Bert would accuse them of "bobbing his Knob".

Yes, they are badly abused stuffed animals. But isn't that what you're supposed to do with them? Play with them? Certainly fishball is the official sport of the Yak Tribe. How could it not be? You don't have to be children to play with toys, and FISH!, TigerFISH! and CRAB! are most definitely sources of good memories for all Yaks who play with them.

The continuation of FISH!:

The Legend of FISH! is something that seems untouchable; one has to experience a game of fishball before one understands what fishball actually is. To do this, however, we needed a FISH! Fishball can be played with TigerFISH! or CRAB! but it isn't the same unless played with an authentic FISH!. Well, thank the gods for the internet. Out of curiosity, Mooch searched the web for FISH!, and thanks to someone on e-bay, he aquired two FISH! at a very good rate. These two FISH! were given to two members of the Tribe for their birthday; one to Greg, the Yak Shaman, as a portable reminder of the Tribe while he is getting brainwashed in Cuba (or getting schooled while in California, depending on your opinions on the Conspiracy), and one to the Yakman himself, to replace the one that got lost. Already the sight of a flying FISH! has been seen, and hopefully more sightings will occur, continuing the legend, the legacy of FISH!.