She had written a poem for me
And it was called, "Tender Hearts."
I turned a lying voice on it,
And said I didn't care.

She read this poem aloud.
Her voice was soft and lilting,
But I closed my window
And put on the t.v.

Then she climbed the tree outside
My bedroom window, and I saw
Her, sketching my likeness,
With eagerness hidden in her features.

I scowled and closed the blinds
To hide my face from hers,
And climbed into my bedclothes
And crawled into bed.

But in my dreams, I only saw her
And I only heard her voice in my ear
And it was only her face that I saw
Hovering, smiling, inches from mine.

I awoke, breathing uneasy
And climbed down the stairs,
My nightgown draging behind me.
To open the door.

She walked in, gingerly.
She had been waiting, somehow she
Knew. She smiled and took my hand.
I pointed to the paper she was holding.

And when she held it up
I saw it was the poem with
My picture beside it, and she
Had made me look so lovely.

I took her up to my room and
Opened a secret chest. In it
Were the poems I had written her.
She only placed hers atop the pile.

rending, stretching, tearing
the flesh across the bone
aching for moment of tension to break
when all floods out and down
over hands reaching and tongues
when the tears stain the cold marble
and the heart beat stops.

Taking it into consideration
I used the conversation
To give me inspiration
For hopes of copulation

So to you in full appreciation
I shall take my heave, not salutation
Sending my heart filled with elation
At the hopes of our private congregation
Expressed to you in my rymiest creation.

At the center of it all
I stand
Lacking wht it takes to see the outside.

All around there exists
A barrier
It's a barrier that blocks
My emotions from leaving me
But it lets other in.

If I were to shatter
The barrier
Would I be able to express
Or would my world come crashing.

Tumbling in this void
I feel
A hand on my shoulder
I look up towards the face above me,
But I can not see through the barrier.

I can feel the rain
Pitter-patter
Through my barrier and
I can feel the wind across my skin.

I can lie awake on
The grass
At night while the stars glint
High up in the heavens,
But I can not break through the barrier.

BOOM! CRASH!
the surf thunders in...
the sand sinks between my toes
only to melt again in the next wave.
As I look into the brilliant blazing
sun, I can see the heat
traveling to warm me.
The beach is long and farther up
the surf gets soft
and slow and quiet.
I'll lie back in the shade of a rock
and dream in the heat
sleep in the sun
I'll listen to the waves rock me to dreams
of the wet water
and the dry sand
and their union between my toes on a
hot summer day.

Stillness and wetness
run down my cheek
The snake in his pit descends.
To the level of madness
Where all of his fellow snakes
hiss and drip with venom.

Black vomit, retch it up
Empty myself
Take all of my intestins and
I'll strangle you with them
I can ball up my small fists
And put them though air.
Building up inside of me and
Coming out of my stomach.
It's ready to bleed it's acid blood
And put its life inside of you.
it's the Black vomit.
And it has left me and is
Coming for you.

Taking the time by the time,
Interfering with the natural process.
It's the time in the time,
That comes to the binding.

The time is right
The humming grows louder
For days I have heard their footsteps echo around me
The time has come
I grow restless.
The dragons croon calls me out;
It makes me want to impress
With a loud crack the shell bursts
And a tiny golden head protrudes from the fragments
And during a moment of udisturbed love
The two are joined forever.

Bright orb eating the night,
Like my eyes towards my soul.
Hands that I desperately try to blight,
My bones aching to roll.

Shrieking in your silence,
Where'd you go? Where'd you go?
Where's your loving presence?
Why'd you tell me no?

No, no, but then a yes.
Yes to my innter questions.
you pull me out of this mess,
head me towards your direction.

Briefly, then my hands shrivel
My eyes eat themselves away
When I look at the bright orbs, evil.
The skin from my bones I begin to flay.

Nothing you can do, but hate
Not that you tried that hard
Not after your heart, I ate,
And killed my inner ward.

Coffee shop at 3 am
Where I stare into your limped eyes.
Your black hair, in soft waves
Falling off your shoulders
And I watch you talk
The smoke curling out of your mouth.
With each word pushing
The smoky breath out of you,
Your lips arching ever so faintly

When you pause, into that subconscience,
Self-rightous sneer.
When I smile and say that I love you,
You say, I know baby.
With the smoke curling,
And my eyes still sinking
Into those damnbed limped pools.
Later that morning you
Drop me at home,
My apartement dark for the night.
In my sleep I awake, and you
Lay on my chest, looking at me,
With your eyes on my face,
And an ear on my heart,
To hear my breath.
And I smile in my sleep
And say, I love you.
And you will say, I know baby.

Swirls of color that absorb thought,
Time and time again they invade
My mind.

As I look out into the ocean,
I se the color as it dips and
Sways on the waves.

When he sighs in the wind,
The color follows the pattern of
His breath.

It covers the meaning and
Sucks up all of the truthfulness
Of anything said.

Forbid the color,
Stop the color,
Accept the color.

I need the feeling of warmth,
When I am alone and cold,
I cradle myself in warmth.
When I am with someone,
I cradle myself in their warmth,
Hoping, also, that they are cradled in mine.

Sometimes, I think, I feel
That I could do without the warm touch.
When I am so hot that I can
Barely stand my own clothing,
But even then the burning heat
Of another layer or of someone's touch
Is pleasurable. -- It is only in times like these
That I feel, the mind can be sent
Racing under heat upon heat.
It drives me to oblivion with the feeling
Of not being able to think, but still, --
I crave the wamth.

Why is it that the things that are the most precious
or the things that are arousing or desirable are
the things that never stay as you want them
But turn instead into sickly maggots that eat away
At what parts of you that you try the most to hide
From the world.
So what is it you need to think? Or need to know?
What will keep it all inside?
A bandage or maybe a gag.
Maybe nothing.

Crawling under the bed
I choke on the dust you left there.
I tell you, "Crawl into my head,
And tell me what you see there."

Looking at you I see darkness
So I blink and pull away
It's only your hair out of focus
And in a whisper you'll hear me say,

"Door to my head has been shut
Door to my head has a lock
I'm afraid you'll think I'm a nut
Cause on this door you don't need to knock."

When the dragon weeps
His tears mingle with the dream of eternal sleep
He craves the night that he will not have to burn
He craves the night that he can love the living
And not be hurt.
His is the might.
His is the dream.
His is the death in us all.

For thousands of years we will live
For thousands of years we will die
And in our minds,
Eternity will be forever.

Flightly amidst the gnarled elms
Holding back those damned tides of time,
You're moving as if between realms,
As stealthly as if commiting a crime.

Heartless, wingless, yet near to me you flutter,
Cracking my soul with each lisping word.
You drink of my essence when given cause to mutter,
That voice, your seed, sounds of one, I long ago, heard.

And then, then, O' sweet treasure,
Now that I see you for what you really were
Each of those evil words you said to me with pleasure
I'll take and spit back at you, you mangy cur.

Be careful next time where you plant your seed
O' my dear for the love that you do ensue
And be careful for who you fake to need,
Because, my only darling, evil breads true.

The cold breeze that rocks through
the already numbed bones.
Buliding a cocoon of warmth,
in the soft heated sheets.
Giving and taking the warm
until you fall asleep at one,
the cold long forgotten.

The sky
Endless
Flight; my life depends upon it; our lives --
For we are one
The air
My soul
And death to all that intrudes.

i am formless
i exist in a circle of light
and can hold you close
touch my circle and you can come in
don't you want to be in my circle?
you can be formless, like me
don't you want to be formless?

Go for the Jugular
Go for the throut
Rip out his heart and
Have the blood drip from your fingers
As you feel it's warm heat.

the day was wet
It had been wet for centuries
It was always wet here
it never dried.

There is no way to get the sadness away.
Comfort cowered in the soul
Only to be pushed away
By the blood of the darness.

Black blood, coldness, fright, fear, pain,
circling in the dark recesses of the soul.

Help She cried My Life:
My time is...
Help was no good for the death had come
the day she was born
the sadness had begun to soon.

it was to end
Never to pause
For for a minute, second or year
Not lifetime
When she/he cried Does it end?

Never replies the Devil.
Search yourself cried God.
Doesn't help They said.
I know said God.
You're all damned! Have been.
There was no hope from the beginning.
You were dooned and so am I
Doomed to be alive for ever
to the the Ultimate creature of death
of life
of the terrible pain
of lonlieness.

Death, disease, destruction
to all that walk the face of the earth
after you, my failed creation.

Alas, farewell.
Death to all that intrudes, Death to all that intrueds,
Death To All That Intrueds.

In the void of space
My mind wanders to the emptieness
But
The emptieness is filled.
That which was each self
Is now us; we are together
Forever.

Salt water lapped gently against the rocks
While her body, filling the dress lovingly,
Rocked and swayed, just at the edge
Of the breakers, halting a great majority
Of the waves from crashing into shore.
I walked to the edge of the water
And dragged the girlt o dry land.
I watched as the water that had so
Thoroghly soaked her dress
Seeped into the rocky sand beneith us.
As I brused the hair from her white face,
The wet tendrils sticking to my fingers,
Two tears dropped from my eyes for this stranger.
I leaned forward and placed a kiss
On her cold, wet, water soaked lips.
the I laid my body across hers as the
Blood red sun sank below the horizon.
And then, when the stars begain to blink into
Existance, one by one, I return her body to the
Water where it sinks below the waves,
Below the breakers, to disappear from me.
I wonder what it means when I wake up,
Wearing her dress with my hair wet.

Death
It is a preoccupation for some,
For others, an omen.

But what an easy feeling
It is not hard to feel death.
A lot of people feel it every day.

In fact, I am dead right now.
I have all the symptoms:
All of the life has been drained out of me
And I feel an extreme sence of nothing.

But I never knew that with
Death
Would come a longing.

Oh, god, save me,
Help me,
Kill me.

Soft brown eyes
Looked at soft borwn eyes.
Across from each other,
They sat.
Long ears and soft brown
Bodies hiding well in the
late winter brush.
How they had found each other
In this semi-barren land?
But here they were looking
At each other, for the last time.

A noise, far off, and one
Is gone.
When the other looks back
After the frightening moment,
She, his other, is gone.
He knew she would be,
She had told him so.
Her lithe body moving
Against his, anouncing clearer
Than any sound,
That she had to leave.

Leaving his hiding place,
He lopes along, away...
Away from the life he's known.
Alone, alone as he has never been.
As the warm air
Brings her scent downwind,
He raises his nose, lightly twitching
And closes his eyes,
Missing her.
And for the first time in his life,
Missing a part of himself, as well.

No door down here in the sadness,
No door down here in the depths,
No door down here where the madness
Crawls.

the tunnels are never-ending,
The tunnels are always bending,
The tunnels are always lending
Themselves.

You're so low you can't see the light,
You're so low you can't see to get out,
You're so low you only know depression
And the pain that follows.

the sun was late one morning
i was ready for him but he did not come up on time
he was an hour and 52 minutes late
it perturbed me that the sun could be allowed to be late
what would be next
later that day i noticed that my watch had falled behind
by four minutes
funny, it had never done that before
only as an after thought i wondered if it was really my watch
that was behind or was it that their clocks were fast
i guess it doesn't really matter

Floating in the ethereal
While mom scotch guards the sofa.

Force-feeding the fleeing chalenger
With curses of their ancestry.

Taking my bood and tearing out the pages
Until all that is left is
'Introduction' and 'Also By The Same Author'

Day to day, forced existance,
The mundane reality of it all drains me dry.

Through the veils to the riverm you can hear the music sound.
It's flutes and drums chase and the voices echo around.
Somehwere deep in the emerald glade can be found a heart that is true.
It sits hre misted, and paitently calm, waiting, waiting for you.
And if thou wanderer take the time to quest amoung the trees
This lonely, waiting, loving heart will to you forever be.
And then together shall both you reside among the music faintly heard.
And to foreign eyes shall be seen a lord and his humming bird.

I felt it for the thousandth time.
Only how do I know.
Only now do I wish I'd never know.
Only now, only now.
Now is not yesterday, although most of us
wish it were.
Now is not tomorrow, although we all
wish it were.
Now, now, I wish I could stop thinking.
Don't you wish you could stop?
To live
and not to think.
To exist
and not know.
To feel what I felt for the thousandth time,
and not to wish you were someone else.
To know, to know.
To know yourself.

Soft aching arms reach to hold you
But they grasp only a thought
That passes through them
Leaving a mist like dew
And with you so far, is all for naught?

On my arms I look where the mist should be
I cannot see, my eyes are wet
They too have been touched
By the mist, your mist, that covers
And the distance never lets me forget

That the ache I feel, is my driving need
It will not die till you are with me
Till we have consumed
The fruit: rind, core, and seed.
Till I see your eyes, I can't be free.

Round and gray
Like marbles set in two small white seas
And expanding outward from their sides,
A strong slope downwards
And a wide expanse of curved flesh upwards.
Strong lips of light color and small red ears.
Hair: short, soft, and curly
Leading down to downy growing stubble.
Pause; reflect.
Describe the face.
Keep going, it whispers, Keep going.

The long sharp edge if it.
ran along my arm.
I felt the fear as it rose in my throat.

Opening my eyes,
I saw nothing but the churning of
the windmill as it ticked off the lonely days.

Keeping my eyes open I noticed
the grass, how it felt on my exposed abdomen
and the flowers that wavered in my view.

But as I once again closed my eyes,
I felt the long sharp edge of it.
It was hurting my throat.

The sky was blue, and I
was alone in the feild, near the lake
next to the windmill.

As I stood up and walkd to
the lake, I could feel the long sharp edge of it,
as it traced its way down my leg.

Under the water I would be safe,
Under the, under the, my eyes were
Open, but it was everywhere.

Slashing at my arms, legs, cheast
and face. Falling to the ground, I look
up, Into the smiling face of the windmill.

Sudenly it stopped, and I was alone.
Sitting calmly at the base of the windmill,
letting the wind rush over me.

Oh, how so peaceful, the wind,
the grass, the dirt and suddenly
I become the long sharp edge of it.

Color etched across my memory...
Blazing their trail,
In soft Pinks and Blues,
Framed by the darker Reds and
Greens with the Yellows
Above and Browns and
Oranges below...

That is how you are...

Before, it was as if
I had never know the
Majesty of color

But it has been you
That has colored my memory,
Given it life and love.
And for all of my days,
I'll never forget
How to my eyes you seemed...
In all of your raidient color,
With its delicate shades and
Tender nuances, that I would have never
Have believed possible.

That vision
Is forever etched into my brain.
and on my eyes,
and in my memory,
and in my heart.

And the rebirth of its wonders
That I experianced
Each time I say you,
May indeed be gone...

But they can never be forgotten.

After all I know
I shall reject the
Process if fear!
Taking what they toldme,
Taking what you showed me,
Taking how I hold me,
I am me.

My taking of this drug
Is a symbol of your love
That I's taking with me
To the point where you can see
Where I sit high above
The pit where I love
You like my drug in my hand
That I clench to, like the band
That was placed around my wrist
By this drug, by this drug-love.

I have found the peace
That I have, over time,
Searched for.

It came to me after
I realized my true time,
And that this was not it.

I keep waiting now
Praying that oen day,
In the not too near future,
It will come.

Hoping it will be soon,
Yet knowing it may never come,
And cherishing it.

Natural Intentions.
Intervening reactions.
The process pulls the seasons closer.
We are all pressed
Into wanting what's
Against our Natural Intentions.
If it would be possible
Would we still do it?

Small, tender showers blowing by
Like a breeze through
your shadow.
Sun on my arms,
swirling round my feet.
Wind crawling along,
touching the sky,
touching me.
close your eyes, lie in the open.
feel that touch on your arm.
feel my fingers encircle your hand.
Don't open your eyes,
you'll only see the wind.

obelisk

obelisk, of obsidian.

shattered, and reformed...
traces of epoxy still dripping down its sides.
its once smooth features covered with spider web
seams almost too small to be seen.
but i know it was broken,
a master must have fixed it.

it was strong, could have stood up to gale winds,
tsunamis,
earthquakes,
lava flows...

it was black, only one color, but many hued,
such beautiful black on black,
like the spectrum to a color-blind
it was every color, and yet none...

it was warm with life, a heat inherent,
like a living creature,
the soul within.

but that was before it was broken

now...

it still stands tall,
still radiates its warmth,
and still shines like a mirror
for the face of a child.

i shall ask to be
made with obsidian
...given a heart of stone.

one that is capable of breaking,
and knows how to come back...
to live life for life itself.

like a lamp, shaded,
i await your touch.
you alone can make me break the night.
i sit with a shade over my face.
take it off, and i'll blind you.
leave it on, look through my guise
and see me as the world sees me.
take it off, and i'll blind you.

Trees, large, loom and crowd around,
Tightly packed, with the water below me.
My birth.
Emergence from the mire,
Begun with the rising of the sun.
When it is born over the horizon, so am I.
Moving, growing, feeding.
Then in the fetid, humid midafternoon...
No anger... no hatred of the world
For my short time,
I mate.
Only the plodding of life
Cources through my chitinous body.
When the evening cools, I lay my eggs
In the tepid pools.
And lay my life down.
One day is all I am given, it is all I know.
The beauty of one day from birth
To death.
Catching the air inder my translucent wings...
Following the sun.

Elegant dolphin...
Dipping into cold waters;
Sliding between the drops
and currents like you do,
And smiling like
Only and fish can smile.

Where does one go when the direction dangles?
How will I get to the end of my rope?
Climb up and up and up and over!
Don’t forget that you need sleep or else
consciousness will devour you and leave nothing
but pain in its place.
It hurts you like a –

Riding along, on a winter's night
The knight gazed in wonder
There in the trees all covered in light
Stood a lightly clad girl
Her arms extended in pleasure

Said the knight to the girl
Why are you standing there so
She smiled, let her arms unfurl
And said only to tempt you
For it was said many years ago

There would come a knight in the night
Would would share the light
That would part the night
And I have stood here waiting
(K)night after (K)night

Now that you are here,
We can begin our quest.

How do you tell one your hearts desires?
You can't just come out and say it.
- I love you.
You can't just blurt it out.
- I want to be with you forever.
No matter how perfect the moment.
Is there anyway to say what you really feel?
- I love you.
Without comming the final act of giving in?
- I lust for you.
But more important,
Is there a way to tell the different.

The water at night.
Silent, and dark.
Peaceful, calm, like obsidian --
Reflecting the sun...
At night.

The quiet of the darkness
It roars in my ears.
I try to cover them
But the quiet knows no
Boundries.

Walking barefoot by a
Lake at night...
Listening to the silence.

Freedom
Like a bird with out a nest,
On the wing.
Flight takes over where the mind leaves off.
Decisions, at first, are impossible

Freedom
To be free, to choose for one
Last time.
After this, you can never go back,
Until the final release.

The freedom
Of Eternity
You are free to choose your forever.
For now until the end...

When the time is right
And the night falls over my fingers.
I can hear your voice
Declaring to me your love.
But I still wonder if it is me.
I look to myself and hold myself together
I keep myself sacred.
When I try to open up, I don't know.

We seperate for a time
And I get to thinking of all we had
And if it was what I thought...
I change my mind a dozen times.
And begin to dwell.

We get back together.
The comfort is there
And so is the securtity.
I never want to leave and
I never want to stop his voice
Because it will always bring me back.
He talk to me in tones. I listen.
I keep myself sacred.
When I try to open up, I don't know.

part one
Lights flashing, incandescent.
Movements slow.
The look that passed was electric
Fending off the smoke and the dark stars.
Little lights passing through black trees
There was one scared heart betrothed,
Asking for the impossible.

part two
...silence
And just the pain
My left hand is missing...
I hadn't noticed.

Secrets whispered in the dark,
Ears hearing soft voices and
Fingers covering other fingers.
Movements so slight
That those sinking black
Eyes can't even see.

And now when she turns, years
Distant, from that dark caress
She doesn't see the light
Of love that he created.

Her sunken eyes might soften
Or even flash ocasionally.
But to her, she doesn't
Have a voice anymore,
Tho her there is only
One path left to traverse.

The woman, like a girl...
Will walk to the window
And watch the setting sun,
Brilliant oranges and purples.

And know that she can't,
Now in searching,
Ever settle for anything
Less, than the other
Half of her soul, which
Was never returned to her.

shift-shift
pulling the rope down the road
shift-shift
tying it to a heavy load
I sling the rope across my back
to drag it slowly across the gravel.
attached at the end of the rope, a sack.
at the base of which the threds, unravel.
take it from my hand, you heathen
you and all of your sickened breatheren
you gave me this sack with love of life
and it only carries disease and strife

in my heart, see this part
take it away, another day.

shift-shift
I see heading towards me a man
shift-shift
A rope like mine is in his hand.

Don't hate me if I tell you that I have
Always
Loved you.
Please, I think that it would
Kill me
Inside.

It must be my fate to always
Watch
And never be included.
I guess it has always been
Hard
For me.

Love is a tricky emotion and a
Lot of times
It is hard to tell it apart
From the other feelings that
One can feel
For another.

For myself it seems harder than for most
But maybe,
They feel the same.

Soft.
Candlewinds.
Desert Song.
Midnight on the Shadows.
Soft.
Plush soft horizons
melting to a puddle of light
only to be born again
in the morning.
Love is in the air
but nothing can be like the
soft, soft, soft.
Sun on my face,
my hair,
wind to my back.
I turn and the wind carresses my arms.
Love.
Sweet love.
Soft.

It was at your funeral, brother, when the old
Memories came flooding back to me:
I remembered when it was hot in the out doors
And it was you and me, the moon like a toenail,
My birth moon, they called it...
Just beginning to show.
We walked out behind the house and into the corn.
I much more liked the corn than the beans
Because the corn would get up so high
You could hide and get lost and pretend
You were somewhere else.
There we were, under the large leaves,
The dirt getting packed under our toes.
It was damp and cold even in the incredible heat.
You were older than me, but not by much.
We wern't wearing much more than bathing suits,
And our hair was long and sticking together
With mud from the coolie.
We ran and ran and ran and
That is when I get myself lost, deep in the corn
The big leaves above me, blocking out
the little light the toenail gives.
I sit in the black dirt, my still wet bottom
Making mud under me and I cry.
When you come upon me
you push me with your foot
Till I am lying on my back,
Elbows now dirtier that before.
You say, "Stop acking like a girl."
Then you grab my hand and drag me behind you.
It is only about four rows later
When we leave the corn only to hear
Our momma calling,
"Kids, Suppers just about done
Get your buts in here and cleaned up!"
Then we run hand in hand
All the way back to the house,
My tears still drying on my cheeks.

Look at this perfect paper.
It doesn't show a mark.
At least none that you can see,
But tears dry.

They fall with reckless abandon
Causing havoc amidst themselves.
But after a time
Their destruction is unknown.
After a time, you can no longer see the pain.

>

It's amazing how you can just sit here,
thinking, living.
Pause for a moment.

Life slowly slips past you.
Every second you are getting older.
It seems sometimes I can almost here time.
At it echoes past me.

It thunders in my ears.
Very loud,
But when I'm loud, it fades to almost a whipser.
Time, time, time, thinking in a thought, how sublime.

Shaken by the quake
It is impossible to move from
Here.
I look up to see her eyes
Brown and black specks flashing.
I blink back her
Agony and Suffering and
Need.
I beg, wordless.
Her stronger will;
Her dominating take
Consuming me; And
Knowing my fate
I fall; Stone setting in.
"Shattered by the quake"
Is what they say later.
"She was hurt in the confusion
And has never been the same since."

It was a garden of exquisite beauty,
Sculpted my a caring hand.
A lord's pride
and a lady's pastime delight.

All the flowers in orderly rows,
Except wjere design called for chaos.
Grass of darkest green,
for winter.
And of lighter hues,
for summer.

There was a shed, a small nursury
where they lady kept her irises.
Near to the she sat two trees,
Roots aching to break free
From their terra-cotta prisons.

They had sat close to each other
For a year now, forgotten.
Their leaves and brances entwined
with each breaze.
Growing so close, they almost looked
As one.

It was a shock
When one day, in late winter,
the lady noticed the two
And decided to move them
To where people might adore
their beauty.
For they had grown lovely
With the time.

As her gardener pulled one
Away, it's branches caught
On the one left behind
And broke them all along one side.

The first tree stil looked lovely,
and was placed near a wall of
Climbing ivy.
the second, alone and half broken,
sat alone.

The lady looked at it and said,
"It'll never look the same again,
Just leave it in the back,
Behind the shed."
And that is where it stayed.

raindrops, large, coalescing
each forcing locks together
the water smothing the strands into one
causing the sleek wet fur to mat
and the long wet hair to tangle
drying in the heat.
as the water turns to sweat.
its wet blackness blends to one
and smoothes the anger and fear together
as they ride.

for Val

Six feet down, how many more to go?
look around, can you see me?
I am never here, but always see you
proud hunter...
are you the living dead?
are you the animal you hunt?
and when the questions end,
where do you turn for answers...

for Val

A shadow filtered through the mesh
of a screen door at 3 a.m.
Passing like the idea it is
and not to be seen by flighty eyes
Unless searched for.
And that is when my eyes
find yours, and then you are gone.

for Val

You yeild to my thoughts
And yet press against my intellect
Leaving me overwrought
And at an impasse to interesct.

I look into eyes
That flash back at me
And see a friend that cries
Through a soul that needs to be.

Connections that we made
Were not very long in teh making
And have yet to fade
Even if we've just begun waking.

for Val

Driving out the voices.
The voices in my head.
How do I stop the voices?

Will they stop if I go deaf?
I don't know, I don't know.
Over and over, I try to
Purge my head of the voices.

There are two kinds.
On the one ear you have
The voices that persecute and ridicule.
And on the other you have
the voices that comfort and soothe.

But I try to get rid of both.
I get rid of the bad voices
Because they hurt my heart.
I need to get rid of the nices ones.
They remind me of what I can never own,
What is no longer mine to hold.

Voices, voices in my head.
Driving out the voices.
Will silence ever come?
I doubt even dying would stop the voices.

It all came flying at me
Each ine a miniature tornado
Caught up in the hurricane
That was everyone.
Their voices melding together
Had the ability to touch me.

Each one pressing and pushing
Their way into my space,
Each of their words would
Drop from their mouths
Like acid, eating away where it hit.

When it all started,
I felt the anger and hatred
Begin to grow and feed on their words
But thought nothing of it.
Until, it to, like acid, began to eat away
And I wanted to let my rage fly
At the people, like their words
And actions flew at me.

I looked to my savior, my salvarion,
My mentor, but he worlessly said
It was mind to deal with.
What he had created in me,
Was mine to deal with.
And so I took all of my emotions,
And balling them up inside,
Let me fly at the nearest one.

And when he fell like a stone, still red
From falling through my atmosphere,
At my feet, I smiled and cried.
I was eaten away, and had killed
A man, But it was only one man.
And the world had many men to spare.

Just the other day the sun went out.
I reached up to change the light bulb,
But realized that although my light bulb
Was living up to its warrenty, the sun,
Was not.
It became dark really fast.
I had no idea what to do.
When the EBS came on the air,
They said that there was nothing
That we could do to save ourselves
And that real soon we would all die.
I was worried and began to pray,
When all of a sudden I heard a thunder clap.
I looked up into a dazzle of whirling lights
Which framed a hideous face.
The creature motioned to me with its
Tounge/Arm/Whatever?
Considering my options well, as I
Usually do before making any serious
Career choices, I chose wisely, and hopped abord his
Spaceship.
Now I am chained by the neck and serving
Drinks to a Three Toed Sloth that speaks
Surprizingly good English.
It gets me to thinking
How in the hell did my cat make out?

It took him -- despite our bond.
It left me -- despite my faith.
In a moment of bone-shattering pain
My mind was split in half
And I was left with no way out
And only half a soul.

Sitting at a desk mear a window in a class.
And I had drawn off my glasses to clean them.
As my hand moved down to bring
The lens to the hem of my shirt,
I saw in the convex lens a reflection
Of the window that was asjacent to me.
It was of the tops of the green trees
Moving and swaying against a cloudy blue sky,
Framed by the square panes. A door, a portal.
Such beauty as I had never seen from this seat.
Without that angled convex lens' aid,
I would only have seen bare rotting trunks
And walls streaked with green metal rust.
In that second, I was in those tree branches
Feeling the wind that moves those cloulds.
My hand finishes its motion unthinkingly
And covers the lens with the hem of my shirt.
I fall back to my seat.
Shaken by my descent, I look outside
Through the wide window,
Aching for my escape, but getting my reprise
From this man-made world.