BOOM! CRASH!
the surf thunders in...
the sand sinks between my toes
only to melt again in the next wave.
As I look into the brilliant blazing
sun, I can see the heat
traveling to warm me.
The beach is long and farther up
the surf gets soft
and slow and quiet.
I'll lie back in the shade of a rock
and dream in the heat
sleep in the sun
I'll listen to the waves rock me to dreams
of the wet water
and the dry sand
and their union between my toes on a
hot summer day.

Crawling under the bed
I choke on the dust you left there.
I tell you, "Crawl into my head,
And tell me what you see there."

Looking at you I see darkness
So I blink and pull away
It's only your hair out of focus
And in a whisper you'll hear me say,

"Door to my head has been shut
Door to my head has a lock
I'm afraid you'll think I'm a nut
Cause on this door you don't need to knock."

Go for the Jugular
Go for the throut
Rip out his heart and
Have the blood drip from your fingers
As you feel it's warm heat.

the day was wet
It had been wet for centuries
It was always wet here
it never dried.

There is no way to get the sadness away.
Comfort cowered in the soul
Only to be pushed away
By the blood of the darness.

Black blood, coldness, fright, fear, pain,
circling in the dark recesses of the soul.

Help She cried My Life:
My time is...
Help was no good for the death had come
the day she was born
the sadness had begun to soon.

it was to end
Never to pause
For for a minute, second or year
Not lifetime
When she/he cried Does it end?

Never replies the Devil.
Search yourself cried God.
Doesn't help They said.
I know said God.
You're all damned! Have been.
There was no hope from the beginning.
You were dooned and so am I
Doomed to be alive for ever
to the the Ultimate creature of death
of life
of the terrible pain
of lonlieness.

Death, disease, destruction
to all that walk the face of the earth
after you, my failed creation.

Alas, farewell.
Death to all that intrudes, Death to all that intrueds,
Death To All That Intrueds.

Death
It is a preoccupation for some,
For others, an omen.

But what an easy feeling
It is not hard to feel death.
A lot of people feel it every day.

In fact, I am dead right now.
I have all the symptoms:
All of the life has been drained out of me
And I feel an extreme sence of nothing.

But I never knew that with
Death
Would come a longing.

Oh, god, save me,
Help me,
Kill me.

No door down here in the sadness,
No door down here in the depths,
No door down here where the madness
Crawls.

The tunnels are never-ending,
The tunnels are always bending,
The tunnels are always lending
Themselves.

You're so low you can't see the light,
You're so low you can't see to get out,
You're so low you only know depression
And the pain that follows.

I felt it for the thousandth time.
Only how do I know.
Only now do I wish I'd never know.
Only now, only now.
Now is not yesterday, although most of us
wish it were.
Now is not tomorrow, although we all
wish it were.
Now, now, I wish I could stop thinking.
Don't you wish you could stop?
To live
and not to think.
To exist
and not know.
To feel what I felt for the thousandth time,
and not to wish you were someone else.
To know, to know.
To know yourself.

Soft aching arms reach to hold you
But they grasp only a thought
That passes through them
Leaving a mist like dew
And with you so far, is all for naught?

On my arms I look where the mist should be
I cannot see, my eyes hare wet
They too have been touched
By the mist, your mist, that covers
And the distance never lets me forget

That the ache I feel, is my driving need
It will not die till you are with me
Till we have consumed
The fruit: rind, core, and seed.
Till I see your eyes, I can't be free.

My taking of this drug
Is a symbol of your love
That I's taking with me
To the point where you can see
Where I sit high above
The pit where I love
You like my drug in my hand
That I clench to, like the band
That was placed around my wrist
By this drug, by this drug-love.

Riding along, on a winter's night
The knight gazed in wonder
There in the trees all covered in light
Stood a lightly clad girl
Her arms extended in pleasure

Said the knight to the girl
Why are you standing there so
She smiled, let her arms unfurl
And said only to tempt you
For it was said many years ago

There would come a knight in the night
Would would share the light
That would part the night
And I have stood here waiting
(K)night after (K)night

Now that you are here,
We can begin our quest.

Whe the time is right
And the night falls over my fingers.
I can hear your voice
Declaring to me your love.
But I still wonder if it is me.
I look to myself and hold myself together
I keep myself sacred.
When I try to open up, I don't know.

We seperate for a time
and I get to thinking of all we had
And if it was what I thought...
I change my mind a dozen times.
And begin to dwell.

We get back together.
The comfort is there
And so is the securtity.
I never want to leave and
I never want to stop his voice
Because it will always bring me back.
He talk to me in tones. I listen.
I keep myself sacred.
When I try to open up, I don't know.

shift-shift
pulling the rope down the road
shift-shift
tying it to a heavy load
I sling the rope across my back
to drag it slowly across the gravel.
attached at the end of the rope, a sack.
at the base of which the threds, unravel.
take it from my hand, you heathen
you and all of your sickened breatheren
you gave me this sack with love of life
and it only carries disease and strife

in my heart, see this part
take it away, another day.

shift-shift
I see heading towards me a man
shift-shift
A rope like mine is in his hand.