I am a drooling baby kitten....**falls over**
Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
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owh yeah...i am angry!
28 MAY 2003 10:15:28
Been busy lately, busy fighting and forcing meself to improve my sleep cycle. i was sooo used to stay up at night, till my body can't really stand it anymore; yup, lately, sket2 sakit- sakit kepala lah,nak demam lah, skin problems lah and now nih, my jaw and my entire right cheek is hurt- because wisdom teeth (both atas dan bawah) nak tumbuh-seksa siot ah! and aku nih fatigue tak abis2 lagi. apsal la lemah sgt lately...waaa..on the 4th will be my second year portfolio exams, and i need to upgrade my drawings- since the final project harituh tak sempat siap and end up dpt marks x bagus. ellina owh ellina....i'm coping realllllyy slowly with archi..i'm not going to give any excuse, it's just me. me and my communication problem, me and my inferiority, me and my lack of understanding, and me, maybe too dependant on frens in class to built up my self esteem and finally me, with my 'presentation' fright (and i wonder how did i started to have that-i used to speak in public). basically my exams are okay, meaning that i can understand the lectures, but i am so damned slooooww in grasping the ideas on how to develop the concept, making drop-dead sketches..huhu..i really hoped that next year + yrs to come will be fine for me. i still have the passion to do it, but maybe lack in strength. i wonder where did all my strength go- i am not as enthusiastic as i was before (despite my toye fece..and muka ngantuk all the time-yep..i do have the enthusiast inside of me) rite now i just want to get over my BA and move into another uni!! owh yea..that's another story.
i just hate this university. mm..the admin to be more specific. the accommodation officers are suck! they just know how to pestering u to pay for accommodation and just don't care if u are under sponsorship or not- can't they just think? jpa, of course la slow in making payment- they are slow in most of the things-i do understand because they got so many procedures (plus the jpa officers asik pass baton to complete their cycle to beranak every year..hehe). why the accommodation officers tuh bengap sgt aa? even the British gov pon slow ape nak buat decision, lagi satu, finance office...waarrgghh...they always make stoopid mistake- kasi warning nak expel aku frm skolah sbb tak bayar fees-siap kasi invoice tuh...sakit ati ngilerr...bape kali da diye nak amik details aku- i am under sponsorship- if not..i'll be studying in UM right now (and yeah..prob dah grad pon!) and lately diye buat hal lagi. i got the uni's some sort of international student punye scholarship. and i can get the award money after jpa pays the tuition fees. now derang kat finance office tuh bodo sgt, they deducted my tuition fees and end jpa pays less- and i cannot get my award money. apeplak jpa yg dapat- yg penat nak study dulu nak dapatkan menda tuh bukannye jpa- aku yg pecah pale. bengang tahap gaban betul! anyways..just hope things will go smoothly and dpt award tuh A.S.A.P sbb nak guna utk fare balik mesia and beli souvenirs utk org2 kat mesia. i don't want to ask for my parents for money- i just don't want to. the purposes i'm here is to get both of my part 1 and 2, to learn how to be independent and to open up my mind, to see the other part of the world, thus to be a well educated, wise and a good person. these are the things that i want to achieve. hope by the end of my 6th year, i would have transform into that person.
sorry guys if u have to read all the negative comments today. i'm just sick of being here..nasib baik i got a few good frens kat sini, and some best frens that i can contact with thru msn/y messenger. i thank Allah for that. if not, i don't know how depressed i am now.
YaleS Craps©
just a random whateva!
24 MAY 2003 09:56:25
I woke up at 7 this morn!! ajaib ajaib dan ajaib giler-- Ellina, a gurl who never kenal what is 'pagi' has woken at 7 AM, SATURDAY -with her own free will. Wohoo..or maybe i'm just like that, coz i know that i will be damned sleepy around 6 pm. but then, hey, i woke up early!! cheer for meself! hehe. and here in my room are oja and her fren from Glasgow. they came by to help oja with her final project since this project contributes a lot for her BA. mm..and i am intended to get some ideas on to make a good layout for presentations so that i know what to do next year.
well..i've been making lists of stuff that i shd buy, and shd bring back home, and even stuff to buy in mesia, since i'll be going back mid June. less than a month from now..yayyy!! can't wait to get back home, but there're a few things that i'm gonna miss when i'm in mesia:-
1. marks and spencers' fruit cocktail trifle- waa...i definitely can't get this one in mesia. sorry, i might cut off buying other stuff in M&S- but not this one!
2. fast internet connection- aa...u know..
3. my darrling PC. yep...i'm just sooo in love with my pc. it has been soooo good to me. and i'm thinking of buying presents for it when i get back here in sept.
4. wearing sport shoes without burning your feet.
5. the excitement of waiting for the postman to arrive at 9 am on weekdays. well..i'm gonna miss this habit since i'm moving out frm the uni's accommodation in 3 weeks time.
6. of course, a few frens in newcastle.
but there are things that even money can't buy in malaysia. the people there, for instance- how i missed looking at old ladies at kenduris with their gold bracelets and bangles up to their elbow, with their hands stood upright while eating the lauk kenduri. muahaha..lawak gile. at least they kinda remind me not to buy lotsa jewelry when i'm older..what for? i will end up wasting my storage at home since i can't wear them all the time.
the other things- my mom's cook (i think everybody's shd agree on this), my own sweet room (which has been 'takluk' by my sisters- and made a playground out of it! sighh), savouring the GSC popcorn...cheap clothing and handbags and shoes- and shoes and shoes. oh yeah, back to the jewelry, i'd rather sacrifice my storage for shoes, than jewelry. hehe.. :D
owh...they have woken up, so i have to stop now, i can't really get the idea out of my head when people around. :D
YaleS Crap©
emptiness
20 May 2003 23:10:57
Today i sat for my last paper- an environmental design examination. Yes, i had an exam on my birthday, AGAIN. my exam started at 0930, but i was still revising on 0830; feeling that i don't have the slightest clue about this subject. but later on, it went okay- fuhh..nasib baik ;) i just hoped that i passed- i don't want to go back early during the summer holidays.
i often lost in thoughts during my birthdays; contemplating on what i have done for the past year-did all those things improve my life and etc..but this year i was feeling empty. it is not something sad or what. just completely empty. so i ordered myself a pizza, hoping to cheer my growling stomach-- yeah at least my stomach is full.
to all my frens, thank you for your thoughts. i really appreciate them. sorry if somewhere in the past i've forgotten your birthday, but i'll try to make it up. ;)
P/S: Ahaa...cute cute =D
YaleS Crap©
The guy of my dream
Sunday, 4 May 2003 21:26:22
someone asked me about the characteristic of my dream guy the other day. hmm..to be honest, i never really tell guys what type of person that i want; maybe it's a secret, or maybe i just can't put it into words; or maybe i don't even have a dream guy. hmm.. someone suggested that a gurl should look for a guy that can make wise decisions. well the person's probably right. someone that is so dear to me said that look for a guy that truly loves you. and some said, go for someone stable-- go for good looking guys (huhh??)-- go for someone that doesn't smoke-- go for blalblablabal..so on and so forth. well to be honest, i'm easily attracted to someone that i find mysterious or artistic. say the word again....ATTRACTED. i had this imagination that mysterious guys are full of surprises, challenging and always make your heart beats wildly every time u see them. aha, knowing some guys that i considered as 'mysterious' and i learnt that-- yep..they are full of surprises but not all are pleasant ones. REALLY challenging and sometimes they just got on your nerves by saying unclear things-- as if there is no 'certainty' in their words..no guarantees. and yeah, your heart beats faster everytime u see them, either because they captivate you with their mysterious charm, or they're just being a total ass. hehe.. but yeah, mysterious guys are drop dead charming at times that u can fall for them almost instantly, but they are the most dangerous species of human kind. thehehe..
hmm..but after watching a few series of Meteor Garden, a Taiwanese drama series, i've made into a decision that; yes, the mysterious men are really attractive when they are still mysterious in your eyes. but once the puzzle has been solved, then all the excitement might fade away. hmm.. haha..i've watched too much tv lately-i guess. but i think; i'd rather go for an honest (and normal) guy that has the will to improve himself (so that i can improve me) because he wanted to; not because of me or any other reason. (yeah most gurls find it 'romantic' for a guy to change bcoz of HER- but i believe that might not be a permanent one) aha, and he must love me with all his heart, for who i am...erm..but in my case, the latter one is kinda hard to find. hmm..if only...he is also mysterious + artistic + baik + charming + gentleman + good personality and style + blablablbalblablaa...huih..heheehe...ok, now i tak berpijak dibumi yg nyata dah. hehehee..--blame the Meteor Garden that put me into this mood! :p
YaleS Crap©