Glasgow in an hour time. Everything's packed and ready to go. I've been looking forward for this trip (to Florence and Rome) since i bought the tix 2 months ago but at this moment, i don't feel like going at all.

I'm worried about my technology stuff.

Cutting the story short, it was all my fault that stuff happened. I can't control my stress and only God knows how i felt. i tried to reach out for help and i really hope that i'll get better soon. but sometimes i do feel sad thinking that i can't really confide as much as i wanted to. some people just don't understand or maybe they do.. but they're more inclined into thinking only about themselves. and still some people questioning why it is so hard for me to open up to others. why bother when they don't give a damn?

It does make me sad when i tried hard to be there whenever i was needed, but it felt so hard to reach out to others when u know nobody's there. i'm not blaming anybody for this, maybe it's just human nature.

So i really hoped i'll feel better after this trip.

Thank you guys for the Birthday wishes and presents! Life was so hectic these last weeks of semester and to be honest, i wasn't sure if i have the right to celebrate my own birthday. but i did, anyways. started off with a 12  hours of sleep. what a bliss! watched da vinci code and had a lovely dinner with a few friends. not forgetting lots of thoughtful messages i received from the other part of the world. That means a lot to me.

So i bought myself a present. a camera. hehe. hope it works fine.

Portfolio submission is on Thursday. damn.

I believe
I believe
I believe
I believe the love you talk about with me

is it true, do I care?

honestly, you can try to wipe the memories aside
but it's you that you erase

'cause there's no place that I could be without you
it's too far to discard the life I once knew
honestly, all the weather storms are bringing
are just a picture of my dreams
'cause when I think of you as mine
and allow myself with time
to lead into the life we want

I feel loved, honestly
I feel loved, this honestly

I believe you mean the best that life can bring
I believe in it all
honestly, you can try
your heart is just as long as mine
is it ours to let go

'cause there's not place that I could be without you
it's too dark to discard the life I once knew
honestly, a single wrong is not enough
to cover up the pain in us
'cause when I think of you as mine
and allow myself with time
to lead into the life we want
I feel loved, honestly
I'll make a joke so you must laugh
I'll break your heart so you must ask
is this the way to get us back
I don't know, honestly
I don't know, this honestly

there's no place that I could be without you
honestly

there's no place that I could be without you
there's no place that I could gleam without you
there's no place that I could dream without you
there's no place that I could be without you

honestly...

Bored     -18/05/06

I think i want to head somewhere this weekend. I know, i know i have tons to do, but i desperately need a break. my first choice is Barcelona. but thinking the time that i own before submission on Monday and a portfolio on Thursday, i guess the plan is not feasible. it's not even a plan, for goodness sake! Eh, what was my second choice again?

i don't want to think, i just want to do. i don't want to think. i'm disappointed for no concrete reason. this is crazy, i know. don't ask me why.

The Da Vinci Code     -17/05/06

Okay i might be too early to comment on this movie but hey, i don't care. It's not that i'm trying to underestimate Tom Hanks or anything, but i can't imagine him being Robert Langdon! he's a great actor, no questions asked but Hanks as Langdon???

A charismatic, slightly mature professor with a tad of sexiness plus a brown tweed jacket...i think they should have cast some unknown actor for the job.

It's the same problem with the new Bond. the ever poyor Bond has not only gotten poyor-er, he became bimbo-er too! blond bond...seriously???

haha, i'm not a bond fan anyways.

hmm..on some totally unrelated note, i wish he'll be standing on my doorway, all messed up and jetlagged this weekend. darn, i'll be the happiest girl in the world if that ever happens. No, unfortunately not this year. i'll be stuck with books and drawings, the same ol' same ol' every year. i'm hopelessly romantic, i know.

Owh Helloo.. (with dreamy eyes)    -13/05/06

So, after months of looking at reviews, i decided to get Casio's finest cam, the Z750 (not the one below). the only reason that makes me want that camera is for the rave reviews. BUT my hesitation was the look. haha. typical! apart from that, it has been discontinued due to the new model Z850. with a higher price with the same old look, i don't think it's desirable anymore.

Second choice. and hopefully i really made up my mind with this one, is Casio Exilim S600.

mak ai funkynye ko...(drool) it might not be as superb as the one that i originally wanted, but hey, it does look better! and slightly cheaper too! ga ga ga.. too bad that blue olympus mju 700 have more bad reviews than good ones. if not things would have settled by now, and maybe i'll be a slightly angry new camera owner if i have bought that one. hehe.

Langkawi 2006     -11/05/06

Hey I can't wait for our Langkawi trip this September. it'll be just four of us, friends from the Sunway College. Whatever it is, i'm sure it'll be the highlight of MY year since it's been ages we hang out together and i know they are not the type to upset others during trips. no badmoods, no tarik-tarik muka, no uptight personality that constantly trying to blame others kalau salah jalan or yg jenis komplen penat penat penat all the time. i'm so glad i'm friends with these people. weeeehheeeee !

Self esteem     -10/05/06

I've discovered that the greatest impact Newcastle had on me is on my self esteem. orang, skolah sumer sama je. degrading is a major credit in this world.

Poyor.     -08/05/06

so how do u define poyor-ness? i bet kalau guna perkataan nih depan org2 tua derang musti tak tahu.

so i'm going to talk about poyor-ness today. manusia yg suka ckp kunon nak tunjuk baik/memahami/simpati etc tapi sebenarnye cakap tak serupa bikin pon. ckp kunon jangan beli nike sbb derang nih yahudi tapi perangai tak baik tara mana pon, mulut mcm siyal jugak. ckp pasal jangan beli barang buatan negara barat tapi sendiri modify kete nasional jadi vrrrommm vrrommm 'wiralution' or kancil-mira. dah kancil tuh kancil jelah. ape nak malukan. at least ade kete. ckp iyo-iyo kalau buleh tanak judge org dr first impression/rupa, kenal hati budi org tuh dulu baru la judge, tapi pilih muka kalau nak kawan. kutuk org sbb org tu ____(feel free nak letak any physical defect here). don't you think that is super pretentious? nak org baik ngan ko sbb ko rasa hati budi ko bagus, tapi sendiri pilih bulu. nak org layan diye baik tapi layan org mcm taik.

pastuh org jenis 'aa..kalo ade ape2 cakap je tau'. nih lagi 50x poyor. bila aku ckp takleh terima pon. tapi nak buat camne, mmg manusia cam nih mmg dah pupus pon. kalo rasa dah tahu ko takleh terima ape orgh ckp, apa kata jangan ever sebut-'aa..kalo ade ape2 cakap je tau'. by saying that bunyi kunon down to earth la kan, nak perbetulkan diri sendiri dgn dgr komen org pasal ko. so its about compromising your ego. and some people ego is such a big deal they'll die kalo tak letak billboard kat dahi so that org tahu 'aku ego'. but to me, it sounds' tuhlong aa korang percayalah aku nih ego'. fine kalo ko ego, but dont fuck yourself with the wrong words lah kot. in other way, stick to it, nak ego, egolah. nak down to earth, then be down to earth.

maybe sbb salah aku gak sbb aku selalu observe org dlm diam2, selalu org ckp/buat ape2 menyakitkan ati aku aku diam je, tapi sekali kalo terasa mcm lazer beam hinggap kat telinga tuh tuhlong la paham yang aku dah BOSAN nak dengar ape ko ckp and i think you're talking shit and tak considerate kat org lain langsung. but of course, sekali aku lazer kat org, org salahkan aku sbb ckp benda yg kunonnye tak patut kat org. and again, aku MALAS nak komen sbb aku rase kalo org lain duduk kat tempat aku pon sure dah muak gila ngan perangai orang2 poyor nih. aku rase kalo org2 poyor tu sendiri dengar ape yg derang ckp sure rase cam nak gali kubur sendiri. then again, manusia nih selalu take things for granted. sbb aku ingat aku penah buat salah kat org lain la aku selalu choose tanak pekik kat telinga org.

aku selalu try nak salahkan diri sendiri sbb allow certain people pijak kepala aku. dah, sapa suruh aku tak melenting siap2kan? org ckp ko gemok/perkataan yg seangkatan dgn tu depan2, ko diam je (of course la ko terasa big time, tapi iyelah, ape ko buleh buat pon). org gelakkan sbb ko tak sampai nak amik something kat atas rak pon ko diam jugak, iyelah, tuhan dah takdirkan camtuh. cuba kalo aku pint point 'kecacatan' org yg tukang ckp mulut mcm tempayan tuh? aku bet trauma sampai mati. duh, aku lagi la buduh sbb curse kuasa tuhan. lagi satu sakitkan ati org. tapi org camtuh bukan reti pk pon.

poyor poyor poyor, kenapalah ko poyor? ckp yoko-yoko iyo tapi habuk pon tarak. mcm bagus je.

    men

I was browsing through my monthly Glamour when i saw the top 2 pix. I fell in love with that cheeky expression of Ioan Gruffudd almost instantly! and Hugh Dancy isn't that bad looking either. terus otak link gi Clive Owen (*sigghhh ). Owh, photographic memory aku nih masih bagus lagi rupenyeh. hehehe. ok back to topic. All 3 men were actually in King Arthur. Lancelot, Galahad and King Arthur himself. ga ga gaa..

Owh i forgot my point.

The movie itself was pitiful, no pretty face can help that!

And on the other hand, which one's ur fav?