Words/phrase which i found soooo Overrated.
28 October 2004
1. Friendship
Banyak kali aku jumpa org yg guna word 'friendship' nih just to cover their own asses. "ah..kalau ko tak tolong aku (buat benda jahat) mmg la ko bukan kawan aku" "apelah, camnih ke kawan? itupon kesah ke?" apekebendenyeh la tuh??? tuh bukan friendship..tuh puppet namanye. lagi satu bila si kawan nih tegur diye...diye melenting "ko kawan aku..you should be on MY side" in some cases, yes. but kalau benda tuh mmg sah salah, ataupon mmg akan menyusahkan ko/kawan ko...mmg dah tugas kawan ko la tegur kan? itu la friendship. lagi satu pasal org yg senang sgt ngaku org tuh 'bestfren' diye. sumer org yg pernah ade conversation ngan diye tuh bestfren diye. so bila diye rase diye tuh 'bestfren' main suka hati je nak ckp something kat org lain bagi pihak 'bestfren' diye. but dalam byk2 manusia yang suka guna perkataan 'friendship' nih...yang paling hina sekali of course la yang ngaku ko kawan diye...sehidup semati..semakan seminum...tapi kat belakang kutuk gila. habes rahsia org tuh diye kasitau kat org lain. and bila org confront...diye ckp..."he/she's my bestfriend..i don't keep any secrets from them" ape jadahnye tuh? dah ko ngaku satu dunia nih bestfren ko...so buleh la ko jaja org lain punye secret kat semua 'bestfren2' ko yek? org camnih patut mati je kene tembak ngan senapang gajah.
2. Perfect
hmm..yg nih dah ckp harituh. lame gila kalau sumer benda perfect kan?
3. Up-to-date (fashion/trend).
kalau nama benda tuh DIOR, benda tuh cun walaupon sebenarnye buruk gila. kalau pakai baju mcm janet jackson pakai time concert yg nampak boobies diye tuh pon diye rase cun so diye pon pakai jugak- sebab it's part of a trend. kalau trend sumer org bogel..ko pon nak bogel gak..kalo aku yg pakai baju nih kira out dated laaa. tak kesah kalau satu benda tuh ko rasa lawa and it fits, nak pakai...pakailah. but bila kutuk2 org sbb out-dated..just because they don't own some designers' stuff, too bad lah. tu fashion victim namenyeh.
4. Lawa=baik/bagus
Nih lagi satu. benda yang paling biase aku dengar "gila minah tuh tak lawa..diye gemok/hitam/rambut kerinting/botak etc" dol...kalau org tuh model...tak kesahlah..sbb diye mmg peragakan diri diye so that org tgk. logic lagi la kalau nak kutuk org macam miss mesia 2004 yang masuk miss universe contest dengan babat sama besar ngan babat (lemak kat perut) aku dan lengan yg gelebeh (memalukan mesia sungguh). "wuh..minah tuh lawa woo..muka cam cina/arab" apenyeh? abistu kalau muka cam melayu tak lawa ke? abistuh kalau lawa but prangai cam hantu..apehal? ade org kutuk fantasia barrino (american idol winner 2004) muka buruk..sebab tu la diye tanak sokong. whattt??? kalau ckp tanak sokong sbb diye nyanyi cam katak takpelah..nih sbb diye- tak lawa???
teringat kat skolah rendah time darjah satu dulu...satu kelas tanak kawan ngan satu budak nih..sebab diye gemuk dan hitam.aku kecik2 pon bodo main ikut je org lain..(aku mati2 ingat sbb diye ade kutu, rupenyeh bukan diye) guess what? budak tu bila tukar penggal cikgu soh duduk sebelah aku dlm kelas..normal aje. tapenah kutuk org pon. org yg tanak kawan org lain sbb org lain kurang bernasib baik dr segi fizikal tuh sama je cam hina Allah punye kuasa cipta dunia nih. aku ingat benda nih jadi time aku kecik2 aje...dah tua2 nih pon sama aje. so, in general...beauty comes from within.. therefore lawa=bagus/baik is soooo damn overrated!
5. Tak matured/ tak open minded
"ko tak isap pot ke??apedaaa..tak open minded betullah!" apokobondo? biasenyeh org yg guna phrase nih musti berkait ngan benda yg tak bagus. ko nak buat benda jahat/tak elok..by all means..lantak ko lah..SELAGI tak nyusahkan org lain. selalu org yang terasa diri 'open-minded' sesangat nih tak reti nak respect org lain n seriously in denial yg benda diye buat tu tak betul. bila org tegur/kasi facts kat diye..dah tak tahu sangat nak jawab balik..benda yang derang suka sangat guna as ayat penghabisan inilah diyenye: "apelah ko nih..tak matured betul!"
something funny caught my attention tonight.
28 October 2004
Maybe because I have done this in the past, I'm now more careful on saying factual things- before memalukan diri kat org yg lagi tahu. Sometimes we want to prove that we know something, but instead of boasting as if you know those things, it's so much better if you put it in 'discussion' form. some people buat 'lawak' by saying those 'jargons' especially internet/computer jargons so that org lain ckp...."wah...ko sangat gempak dan terer pasal computer" contohnye mcm buat blog. nowadays ramai gila org ade blog- whatever their reasons are...i don't really care. providers such as blogspot really menyenangkan hidup. what we have to do is set up the layout mcm yg kita nak dan tulis whatever we desire. kalau tak tahu apa2 pasal web designing/publishing pon masih buleh publish blog. bagus sebenarnye. tak de la sakitkan otak nak buat things from scratch (kalo tak..nnt layout jadi cam akunyeh nih la...cacat dan koman)
tapi yg jadi lawaknye bila org yang war-war yang diye 'create' webpage diye guna mcm2 la software yg bunyik cam gempak aje- padahal guna templete yg providers mcm blogspot/pitas etc yang mmg dah disediakan. dohh...mahu muntah! aku org yg tak terer pasal benda2 computing nih pon tahu benda tuh bullshits.
some people mmg malu sesangatla nak ngaku yang diye tak tau pasal sesatu benda tu. tapi yg mana lagi malu bila dibandingkan diye being caught saying something totally wrong dr facts. FACTS. tak mati aih kalau ko tak tau satu benda...u cannot know everything in this world. again, FACTS.
and lagi lawak...kalau org2 camnih kan..bila diye dok boast2 pasal satu benda..then ade org tegur ckp ape yg diye ckp tuh salah...bukan reti nak SENYAP, samada nak gadoh and terus sangkut paut pasal benda lain...but worst of all, bila org tuh start ckp.. "owh...aku nih busyyy..byk sgt benda nak buat...tak de masa nak tahu" buduh ke ape??? dah tahu salah, DIAM jelah! nih nak cover la tunjuk yang diye tuh occupied gila la ngan benda lain..but yang gatal nak ckp something yang ko tak tau tuh pesal??
Ego kene bertempat. buhsan sial org ego tak bertempat ni. bukan takat buhsan aje, bagi aku org yg ego tak tentu pasal nih lagi bodoh sebab they won't listen, they won't learn, they don't acknowledge other people apetah lagi nak respect org lain. all in all.. you won't go anywhere dengan ego; rugi. PRIDE, on the other hand is essential coz pride yg kasi ko self-worth. but ego will just block you from all the knowledge and beautiful things in this world. that is what i think.
bla..bla..bla..
27 October 2004
Just got back from Birmingham. day trip, penat seyyy...
might sound pathetic, but this is the first time aku menapak kaki kat birm. aku menapak sampailah ke 'bull ring' shopping complex (gila buruk lah nama tuh) but seriously...gila best tempat tuh..too bad i didn't bring my digicam...aku sarat sgt lah! (sarat bawak portfolio lerrr) but the shopping complex itself was a bit tricky though.
interview tuh kat shrewsbury...an hour journey frm birm naik train. the town is small so i imagined that the office itself would be a small one too. but my guesses were wrong, there're 80 of them! (yeah..it's quite a large number from the previous firms that went to) and there're more cawangan elsewhere. agak gaban jugak lah firm tuh. yep..the one yg design KL Sentral. not bad huh? i hope that i will get this job, but then again I won't put too much hope in it. but thanks to the last interview (the london one)- i gained some confidence to show my work. and hope that this interview will bring more self control in me for the next one. (next monday in glasgow)
okay, enough already. aku sendiri rase bosan baca entry2 aku. keje.keje.keje. I'm working on my new layout. (in my mind) I'm searching for a new theme. buhsan dey tgk layout nih..dah la cacat.
aku ade berita buruk. AKU NAMPAK SLUG TRAIL KAT DAPO! yeah elly..u read it right. i saw a big fat slug trail (meaning a big fat slug is inhabiting our house, at the very least!) kalau la benda tuh tak menggelikan...rase cam nak sula je benda tuh. f**k all the slugs in the world! (kecuali gamat la kot..tak silap aku it's a type of slug yg dok kat laut)
skarang aku dah tak rasa safe dah bila gi dapo. aku kene on balik mata bionic aku. mata bionic utk tgk slug. buang karan betul!
urgh...damn you slugs!!! (aku marah serious2 nih!) :p
Mati kutu punye Sunday!
24 October 2004
Had a nightmare last night. I was back to the time when i met the guy who (in the past) broke my heart. It was like the 'remake' of how we first met, in an 'open plan' school just like Norman Foster's school ( it's pretty obvious that it has been altered since i met him in college). Nothing flattering really, scary adelah! i kept on saying "oh no..this is not happening. I don't want to go back there again" but phhewww... lucky it was just a dream.
general rules: wounds WILL heal. But internal scars will remain. I have nothing against him anymore, but hell that hurts!
p/s: we made karipap today- it's just that elly's the cook, i'm the toyol. wey, i KNOW how to make currypuff, lah! it's just that i love being a toyol ;)
nak buat kuih makmur ke idak ha? mom tanak send coz she's hoping that i'll go back home before raya. my waistline is expanding rapidly..hmm.. not good...this is not good.. can someone put a slug or something in kuih makmur so that I won't touch that kueh again??
Weird...
22 OCTOBER 2004
U know what, i was sorta mentally prepared to go home (i even started making the 'to-do' and 'what-to-bring-home' lists) when suddenly i received a few calls regarding my application. one of them saying that they are reviewing my CV, and 2 more invited me for an interview. I'm flattered, but somehow i feel like a total loser because most of the things that i tried to work on just fell apart.
I miss my fiancé. I was too busy searching for jobs and too busy worrying (because i haven't got a job) had created some distance. I miss my friends and family. I miss the 'old' conversation when nothing sounds like "how's your job applications?" "dah dpt keje dah?" "haa?? apsal tak dpt lagi?". I felt so guilty for trying not to have these type of conversations (more like..Q&A session actually) by avoiding them. to be honest, I don't like to feel like a lousy daughter. I hate to say the word-" i lost" or "i didn't get it"..."i didn't perform" and yg sekutu dgnnye to my parents. i hate to disappoint them.
And some talked more than they should.
Now i'm feeling like i want to go home.
I WANT, I WANT !
17 OCTOBER 2004
mkay, some people might take this just as a weird shaped shoehorn (some might not even know what it is) but to me, it's a piece of ART! (costs you abt 25 quids..not bad) this fab piece is designed by Manolo Blahnik, the shoe genius. aa..why lah birthday aku dah lepas?!
"Why shouldn't mundane, everyday items be a pleasure to touch, to use, even just to look at?" - Blahnik.
------ Iklan tamat di sini ;) ------
I've been doing some soul searching just now- but the thing is, I don't and can't feel not even a teeny weenie bit of guilt for buying TWO pairs of shoes today. for your record, i've bought 5 pairs within 4 months (since i got back) and before that another 5 during my 3 weeks stay in malaysia (okay, 2 of them are sandals, another was kasut hantaran) I feel like carrie bradshaw, except for my shoe boxes don't shout the word "manolo blahnik" on them. ;)
So..all the dark clouds are gone now. MY sky is clear, terang benderang. see how new shoes can do wonders on me? hihihihihi :D
SELAMAT BERPUASA
15 October 2004
Today's the first day of Ramadhan. I've been ganti-ing my puasa for the past 2 weeks so..I'm kinda used to it now. But honestly, fasting has never stopped from moving around-except for the first day lah kot. Saw Dinna's resolution on her ramadhan, well..i guess i have one too. I want to read Quran as much as i can- hm..this is more or less the same resolution like last year, but hope with my extra time i really can make it this time.
mmkay, and today's the 15th and I should stop applying for jobs- as promised to mom. giving up gives me such a weird feelings. But in this case, I should have a real time frame or I'll be forever waiting. hmm.. and guess what? my seminars regarding placement year will be on the 11th and 12th Nov. meaning that the earliest that i can go back to malaysia is on the 12th night, arriving on the 13th. waaaa.....by then- no more pasar ramadhan!! in the worse case, i go back on the 13th, sampai on the 14th. waaaaaaa....it's first day of raya!! and my encik rahman surely dah balik ipoh nak beraya! hukhuk...and my other encik rahman, he's always busy during the first 3 days of eid. giving hampers to the employees and stuff. And highway traffic will be so bad during eid..he'll be running around to check on that as well.
I might end up makan cokelat toblerone kat KLIA coz sumer kedai tak bukak on pagi raya...huhuhu...(now imagine that sad raya song "bila tiba hari raya..semua insan bergumbira..tetapi bagiku..hanya kesedihan..sbb kene beraya kat KLIA..."
Am i thinking too much? just dump the seminars and go back as early as possible lah! hm...that DOES sound more pleasant. heheheh ;)
On the other hand..I'm still hoping to get a positive reply from the employers. hmmph
Owh...I see light from above..weeeeeee :p
14 October 2004
Basically I'm back to my boring life. Had a brief fun in London last Tuesday but the coach journey was awful - the neck and back pain and all. did i mention the journey was longer than the duration in London itself? hmm..a smaaaaaall price to pay eh?
The interview was good, it's a panel interview. It doesn't matter anymore if I get the job or not, but it gave me some kind of self-esteem boost. I've had 4 interviews now- 2 of them were disasterous! and both of them were the one to one interview. the tension's too high and i feel so intimidated.
Okay, on a lighter note. MANGO WILL BE OPENING SOON IN NEWCASTLE! huurrrraah!! u don't know how much this means to me.(*nangis² terharu) :p as u know, Newcastle is such a small place, shopping kat Ipoh or Sungai Petani lagi best kot. or bolehkah saya samakan Newcastle dengan Bukit Mertajam? hmm.. boleh kot. hahahaha
I watched a glimpse of Grand Design last night. a couple just won their battle with the local authorities to get this one castle in Tuscany, somewhere in Europe. the castle is breathtaking, but seriously- how can u live in a rural place, in that big house with no connection whatsoever? hmm
I'm a city girl and will always be. tata, people. ;)
Wish me Luck! I will be desperately need them!
11 October 2004
I'm off to London tomorrow! still contemplating on what to do since i'm planning to stay awake all night. hmm. tomorrow and the day after will be two looooong days for me. the coach journey newcastle-london back and forth will took extra 2 hours than a single journey from london to malaysia (and no free meal), aghh..mampus kematu aku dibuatnye!
Ah..ramadhan will be starting soon enough. Which means Eid is 5 weeks away. hmm....did i told you mom gave me 3 baju kurungs this year? and she just loooves shocking colors-matches my skin katanya. but well..i didn't complain coz 1. they really do look lovely somehow. 2. they're free 3. no dry cleaning or ironing involve! yeayyy
Mom told me that i got an interview in kl- nasib baik i warned her beforehand. just hope that i won't forget to call them to put my interview on hold- if it's possible for them to do so. mm...i just got this one idea. I think i shd say that i want to go back to malaysia from now on-- so that i will get a job here (because things just CAN'T go your way kan?). erm..am i making any sense?
ok lah, got some packing and 'studying' to do. tata!
7 OCTOBER 2004
I must say this out loud: One more gaze from that maroon 5 lead singer and i might die in perahsan-ness. Haven't one of you watched the 'she will be loved' v clip? oh-mi-goddd!!! yeah, yeah i know he's cute but the way he looks at that old lady was...wuuhhh, membunuh siyal!
okay, habis puji orang for the day. I have an interview on tuesday in London! will do my very best for that one. wish me luck yeah?
Tomorrow's my encik rahman's birthday. mm..still preparing for the present. i just can't make it right- don't know why. aagghh...gerammnyee.. probably it's the sign that i should just stop making gifts myself and just buy one at the store (hmm... a pink polka-love boxer? ha-ha...)
5 OCTOBER 2004
I'm feeling so down these few days, hence the 'puting beliung ribut taufan'. I really really really don't want to go back to Malaysia for the internship. And things just can't go your way can it? when i'm so homesick- the obstacles are always there to prevent me from going home..but this time..things just go vice versa.
I'm so sick of doing nothing and i just want to break free from this stillness. and i hate to wake up in the morning just to check the mails/emails if anything comes in. all of them are just disappointments.
moody!
4 OCTOBER 2004
random bullets of the day. i'm pouring out all the negative thoughts that have been building inside. hope no one takes it personally as there are NO names involve.
* i might have to go back to malaysia. i give up!
* some people, one way or another just keep on trying to bug my life. can't they just fuck off and die??
* the most annoying thing is to hear your friend 'ungkit' the stuff that she/he tak puas hati about you just because you made some silly mistake. didn't occur to u that I might have something on my mind and things i don't like about you too? and hey, don't make me start on you!
* i don't understand people who ask questions AND never satisfied with the answers. and bring on thousands more. why bother asking anyways?
* i'm bored of people who 100% blaming others on any unsightly or undesirable things happen in their lives.
* i'm done with dealing with selfish people who doesn't even care what others gone through just because they want something. you want it, go and get it- and don't involve others!
* i loathe people who love to point out the physical flaws on others- unless they changed it themselves (ie implants). newsflash! it's GOD's creation. and plus, beauty is only skin deep.
I've made my points and i rest my case. All i need is a piece of mind.