Poetry Five

The days were dark and dreary, whether the sun was shining or not I never really paid attention to the weather as the it was always raining and dark in my home. I would hide in closets or pull the covers up above my head, just to hide from the angry words, the smell and the everyday awareness of knowing my life wasn’t normal as a child. The dark bottles you so often drank heavily each day would pour into your body as the tears would pour from my soul. How I wanted to know you, how I wanted to feel you hug me just one time with true warmth. The days seemed to go by so slowly yet in reality time had slipped away ever so quickly. The years had flown by, I never realized what I had missed as a child. I had missed knowing what it was like to have a father there each day to talk with, to hug, to love in the fullest sense. The disease had taken its’ toll on your body along with our lives. The sun shined brightly through the windows of your room as the many years of drinking had ripped your soul of its’ warm memories. You spoke of regret, pain and trouble that you had caused. You remembered, yet all through the years you never spoke a word of it. I sat and watched you wither away in front of my eyes, feeling numb. The tears began to flow again, this time in a different sense. I was bestowed a treasure too large to wrap or put a price to. Given back to me for a few mere moments, the man beneath the drinking, the warmth of a real father, the love that I had always dreamed of sharing. You gave closure with those memories that I will treasure eternally. The bottle had taken your body, yet the man beneath the disease had surfaced to show his mercy and grace. My smile was bittersweet as I was surrounded by your arms, your warmth and your undying love. I was given some of what had been taken from me for so many dark years. I was to know my beloved father, the dear and gentle man beneath the surface.