Quotes

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
-- Rich Cook

"His ignorance is encyclopedic."
-- Abba Eban (1915-)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"The average person thinks he isn't."
-- Father Larry Lorenzoni

"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."
-- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
-- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"LSD melts your mind, not in your hand."
-- Anonymous

"Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years."
-- Tallulah Bankhead

"I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen."
-- Bumper Sticker

"Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system."
-- P.J. O'Rourke

"Use of the drugs was criminal in the case of chloroform, opium, and curare; therapeutic in the case of morphine; and recreational when Holmes himself used cocaine."
-- unknown (on the role of drugs in Doyle's Sherlock Holmes series)

"Wit is educated insolence."
-- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true."
-- James Branch Cabell

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."
-- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."
-- Steven Wright

"The Americans will always do the right thing... After they've exhausted all the alternatives."
-- Winston Churchill

"America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization."
-- George Clemenceau

"I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale."
-- William Jefferson Clinton

"I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it."
-- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) when asked what his favorite song was

"Only in American banks can you find the pens chained to the counter and the doors wide open."
-- Branden Kerr

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
-- John Lehman (US secretary of the Navy)

"I would have made a good Pope."
-- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
-- Dan Quayle

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
-- Mario Andretti

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction."
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket, and do not pull it out and strike it merely to show you have one. If you are asked what o'clock it is, tell it, but do not proclaim it hourly and unasked, like the watchman."
-- Lord Chesterfield to his son

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them."
-- William Clayton

"I am but mad north-northwest; when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw."
-- Hamlet (William Shakespeare)

"If you don't know where you are going any path will get you there."
-- General Mangus

"It was reassuring to feel that everywhere throughout an infinite space, whether or not yet discovered and probed by man, every particle of matter was quietly attracting every other particle by a force proportionate to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance."
-- R.R. Palmer

"Did you know the word gullible is not in the dictionary?"
-- unknown

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move."
-- Douglas Adams (1952-)

"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
-- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
-- Churchill in reply

"Sir, you're drunk!"
-- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
"Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
-- His reply

"There are three rings in marriage. The engagement ring ... The wedding ring ... and the suffering."
-- Trevor Rook

"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing."
-- Georges Danton (1759-1794), to his executioner

"Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored."
-- George Saunders, last words

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
-- General John Sedgwick (1813-1864), last words