BEYOND

I can't make my brain
a mechanism,
can't make it
some machine,
some dishwasher,
some car.
It is more than water,
more than turning wheels,
more than can be mechanized.
I don't want my thought
to be
firing of neurons,
transfer of electrons,
nerve impulse,
constant process.
I don't want
emotions to be electric,
encoded particle patterns.
I want
strange ethereal
pseudo-being.
I want
invisible mist
that tingles between your fingers
and fingertips.
I want
thought beyond science,
beyond god,
beyond explanation.
I want
my thought
to be
beyond me,
so that
I can never understand
what it is
I think.