VOLLEYBALL GAME

I feel like some only parent,
proud of god knows what,
pointing to say "That one's mine."
Met with uninterested eyes,
I can't explain my excitement
to my own sense of reason,
of logic, or worse yet,
social justice.
It wasn't right to be proud,
to enjoy, encourage
a thing that wasn't mine
and went against another.
But... chuckles.
Just laughing it up. It was appealing to something,
the everpresent desire to gawk,
ogle, watch and giggle,
or gasp if appropriate,
to claim a part
of non-involvement,
to relate as credentials
at some later date.
But awareness of instinct
is the worst kind of curse.
It brings about a shame,
a feeling of baseness,
but it can't be avoided.
I look on and guffaw
in a very vulgar sort of way,
and no one's more aware of its vulgarity
than I am.