"That thing is a death trap on wheels, man." - Mike
"Drive it down that hill. I'll film from outside."
"...That way, you'll live." - Nate and Mike respectivly
"Can you see it in the dark?" - Blake in regards to the beast of a pimple on his nose. (It's questionable as to weather or not it's cancerous...
"Calm down." - Blake in regards to the hubub about his pimple.
"Stuff is coming out, but it's not getting any smaller..."
"I think I have aids"
"Do you have any makeup?"
"Aw, I think I got it!.... Oh! A failure."
"Ow!"
"Do you think I can push it in?
"Are you looking at me?" (to Ryan)
"Do you think it's smaller?"
- various citations of Blake during a 20 minute popping attempt on the pimple on his nose
"If we're fucking stuck again, I'm gonna fucking kick your ass!" - Blake
"What are we going to tie the couch down with?
"I've got some Christmas lights in the back..." - recourceful Ryan saves the day.
"do you watch porno with your dad?" - Nate
"No, Blake it looks good..." - A sarcastic Mike is attempt to console Blake in his pimple hardship.
"I wanna see Bill Nye the Science Guy in a porno."
"I don't." - Mike and Nate
"Shutgun!... Oh, wait, nevermind. I'll sit in the back. I have a better chance of surviving back there." - Mike
"Bill Nye and Martha Stewart!" - Mike
"The speed limit is 45, why am i going 45?" - Ryan
"if i was a pigeon i would do the same thing" - ?
"do we have enough gas? Yea of course the low fuel light means nothing, it has to be PAST empty." (as we run out of gas) - Lindsey and Ryan
"except for suzanne" - Eric, Bill, Paul, Mike, Mark, Ryan, Ryan, Josh, and Carolyn
"look at it be awesome" - Ryan (in regaurds to the van)
"this doesn't make me want to be vegan, it just makes me hungry." - Ryan
"i wish he had a curfew" - Ryan (in reguards to someone who sucks at life)
"thanks for letting me meet your lady, Ryan" - Jaime
"which one?" - Ryan (funny because they both weren't "my lady")
"your van smells like a motor boat" - Jessi
"if everyone drove like me there would never be traffic, ever." - Ryan
"the devil is the devil because he's wicked" - some crazy guy in chicago
"if beer tasted like root beer i'd be an alcoholic" - Ryan
"fucking jesus" "you are fucking jesus, man that must have some perks" - Chris and Ryan
The following are test messages i have gotten that i think are funny.
- stripper party! nine o'clock tonight. admiral theater call later for more info -
- it seems i can finally rest my head on something real. i like the way that feels. i know you can't answer but i'm listening to that song right now. makes me want to make out -
- i want to wake up next to you kissing the curve of your clavicle -
- i'll meet you at the kids section -
- i'm at the damen stop -
- sorry i called and left a drunk message so late the other night -
- just thought i's say goodnight -
- ya wanna hang out. have anything in mind? -
- i'm next to mens bathroom door. you're at fireside, right? -
- i'm partying in oak lawn tonight so call me later -
- the cs's are here -
- are we making out or what? -
- ghost tonight -
- wanna go to denny's later? -
- can't go bowling tonight but definetly tomorrow for drinking. softball and my birthday -
- hope softball was smashing... -
so maybe they weren't funny but oh well, you read them all anyway.