by Yimei Wu

Recalling the days of elementary school, I am ashamed to admit--I did not relish being born with yellow skin, black hair, yes--Chinese. It was a constant reminder of the things which set me apart from my American peers, from my natural appearance, to my attire, and taste in music. As the years flew past, my opinions changed and the desire to stand out materialized from within, replacing the need to fit in. Suddenly, I took a look at my life, and realized being Chinese isn't bad at all. In fact, as I see it now, being Chinese is something I would really hate to give up.

First of all, let's tackle the direct benefits--wearing mascara won't be such a requirement with already-black eyelashes. No one will call you "a dumb-blonde", and under the watch of our traditional Chinese parents, getting into a university is not our problem. Speaking of parents, Chinese kids have often wailed endlessly about this issue. Chinese mothers and fathers are notorious for keeping tight, tight reins on their children. And no one is allowed to disobey, for the consequences are either a choice between interminably tedious lectures, or a spanking. On the other hand, most American kids are famed for getting lofty allowances, and taming their parents by curry-favoring. The only penalty heard of is a ritual called " grounding" in which kids are banned from making calls to friends and hanging out with pals( privileges some Chinese kids would kill for--I mean--hanging out, like real teenagers!).

At Chinese School, we are also educated to treat parents with enormous respect no matter what--because they are the elders. This is called "xiao-suen". I pondered endlessly for an American word to depict this Chinese phrase, and found only a distant relative" filial piety". Smirking, I celebrated my discovery as to why American parents complain so cluelessly about their uncontrollable teens. While the majority of all Chinese children have been taught to honor superiors, our parellel American generation has never even heard of a word for it! I once mentioned it to a white-pal, and felt guilty witnessing her genuine struggles to comprehend this new concept.

Prided for our academic success, Chinese kids are the subjects of firm discipline. We are slowly contoured to a portrait of near-perfection by pressures to exceed all expectations of others. This is due to our stone-strict parents, austere teachers, and other Chinese kids we've been known to regard as rivals; competitors. How do we explain the American kids who excel? They are part of an ideal family: mom as best friend, dad as mentor, a brood of sweet siblings. Outside of home-sweet-home, a gentle, understanding teacher guides them to "find their dreams". How pretty. Unfortunately, however repugnant it is to point out, the firm, strict method seems to withstand time and produces wider ranges of outstanding scholars. Both American and Chinese students are conglomerated in a public school, but Chinese students seem to find their road leading to Stanford, Harvard or Berkeley far more frequently than the other group. It's not necessarily because they are "smarter" or "brainiacs" as certain people like to excuse them as. It's a hard life: imagine doing homework all the time, getting reprimanded by formidable teachers and parents, and worst of all , hanging out with other Chinese kids you call friends, yet view secretly as opponents. But still, we've been taught that say, Yale, is really worth it.

"Do you like Red Hot Chili Peppers, or Cranberries?" Looking up from my homework with a blank expression, I reply carefully," Actually, I prefer chicken and rice." The girl who asked me that question has politely avoided me since. I faced the awful truth, as a Chinese kid, doing schoolwork for a living has its inevitable cost. I was not "in". While the American kids chattered frivolously about their food-bands, dressed in their cool, trendy clothes, I stuck out like a sore thumb. With my favorite music as some concerto by Mozart, I took my homework everywhere as a group of us "nerds" congregated and compared the logos on our generic T-shirts. That was way back in sixth-grade. Now, I have my own distinct Chinese/Asian way of dressing, and modern R&B is more of my type of music. But I still feel as if I belong with the Chinese kids, there is more of a connection, we can relate to things better. American kids have appealed to me as extremely superficial. Many at my school select their companions by status and physical appearances, race and popularity. The small fraction of sincere American students, are the ones who are open-minded and seek our company. The same goes for Asian kids, while a large minority secludes themselves with people they prefer to" hang" with, the remainder of Chinese teenagers generally stay with other students striving to obtain success, or just people they really enjoy being with. Real friends. But regardless of what culture, the desire to have true friends definitely stems from the individual, just as eventual success stems from personal determination.