4:30 am, Monday Nov. 26th:
Study before it¡¦s too late
If you think you can procrastinate
If you let things slide and wait
Be ready for a sorry fate
Omygosh. I just made a poem. In the delirious hours of dawn, the poet within me reared her head cackled gleefully. Yet I was not in the mood to be trifled with. Another poem suddenly came to mind. It was called ¡§Tranquil Night Poem¡¨ by Li Bai, a famous Chinese poet:
Moonlight falls upon the bed
looking suspiciously like frost on the ground
I looked up to gaze at the clear moon
I looked down and recalled my old hometown
I looked up and my neck bones cracked wearily. I looked down and saw a half-finished persuasive speech due at 8 a.m. I had about four hours left. Could I make it? I mean, I was passing out every few minutes and every time I woke up it seemed like an hour went by. Plus I had to deal with smart-ass inner-poets mocking me. Oooomygosh. Wasn¡¦t there a quiz tomorrow I had to study for? Shoot. Then it hit me: Was I becoming a stressed-out individual?
What makes a stressed individual? I mean, of course we have those anal people who act stressed like, all the time (contrary to popular rumors, I am not inclusive of that group). However, there are definite signs and symptoms of stress. The period after Thanksgiving and before winter break yields plenty of procrastinated papers, presentations, and projects with their respective impending doomsdays. Thus it is a prime time to spot stressed-out individuals roaming the campus.
So what, you think. So what if they¡¦re stressed out, at least I¡¦m not.
Careful, being able to spot those unpredictable, stressed-out people could save your life.
If you don¡¦t ¡§notice¡¨ early on that your roommate hasn¡¦t showered for awhile, it could be too late by the time you start to catch on that he or she is a stressed-out individual. The toxicity in the room could rise to lethal levels and consequently lead to¡K.death. Ok, I guess that hasn¡¦t happened yet. But¡Kit could happen to YOU¡K next. Or worse, it could BE you¡Knext.
To prevent such tragedies, I, the local public-health guru, would like to offer some tips for the campus community. Here is my survival guide for this trying period:
The Wu Stress-O-Meter: This device helps you monitor the stress level of people around you and your OWN stress level. Choose the photo that best matches the person¡¦s/your latest appearance The number below is your stress level, followed by a description and suggestions.
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| You are: | 1-Relaxed | 2-Tense | 3-Stressed | 4-Very Stressed | 5-Stressed Out |
| You sleep at: | 9pm-12am | 12-1am | 1-2am | 2-3am | >4am/no sleep |
| Symptoms: | ¡PPerky ¡PHappy ¡PChill ¡PBored ¡PToo much time, too little to do |
¡PJumping when touched ¡PNervous ¡PSighing ¡PPicking at things with your antsy fingers |
¡PHair in disarray ¡PWearing glasses when you usually don¡¦t ¡PSnapping at people ¡PEyes half open |
¡PAll of the¡§Stressed" symptoms ¡PFalling asleep in class, and waking up in a different lecture ¡PSkipping even NON-diner food ¡PMessy room ¡PButt hurts from sitting too long |
¡PMad because you look ugly ¡PSad because you smell ¡PAvoiding public places to hide your nastiness |
| Advice: | Get off your butt and do something!And do NOT say ¡§I have too much time¡¨ to anyone who gets a 3 or more | Relax. Make sure you keep drinking water. It¡¦s going to be ok. You¡¦ll get through this. Everything will work out. | Breathe in, breathe out. Go do something crazy. Like, start eating again. Listen to music. Stop clenching your fists. | Whoa, you¡¦re heading into dangerous territory. Did you know sleeping after 2am gives you pimples? Whoops, I guess you didn¡¦t need to hear that. | For goodness sake, TAKE A SHOWER! You¡¦ll be doing yourself as well as your community a huge favor. |
Stressed-Out Syndrome (¡§SOS¡¨: a call for help in itself): If you see any of these tell-tale signs in a roommate, friend, or loved-one¡K..beware¡K.
¡P greasy hair matted to forehead
¡P ¡¨morning¡¨ breath that somehow lasts through noon, as well as night.
¡P a persistent growl directed at random people and objects
¡P constant whining about the lights being too bright
¡P farting in public places and not giving a damn about it, their excuse
being ¡§I¡¦ve got more important things to worry about¡¨
Hopefully with these guidelines, you will be able to monitor your own stress, and steer clear of dangerous individuals. If you know of someone with SOS, please, do your part for society. You can make a difference. Call the animal shelter.