Unless you’ve had your head buried in your books or your beer cans, you may have noticed the recent prevalence of complaints about the campus’ lack of customer service. Seniors mad about being kicked off campus. Juniors feverishly applying for South Campus Commons, for fear of ending up like the seniors. Campus parking fees draining the money in our pockets (that’s not the only thing wrong with campus parking--more on this next time). In the midst of all this, I think it’s time to reflect; meaning, it’s MY turn to whine about MY problems with this campus.
1. Housing-Parking-Tickets: What’s commonly perceived as three separate problems is actually one conglomerate problem. And what is commonly mistaken for a problem by the students is actually a solution contrived by the administration. Who says they’re indecisive? They are smart. Their task is making room for the new, “bright and talented” classes of freshmen without spending money and building new dorms or parking lots. Their obstacles are those stupid current students. Haven’t they been here long enough, eating off the diners that try so hard to make decent meals, hogging those desirable parking spaces (especially Lot 9, conveniently located by the barn)? Therefore, the first step is to start kicking them off campus. Then, to make sure they get out and stay out, hike up the cost of parking. Inevitably, there will be those die-hards. So what do we do? Let them camp-out. From the Duke-ticket-rush, the students have demonstrated they were willing, and could in fact survive in the harsh cold just to get a ticket. And if they can go to such great lengths to get a measly piece of paper, by golly, they have got to be willing to camp out long enough for their diplomas. Problem solved with a package deal. How clever.
2. Department of Campus Bathrooms: This is an appeal to the DCB. Your bathrooms are not only stinky like the rest of them; they’re also dehumanizing. Take the one on the first floor in the Stamp Student Union, for example. Sure, it’s clean enough. But I quickly figured out why. The window next to the stalls is always open. Not just a crack, but wide open, as if to showcase the elegant tiles on the bathroom wall. What are we, on exhibit? Someone thinks it’s funny for people to finish their business, walk out of the stall and have their opposite-sex friends spot them as the toilet flushes inside. And may I add, those toilets are scary. They flush when you first enter a stall, when you leave the stall, and even while you’re in the stall. No need for more details here. A small minority has already found a way to cope with this, as evidenced by footprints found on the toilet rims.
3. Hornbake Elevator: Now this sounds silly, but I have an issue with that elevator and I will bravely speak out about it. The door takes forever to close. I feel like a caged chimpanzee staring out helplessly at the people who are forced to stare back at me from the chair that happens to be right smack in front of the elevator. I have tried to break eye contact while nervously jabbing the “Door Close” button, but the damn elevator stays open for about…127 seconds.
4. The Diners: I know my friends are tired of hearing about this painful subject but I’m going to bring it up once more to raise public awareness. I always seem to get overcharged. I’m not kidding, every few weeks, I’ll get charged ten bucks for a soup and salad, or an invisible croissant. Now, didn’t the school just buy a bunch of high-tech cash registers? You’d think that the money diverted from preventing the parking hike was spent to improve something. Well, at least those new systems do a better job at ripping off students than the previous cash registers. Whereas before we would be able to see our balance on the screen, we would now have to request a receipt every single time if we wanted to see our balance. And who wants to kill more trees? No one! Thankfully, because I was born in a Chinese family, I mastered the art of haggling and would hold up the line to politely point out each mistake. Not that it isn’t embarrassing. But that willingness to withstand lunch-line humiliation is what makes the difference between those who get fairly charged, and those who get overcharged. ‘Why is she making such a big deal; it’s just diner food!’ Some people think it’s just food. But for me, this is not about getting the best dining-hall food for my meal-points. This is about asserting my rights as an Asian-American woman. Who do the diners think I am? Some submissive little Asian girl who will bite her lip and timidly leave after they leech off her meal-points? No! I will hold up the line as long as I have to so they charge me $0.99 for rice. No more, no less.
These are only the tip of the iceberg; my editor warned me not to get carried away. Just when I was going to complain about why we don’t have an Asian Cultural Center. Look, we have these white centers (aka Cole Field House, Byrd Stadium, etc), the black center (aka Nyumburu Cultural Center), so why isn’t there an asian center? Um….McKeldin Library does not count as an asian center. Nice try, thanks for the stereotype.