This is a website about someone that hurts themselves for various reasons, usually to cope with pain and deal with inner struggles. The purpose of this page is to give information to those wishing to know more about SI. Perhaps you have a loved one that you have learned is hurting themselves and would like to understand more. The intent of this page is to spread some light on this not-yet-well-known addiction (and affliction).
People injure themselves in many ways: cutting, which seems to be the most popular, burning, or beating/bruising. Some individuals have even been known to break their own limbs in their attempts to harm themselves. The method of injury is as unique as each person committing the act.
A common mistake people make when hearing about SI is that the person is wanting to committ suicide. Though suicidal thoughts may be present, rarely does a self-injurer truly want to kill themselves. In fact, injuring is sometimes a way to cause harm without going to the extreme of suicide.
Why do people SI?
You may be wondering, also, what causes a person to start self-injuring in the first place. Again, there are so many reasons. 50% of cutters were sexually abused as children. Some do so as an accident and, liking the relief it brings them, continue. Depression and low self-esteem are the main causes of beginning to cut.
People who self-injure feel relief when they hurt themselves. I know personally that my cutting was a way to bring out a pain that was only felt inside. I couldn't cope with what I felt in my mind, but by bringing it out, seeing it and feeling it - that was something I could handle and control. That was real. Self injury is an expression of pain and inner turmoil - it is a way of coping, a soothing answer to out of control feelings. People hurt themselves to feel alive, to express pain on the outside, to calm themselves.
What kind of people SI?
I self-injure, the quiet girl in your class may self-injure, the boy next door may self-injure. People who hurt themselves are not "freaks", they are not "weird" or "crazy". They have a problem and self harm is how they cope with their emotions. They are people just like you.
How can I get help?
Still, make sure that the help you seek is qualified to deal with your problem. The first therapist I told about my cutting visibly drew back with a horrified look on her face when I showed her my scars. Obviously, this person could not help me. When I decided to go for help, I was broke, living back at home, with nothing to my name. I went to a free mental health clinic set up in the city I lived in, and got the help that I needed.
However, it should be noted that I was ready to begin the process of getting better. Like alcoholism, no one can be forced into getting help. When the person is ready to face their demons and fight the battle, they will do so. For the longest time, I didn't believe my cutting was a problem. I felt it was something I had control over and could do or not do as I saw fit. If a loved one is self-injuring, let them seek help on their own or come to you to help them find help. You cannot push someone into recovery.
Get out the phone book, or look up your state's mental health department's website. Talk to other self-injurers in your area (find people online) and ask who they went to. Search and research until you find the right place and the right doctors/psychatrists to help you. Get online and visit websites, talk to others who have experienced what you're going through. It will help you to take that first step when you are ready to do so. Remember, none of this are going through this alone - no matter how much it may seem to be so.
Where can I find more info on SI?
Self Injury - Information & Resources
What is SI?
Self Injury (or "SI"), also known as self-mutilation, is the act of harming one's self to cope with extreme emotions or other overwhelming feelings.
There are any number of reasons why people injure themselves - as varied and different as can be. Feelings of remorse or guilt, extreme anger or even heavy depression can trigger an injuring incident. Different people have different and personal reasons for hurting themselves. Some believe that self-injurers do so only for attention, but that is not usually the case. As with any type of self-hurt, including attempted suicide, it is more often than not a type of distress call; a painful cry for help.
There is no set standard for people who self-injure, though the rate seems to be higher among young to middle-aged white females. Many famous people have openly admitted self-injury, (see also Famous Self-Injurers) including Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Shirley Manson of Garbage, Fiona Apple, and even Princess Diana. No one is immune to self-injury.
(Note: The above individual celebrity links take you to ruinyourlife.com, The Self Harm Community, a great website)
Thankfully, self-injury is becoming a more recognized problem. For awhile, it was not widely known about. Those who did it kept it to themselves, and seeking help was a difficult thing - doctors and psychatrists claimed it was either as simple as a cry for attention or as serious as attempted suicide. Getting help is, finally, becoming easier than it was before.
The Internet itself has a wealth of information on SI, from personal sites like this one to informative ones. Some good ones are:
The Self Harm Community
secret shame: self-injury information and support
Secret Cutting: And the Pain Behind Self Injury
ABC News article: Coping by Cutting