Now, in the article I ranted a bit about how much I dislike getting shitty gifts and named some clear examples of shitty gifts I'd gotten in the past in order to provide support for the subject of the article. I also stated (and it was totally truthful) that the reason for my profound dislike of gift-receiving was due to the fact that shitty gifts reveal the sheer and utter lack of understanding and/or caring of my likes and interests on the part of the gift-givers, namely my family members. Past thoughtless gifts had lead me down a path of bitterness and depression; I truly believed that my family just didn't give two shits and a bucket about my interests to get me something I wouldn't immediately throw in the trash basket.
Suffice to say, this Christmas saw me changing my tune and waxing poetic about the joys of gift-receiving. And no, I didn't have a revelation unto my selfish ways. I just got kick ass presents this year. Nary a shitty one in sight:
From my mom and dad
Usually these two are the ones who depress me the most; they are the givers of the famed purple leotard with yellow fringe. And yet this year they came through with flying colors and I saw the light!
Mom and Dad not only agreed to flip for the bill on two classes during the '01 school year, which is all I asked for and all I expected, but they did some thoughtful shopping for me as well:
My mother knows I am not a big expensive jewelry wearer; I like hemp braclets and seed necklaces because if I break them, I can just make another and no one laments it's loss or tells me how irresponsible I am for having lost/damaged/mutilated it. (Quick sidebar: Ever notice that mothers only bitch at you for having broken expensive stuff? I break a seed necklace that took me thirteen hours to string, and all she says it, "Things break." I break a gold bracelet that she bought for me and its, "Annette, you really need to be more careful and respectful of your things, or you'll never have anything nice in life." Go figger!)
But this Christmas, mom decided it was high time I get some classy "real" jewelry to wear to dressy events- I think it spawned from the last family wedding when an aunt exclaimed, "Whatever are you wearing twine around your wrist for? Is that ring plastic?" Who cares why she decided I needed "real" jewelry. The fact of the matter is that I got a petite, delicate gold necklace and three gold beads to put on it. Mom said she'd be giving me another gold bead for every significant event in my life. It's beautiful. I love it. It's just the kind of thing I would have bought had it ever occured to me to buy "real" jewelry.
In addition, and this is the biggun, I received a carved gold bracelet of Noah's Ark. The Ark is the center piece of the bracelet, and linked from the Ark are matched sets of lions, tigers, zebras and giraffes. Had Benicio Del Torro jumped out of the box naked and wearing a Fenster name tag, I wouldn't have been more surprised or grateful. And I'm sure I'll get more use from the bracelet, although I'm sure I could have put Benicio to work...
My mom and dad also got me some books. And book, my dear friends, are good. And these were GREAT good books. A book of poetry, bound in paper made from pressed plains grasses and wild flowers. Exquisite. Another hardbound book entitled, Thoughts from a Grandmother to her Grandchild. It's actually a journal for my grandmother to fill; when it's finished I will have a written record of my grandmother's thoughts and experiences. It's one of those things that I'll carry with me until I die. I can't wait until my grams finishes it!
From everyone else:
The rest of my presents were just as cool, if a little less expensive, and I will enjoy them all nonetheless. For instance: My cousin Jessie, my favorite blood relative by about a country mile, gave me my very own copy of Dirty Dancing. You can think what you will, but I love this damn movie, and this just happens to be the very first copy I've ever owned. Now I don't have to go to Blockbuster and rent it twice a month. It's now residing in it's place of honor, between Gone With The Wind and The Usual Suspects. I guess Clerks will just have to deal with it's lowered status...
My brother and sister (in law) were absolute gems this Christmas; my brother didn't get me a teddy bear this year. He's pretty damn lucky, too, because I would have retaliated if he had, of that you can be sure. Instead of a stuffed plush animal, I was happy to unwrap two soundtracks- for Dirty Dancing and Rocky Horror Picture Show. Who knew? The DD soundtrack is an elusive one for me, by my count this is the fifth copy I've owned of it. It gets used overly much and tends to wear out fast. This one won't ever see it's way out of my cd player, I've since decided, so it should last me quite some time! I had a damn good time doin' the Time Warp on Christmas morning, and singing, "Toucha toucha toucha touch me..." in my best Janet voice. Cool beans, man.
I also scored some movie passes, the TOOL boxed set and the Mindless Self Indulgence album. Sure, I'm retracting my statements about not liking Christmas gifts. It's now painfully apparent that I am just as greedy and lustful as everone else. And it feels damn good!
