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Action Batesy 082643
Former FBI, CIA, MI6, ATC and UTV agent Bates has risen to the rank of Colonel in the S.A.F, Singapore Armed Forces. Achieving this rank was not easy, but Col. Bates earned it by carrying out several ostensibly impossible missions.
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Click here to hear Batesy speak!
Firstly, here is Subject 082643 as he often appears in public eye, Christopher Bates, 12Q, Larne Grammar School, Larne, Northern Ireland. No-one suspects a pupil from a small, insignificant region of the world like this to be the No. 1 Assassin, Stalker and War Criminal the earth has ever seen and ever will see -
Here, we can see him as he appeared with standard FBI shades -
This is his original disguise kit, often used for stalking those who know him and could identify him -
Then of course, he regretably became a marine, where he was forced into the front line for some time before he proved his worth -
Indeed, he was present as Russian troops routed Chechens -
He even did a spell with the Scottish guard, and was present as an embarassed comrade was exposed on Remembrance Day -
Like all people, he enjoys relaxing, but never leaves his state of readiness to shot potential threats -
He has been appointed follow several key world figures during his time. One of these was former President Bill Cinton -
He was angered as he was rebuked by Queen Elizabeth II, who noticed him stalking her.
Indeed, he also followed Pope John Paul II on a World Tour, to ensure his holiness was not assassinated. Col. Bates eventually overturned 157 assassination attempts with his sniper.
His life was not all pure. Agains regulations, he terminated Father Christmas IV after he had failed to deliver the Action Man Utility Vehicle and Helicopter set Col. Bates had reqested in his letter that year. Fortunately, a new Santa was appointed shortly afterwards, to the delight of kids everywhere.
A key master of disguise, as we have seen above, Bates won Gold in the 1976 Olympics as Chinese Gymnast Bai Tsi.
Finally, I was unaware of his presence on my recent trip to Germany, but later on, upon carefully studying my holiday photographs, I spotted him in the forests of Bavaria. See if you can spot him!
So, all considered, it just remains for me to warn you not to get on the wrong side of this man, and if you need any jobs done, e-mail me at doole@mail.ru.
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