Eleni's Journal

        Eleni is a moon elf druid who follows the teachings of Rillifane Rallathil, the elven god of the woodlands.  Riddled by a bloody personal history and controlling motherly needs, she teetered with insanity, but still manages to survive.  This is her journal, as started during the "Wounds" last night in Feather Falls, where she lost her husband and son.  This is the writing of Laura, who plays Eleni.  Comments on it should be sent to her at LauraBeth2902@hotmail.com


Wedding Vows
I, Eleni, take you Einleiss
to be my wedded husband
to have and to hold
from this day forward
in joy and sorrow
in plenty and in want
in health and in sickness
to love and to cherish
until I lay you in the arms of Rillifane Rallathil


Song I used to sing to Einleiss
Thou Art Rest (to Love)

Thou art rest and quiet peace.
Thou art longing, and that which stills it.
I consecrate to thee, with my joys and griefs,
As thy dwelling place, my eyes and heart.

Enter into me and close thou,
The gates softly behind thee:
Drive other griefs from this breast,
Let this heart be filled with thy joys.

My world of sight thy radiance
Alone can illuminate.  O, fill it to the full!


        We used to call our son "our seedling".  His name was Airen and he was not yet 1½ years of age when the villagers attacked.  We watched them murder our son, and then I watched them murder my husband.  Oh Einleiss, my heart!!  Oh Airen, my starchild, my seedling!  I have been tortured and tied to a chair, left helplessly pleading in our home and set it afire.  A ferret, white as snow, came to my rescue and chewed through my bonds.  The forest beckoned me to escape from these maddened humans and join it.  I ran deep through the trees, the moon that used to be warm and gentle had turned hard and cold as ice.  I ran until I collapsed in the protection of the trees; the ferret never left my side.  I cried myself to sleep singing my son's lullaby and the song Einleiss and I would sing to each other.  Their screams still echo in my head.

Airen's Lullaby
I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
'Til the stars fall from the heavens
'Til the sun loses its warmth
As long as I'm living
My seedling you be.

        I'll NEVER forgive those monsters, those humans in Feather Falls or the Red Wizards who possessed them.  I will see them all dead!

        What will I do?  What will I say?  We grow close to their evil.  It is faint and cold, but there all the same.  These Red Wizards have no value for life; no respect for the sanctuary of the trees.  They will be stopped.  I will confront the wench responsible and before she dies at my hand, she will make those cursed humans villagers remember their atrocities.  Then I will kill them as well.  Perhaps then my husband and son can finally rest.  Perhaps then I will no longer hear their screams in my sleep.

        These Thayan Red Wizards are responsible for these disappearances.  The wench herself has her hand in it.  Not all humans are weak and easily manipulated, Rillifane only knows what's become of the poor boys.  Hopefully, once these townspeople realize how evil the Red Wizards are, they will dispose of them mightily and with vengeance unequaled by other mortals.



(added 1/9/03)
        I did it.  Kizzif cast a nightmare spell on me.   I killed my son.   I tried to kill my husband.  He won't see me.  I would beg for his forgiveness if only he would let me.  I did it.   IT WAS ME!  It was me.  It was me


        I don’t quite remember the past few days or weeks as the case may be.  I feel like I’ve been wakened from a dream.  What little I do remember is Einleiss leaving me to go find himself.  I remember praying at the grave of Airen and the dream Rillifane sent telling me not to worry about Airen, that he was with him.  I got a sense of forgiveness from that dream but I doubt I will ever be able to forgive myself.  If my husband cannot forgive me then how can I in good conscience forgive myself?  I know that Kizzif is free to inflict torment on others and that her people are looking for her to be killed.  Perhaps I should send word to Tangled Trees as a warning of her.  I remember rescuing a child and believing I was pregnant.  I remember Grunk dying and barely saving Asgar.  Then I woke up to the sound of Hope's magic harp.  The next day Hykos cast a spell to relieve me of my burden of insanity.  Insanity is the only word to describe what was happening to me.  I still do not feel completely myself.  Hykos has instructed his priests to do a very thorough pregnancy test on me. Tomorrow we leave on a quest of vengeance.  We are going to find all of the kidnappers and return them to justice as well as all the ransom used to buy the child’s freedom.


        Today we rode out.  We are given a wide berth while we travel because of Silver Back and because of the variety of species in our group.  We are one moon elf, one half elf drow, one half elf, one gnome, and two half orcs.  We will catch these fugitives and bring them to justice.  What of the justice for me though?  When will I be brought to justice?  I have wronged nature, and the family of elves, and man, and my husband, and my son…. and myself.  Why will no one bring me to justice?  Why is there no punishment for Eleni?  Was I not as cold and ruthless as those we seek now?  Why are they to be punished but I am not?


        We know where the rouge elf last made her presence felt and now it’s off to find the baron and his girlfriend.  It will be roughly a day’s ride.  Maybe less.  We will catch them and they will pay for their crimes.  Asgar is acting strangely.  He asks for fruity drinks with umbrellas and such.  Then he goes outside and beats his head into the ground.  He claims that the ghost of Grunk is haunting him and that he doesn’t want to be this way.  I would protect him if I could.  It seems no one in my traveling party wishes to right me to justice for my crimes.  Since this is the case, perhaps I will have to do it myself.  How does one go about punishing oneself?  I could sleep around and hope for the worst diseases possible.  I could drink myself silly whenever the chance arises.  I could let myself go and not worry about being healthy.  Hmmmmm, the only problem with that last one is that I would need to stay healthy enough to protect my friends and keep them healthy.  I could go looking for fights.  Basically I could start acting like an orc.  Oh dear, what would Einleiss think?  I miss him so very much.  I ache for my husband’s companionship.  There is no one who knows me better than he.  If I were to have his forgiveness then perhaps I could learn to forgive myself.


        The “Baron” was already caught before we got here.  The idiot.  He stormed the castle with hired men and his girlfriend.  He won't even take responsibility for his actions!  He believes himself to be righteous and vindicated by his blood line.  I sometimes forget how stupid humans can be.  At any rate during his execution he tried to escape and became an arrow pincushion.  While on our way out of town we made a happy discovery.  Sylman was still in town and trying to get as much money as possible before taking flight.  She is now in custody and we are taking her back to Hykos.


        While on the road back to Hykos’ place we encountered the group of mercenary types the “Baron” and his girl Sylman hired to help regain “his” true reign.  We battled them and ended up making nice with them.  Ugh.  That night (which in other words is tonight) the woodland elf appeared and attacked.  Shamil was shot with a poisoned barbed arrow and so was I.  Sylman tried to escape as we caught the rouge elf.  This elf is so cold and indifferent.  I could see myself in her.  I should be very careful lest I follow the same path she took.  I do not understand how she could do what she’s done for money.  The protection of others and vengeance would be more acceptable.  The coldness that comes with constant death would swallow me whole.


        The prisoners have been returned to Hykos, along with what ransom we could find.  We are now waiting for tomorrow when we go hunting Will and Tadius.  They have apparently hired a wizard to help them take over the temples of Tyr.  Many people will be injured and broken if they are not stopped.  On a more personal note, I am not with child.  Perhaps this is a blessing.  I would not be a worthy mother to any child.  There is proof however that I will see justice dealt to me.  I apparently have something in my blood.  Something that is not supposed to be there.  I can only assume that I have somehow contracted some sort of disease.  I have sent word to Einleiss about my health.  I look forward to his answer and whatever pain lies ahead for me.  I have earned it.


        What a day.  We defeated Will, and Tadius, and the wizard.  Unfortunately the wizard escaped and fortunately Tadius was “abducted" into a lovely hell dimension where I’m sure he will have loads of fun reaping the fruits of his labor.  I hear hell is lovely this time of year.  I have no doubt that Will should join his brother however that is not my decision to make.   We have each been blessed with a large ruby shard to spend with our rewards as we see fit.  The others buy horses, now we all have mounts.  Asgar has named his horse Fluffy.   I am beginning to wonder if he is indeed being possessed by the ghost of Grunk.  Possession is not natural and I do not find any unusual “vibes” about him.  I seem to recall something being said once about Grunk’s bow, which Asgar now carries.  Perhaps it is the bow which has caused this transformation.  Personally I think I like him better this way.


        We have received word that Taelnakah, Darious’s nephew, has been abducted.  Darious has urgently requested our presence in Tangled Tree’s to help bring him home.  We have decided to ride hard to help our friends’ family.  I think it would be best if I warn them of Kizzif, lest she in some way harms others again.  The bitch.  It is difficult for me to not let Silver Back run at full speed.  I’m sure if I were to let him do this we would soon lose the others.  Still we are making good time.


        Nothing of interest has happened today.


        Nothing of interest has happened today.


        We made it to the edge of the haunted forest tonight.  I set up my luxury pavilion for camp tonight so we could rest well.  It seems the forest remembers us as it sent out wraiths to munch on the horses.  Few things can invoke my anger like unnatural beings feasting on natural life.  I grabbed my staff and went out to meet our enemies.  For the first time in a long time I felt the burn of righteous anger and knew that Rillifane was with me in battle.  The wraiths did not touch me.  Hope was not so lucky.  The wraiths touched her for but a few brief moments before she could fight them off.  There is no amount of healing I can do to undue the damage she has received this night.  Her horse was taken.  As was Asgar's.  I must be wearing off on him.  I’ve never seen as orc so protective of another animal.  Granted it was a little difficult to watch him grieve as he was clad only in hair curlers and a sword.   I will mention that I have never seen an orc naked before and he looks to be quite… ummm… virile.  I do not think he was aware of what his body was doing during battle.  He was astounding.  I’ve never seen such an enormous “limb” on any type of male before.  I miss my mate.  I would not want to risk giving him what ever disease it is that I have in my blood though.  I do not think Asgar would mind however since it was more than likely him that gave it to me.


        Hope is going to ride with me today.  She has never ridden a dire wolf before.  I pray that Rillifane gives Silver Back patience and endurance for our ride today.  We received another message from Taelnakah's great-grandmother this morning.  It came in a little red capsule looking thing and when I opened it started screaming at us.  We sent word back that we were unaware of when she sent the message, that we had just received it, and had immediately started traveling hard to reach Tangled Tree’s to assist in finding the baby.  We also stated, rather gently I might add, that her attitude was not appreciated.  If that’s the sort of woman that Darious was raised by then it  is no wonder to me that he’s turned out as sorted as he is.


        It rained today.  We did not reach our destination as planned and therefore my poor wolven friend will have to endure another day of riding with Hope.


        Today we reached the outpost of the purple dragons, where they apparently peace bind all weapons.  We have a charter from Hykos and are therefore exempt from all weapon binding.  The guards were a little unnerving.  They kept looking at me funnily.  Did I do something in my maddened state that I shouldn’t have?  We are still on our way to Tangled Tree’s but by Rillifane we will not get there with any haste until we can get mounts for the rest of our party.  Silver
Back has bald spots in his fur from ridding with Hope!!!   She keeps falling off too.   I am trying to keep my patience, after all she is but a child.   I have got to get this girl a horse!


        Today we made it into town.  We made it before a really huge storm that is headed our way.   The sky is swollen and angry.  Like a mother about to give birth.   This is going to be some storm I can tell.  We purchased horses and got rooms.  While everyone else went to do whatever I decided to see why the Asgar of old was so infatuated with alcohol.  I went into the ugly bug or whatever it’s called and tried my hand at hard liquor.  I understand why he liked it so much.  I don’t recall how much I had to drink but I do recall the pleasant numbness that came with it.  I was so happy.  I didn't feel any pain, my mind became diffused and blissfully empty.  Somehow I woke up tied to my bed with my head felling like the storm was inside it.  Asgar came in wearing the most darling outfit I’ve ever seen him wear!  He must have remembered the time I refused to untie him from his bed in Tangled Trees because he became rather abusive and that's just not called for unless it’s under the right circumstances.  No matter what he wears or how he acts I can not get the image of his naked body and engorged ”trunk” out of my head.  I find myself wondering if it would hurt just from the sheer size of him.

(journal entry for later that evening )
        Let me start by saying that it only hurt a little the first time he entered but after that it was almost better than the buzz I’d received from the couple of Feather Falls Tea’s I’d had with him and Ralga.  He was very good and loud.  We only had time enough for one round because the town came under attack by some dire kobalds.   They were amazing little fighters.  I wild shaped into a wolf and went to do battle with the little buggers.  I saw Silver Back come into town to help in the fight and protect me, but he couldn't tell where I was because of my new form.  Once I changed back he was much relieved to see I was still living.  My animal companions and my friends are the only reasons I have to stay alive.  I healed whomever I could and took Asgar by the arm and led him back to my room for the rest of the night.  I do like a man who is vocal in his appreciation of a good tryst.



        The townsfolk appear to be in need of our assistance in defeating the dire kobalds that have been attacking them at regular intervals.  They said they would pay us for our trouble and that we were welcome to whatever treasure we find.  I would do it for free just to help keep their town safe.  They led us to a cliff face with a cave entrance to it.   We defeated a small family of ogres, set some regular kobalds free, went through a testing ground and did battle with a hobgoblin, the original dire kobald, and a kobald shaman.  I did battle with the wizard and burnt him to a crisp.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to start carrying some seeds of growing so that even when we are under ground or away from the sanctuary of the forest I can still cast the bulk of my favorite druid spells.   Tomorrow we will return to finish off the rest of the creatures that have been terrorizing the townsfolk.

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