"I want to smell."
- Mike, playing Fifth, the Minotaur Ranger who tracks
by odor
"I'm rubbing Yogi."
- Ben, for Weasel
"Would my god want me to smoke the fungus?"
- Marc, for Lizard Boy
"No, really, they look like kobalds with guns
riding carreon crawlers."
- Corey
"I rub myself down for one."
- Mike, for Fifth, using a healing salve
"Take my sword, bitch!"
- Xellorian
"Don't worry about the drow, kill the kobalds!
- Weasel
"Tumble, Tumble, Tumble, Pray."
- "Slick"
"My action, I bleed some more."
- Yogi, for "Slick"
"I've got a BIG one!"
- Lizard Boy
"He's a Weeble!
- "Slick", talking about Xellorian
"I'm busy having iced dreams..."
- Yogi, for "Slick"
"... as much as we enjoy Yogi..."
- Nick
"Tumble, stab, tumble, stab, try to get away..."
- Marie, observer, to the tune of Jingle Bells
"Uh, that hit the table."
- Ben, trying to find another reason to roll
"I get experience for that, right?"
- Ben, for his halfling scoring the night before
"Hey, I didn't get XP for sex!"
- Marc
"OK, you can now save versus death magic."
- Corey, talking about Underdark STDs
"I'm going to attempt to swing my sword."
- A remarkable well assured Marc
"Take a swim with the dead!"
- "Slick", talking about the lizard man's tribes watering
hole/ bath tub/holy area/cemetary
"I'm a changed man, so fuck you."
- Lizard Boy
"You know, I'm sick of changing alignment."
- Yogi
"I mean, what is the worst thing we could find
in a crypt?"
- Lizard Boy
"Oh yeah, psionic copper dragon ninjas..."
- Marc
"Wait, wait, wait, when I awaken, I'm not there?!?"
- Yogi, for "Slick"
"Everyone comes up, and gets a big gulp of water...
I mean AIR!"
- Corey, after we all of us swim a great distance...
"How big is my lizard?"
- Marc, as he found a riding lizard with his Animal
Friendship
"I'm going to run directly into the Albino Wyrm's
mouth."
- Adam, for Mordain
"It looks like an ooze." "Any defining features?"
- Corey, GM, then Marc
"Corey's a whore, Corey's a whore..."
- Marie, singing, after Dan said the line
"I've just got this thing for statues..."
- "Slick", explaining why he was checking to see if
the drow staute in the medusa city was male or female
"I've got a bad thought. Frisky chest on one
of these statues."
- Dan, for his Mongrel Man, in the Medusa City
"She's gettin' some tail..."
- Mark, as his lizard man is just about to be laid
by a greater medusa...
"The medusa city theme: Everybody Must Get Stoned!"
- "Slick"
"Meddling kids! If it weren't for you and that
damned lizard..."
- Alcerek, NPC that we just foiled the plans of
"What is this obsession with the mouth of big
things?"
- "Slick" to Mordain as Mordain rushed at a roper's
mouth
"Where everybody knows your name..."
- Mark, singing to "Jakob"
"That's right, we have a halfling slut..."
- "Slick"
"They'll scream my name before we leave!"
- Weasel, the halfling slut
"They rape you hard." "Yes!!!"
- Corey, then Ben (Weasel)
"Hey, I want 400 XP. Can I kill the spider?"
- Mark (Liazrd Boy), talking about the avatar of Lloth.
"I'm really high down."
- Dan
"Please miss."
- Mike (Fifth) as he throws his spear into melee between
a drow and a ghoul, targeting the ghoul.
"Can I make a roll against my ass hurting?"
- Ben (Weasel)
"I'm jumping off the upper, suspended city towards
the cliff."
- Adam (Mordain)
"I'm doing the 'fuck-you-drow' dance."
- Lizard Boy
"Pump it, pump it good."
- "Jakob" (Dan, the Mongrel Man), biting with his
new snake fangs.
"He's out cold."
- Adam, after "Slick" used his ice web spell, and
then sapped the assassin
"I strip him naked. Do I notice anything obvious
or interesting?"
- Yogi ("Slick")
"Who's god is the man?!?"
- Lizard Boy, after taking out a drow assassin, and
then taking the body to the priestesses of Lloth.
"I f*cked sh*t up and lived!" "Oh yeah, I got
f*cked and lived!"
- Weasel responds to Lizard Boy
"I cast goodberry, I mean, good'shroom."
- Mongrel-man
"It has brown fur with a white stripe." "We're
being attacked by Gizmo?!?"
- Corey, then Ben
"Do you know where you are?" "Yeah, I'm in tunnels."
- Xellorian responding to Mordain
"None of them attacked him [NPC badass with the
party]?" "No, they know better."
- Corey, responding to Dan
"It's great to be Jesus!"
- Mark, after lizard-boy heals and walks on water
"Why would I eat goblin when I have good oily
skum."
- Lizard-boy
"What's your AC?" "Worse then your mom's."
- Dan, responding to Corey
"I understand why your missing with your gun;
you're swinging at them with it."
- Dan
"Bless my fist! Bless my fist!"
- Xellorian
"Any animal, any time!"
- Dan, for mongrel-boy
"Can I roll to sleep in shadows?"
- Mike
"I swear, the floor ate my dice!"
- Nick
"Corey, there is no such thing as an attractive
member of my species."
- Dan, playing mongrel-man
"I remove that ... annoyance." "Me or my paralysis?"
- Dan, then Phil
"The liche is my friend."
- Weasel
"I've created a monster."
- Lizard-boy, after animating the dead minotaur
"You see ghoul mothers hurrying off their ghoul
children."
- Corey
Shot through the head, and your to blame."
- Corey and Yogi, both singing badly
I would be a weeble, but I'm better than you."
- Dan, to Nick
"Oh, THAT liche..."
- Xellorian, two different times
"You want me to suck you dry tonight?"
- Xellorian, the shadow, threatening "Slick"
"Xellorian, can I have your arm?"
- "Slick", talking about Xellorian's dead body
"You're walking - you should fight something."
- Corey, explaining "random" encounters in the underdark
"A demi-chi-hua-hua?"
- Mark
"[The undead city is] Full of goths and stuff
like that, you know, like Iowa City?"
- Matt, visiting the game
"Oh, that's the size of one of my balls..."
- Xellorian, talking about his copy of the coldball
spell.
"I'm going to slice open his stomach.", "Why,
because it's been a while since you've been in one."
- Adam, then Phil
"This is not the liche's ring you've been looking
for..."
- Marie (pretending to be a Jedi)
"Chi-Chi-Chi-Chia Bugbear!"
- Corey
"Yes, my lizard got bigger!"
- Lizard Boy, AKA Stink
"Spike opens a copy of Moist Caverns."
- Corey, having an NPC look at underdark porn.
"I give The Look. All mothers know The Look."
- Gabe, playing the minatour mother of Fifth.
"Oh, God can't save you from a mom..."
- Corey
"My lizard is big. My lizard bites things. I
have to pee."
- Mark
"I rule whatever way I feel like. Such is the
fluxuating nature of magic in the underdark."
- Corey's comments on the art of being a DM
"John, you're playing a cleric of what?" "I worship...
uh..." "Real devoted, ain't yah?"
- Yogi, John, the Yogi again
"Is everything scaly have intelligence?" "Yup,
hell the 'shrooms are smart."
- Jozav, the ranger, explain life in the Underdark
to Talia, the sorceress
"Bleeding is not a jelly thing."
- Corey, about Skink's fight with the champion of
Jublix, god of jellies
"Hey, has anyone seen my pants?" "You where pants?"
- Skink, the lizard man, then Karloss, the dwarven
paladin
"I just ate the underpants gnome"
- Mark, for Skink, after eating an attacking Jermalain
"I don't need random acts of violence. I'm having
fun with the silly shit."
- Corey, DM
"You let your cat out of the bag."
- Corey, about the sorceress taking her familiar from
her backpack
"Are you anyone's slave?"
- Talia
"You're less intelligent that I am, so can I ride you?
- Talia, to Skink, who was riding his "war lizard"
"Excuse me, but you do sleep, right?"
- John's cleric
"The Illithids probably have something more powerful
than a psionic slinky..."
- John
"I'm sorry Ben, but you don't have a sex drive."
"What? Hell, I want to go back"
- Corey, then Ben, who's character Weasel just embrassed
undead-hood
"I don't blame him, you're just an asshole."
- Talia
"My lizard's not here. It's twenty feet long,
so it's not in the living room."
- Mark, responding to John's question about the lizard
and the diplomatic waiting room
"I'm a dwarf." "And I'm a lizard..."
- Daschiva, failing to make his point to Skink
"Mark, take nine points of damage." "No."
- Corey, then Mark, just before something very bad
happened to Mark's character
"Can your gnome soak Agg?"
- Nick, to Phil, mixing game systems
"Goblins and Orcs and Kobalds, Oh my!"
- Slick, during an ambush
"The bullets are magical, and they're in my pants!"
"You don't wear pants."
- Mark (for Skink), then the DM Cory
"I
will be in charge of all silliness here tonight!"
- Mark, pre-game, causing all other players to prove
him wrong
"You know, he'll just get drunk, animate some dead,
you know."
- Dave, about Skink's evening plans
"My water is really good..."
- Skink (talking about his holy water)
"He went home. He was a smart lizard."
"Smarter than you, b*tch!"
- Cory (for an NPC), followed by Phil
"You wander through the happiness that is the mongrel-man
ghetto..."
- Corey