the Poo Wee Bum Farts - Lyrics to Wipe

Clean it up (Tim)
Don't leave food on the frying pan
Don't leave your tissues on the floor
Don't leave pizza on the kitchen bench
Where the kid next door could...

You made the mess
I think it's fair that you should clean it up yourself
You made the mess
I think it's fair that you should clean it up yourself

Behind the shed (Tim, Gareth)

She was born on a stormy day
When she was seven she ran away
When they found her ten years later
She was dead behind the shed
Where the ants had ate her

Why oh why did they eat that girl
Out of all the girls in the world
Was it something about her golden curls
Looking at her would have made you hurl

[vomiting sounds]

Why oh why did they eat that girl
Out of all the girls in the world
Was it something about her golden curls
Looking at her would have made you hurl

City life (Gareth, Tim)

There's a beat to the city
There's a beat to the street
It's a place where people
Come to meet
It's about all the bums in the filthy city gutters
Eating nothing but garbage and butter

Hey yeah, it's city life
And it's the pits

Watch out for the guy with the knife
And the guy with the gun
And the guy pushing drugs
And the girl pushing tongue
'Cause they want nothing
But to take your money and fun and run

'Cause hey, it's city life
And it gives me the... um... pits

The completely Mexican song (Gareth, Tim)

Spoken: Ola seniore, this is Gareth's completely Mexican song!

Burrito
Yo quiero Taco Bell
Enchilada
Sombrero, fiesta, siesta
Yoller
Adios
Ola ola
Ola ola
Ola ola!

Rev-head (Gareth, Tim)

I am a rev-head
I like to smash things
I like to drive cars
I like to drive cars
I like to drive cars
I like to repeat things three times

I like to drive cars
I like to drive cars
I like to drive cars
And then I like to smash 'em!

Are you looking at me?
Are you looking at me?

Are you looking at me?
Are you looking at me?

Strawberry (Gareth)

Strawberry
Strawberry
I need to eat a strawberry

Strawberry
Strawberry
I need to eat a strawberry

Strawberry

Strawberry

Strawberry
Strawberry
I need to eat a strawberry

Strawberry
Strawberry
I need to eat a strawberry

Strawberry

Runnin' beaut' (Tim)

I picked her up in the morning
Drove her out to the country in my ute
Pulled my handgun out of my glove box
And said "Don't you move or I'll shoot!"

Yeah, she jumped out the door
I don't see her no more
She's a runnin' beaut'

One time when I went walking
I stopped right in front of her house
Dropped a mail bomb into her mail box
And waited 'till someone came out

Yeah, she ran out the door
Her father is no more
She's a runnin' beaut'

I remember many years ago
When we had our first date
We had dinner at this fancy place
Where I broke her nose with a plate

Our love will never die
She's a runnin' beaut'

Yeah, blew her daddy sky high
She's a runnin' beaut'

Spoken: What the hell is a runnin' beaut'?

Happy family (Gareth, Tim)

I love you
And baby, you love me
It's the way that any happy
Family should be

We sit around the Christmas tree at Christmas time
And we get lots of stuff
And when it's time to sit and eat
There's lots of food and lots of drink aswell

And when we've finished eating
All our red meat and our cold chicken and coleslaw (yuk)
We get to open Christmas bon-bons
As a Christmas treat
Spoken: And they go boom when you pull 'em

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
We're a happy family
Oh yeah

Sitting around at Christmas
Underneath the good old Chrsitmas tree
Spoken: That we bought for twenty-five dollars
At the Christmas tree farm out at Cawdor

Popsicle stand (Tim, Gareth)

[instrumental]

The vegetable song (Tim, Gareth)

[mumbling and drooling]

Big bad Billy Bob (Gareth, Tim)

Spoken: Howdy my name's Billy Bob
I own a ranch in Texas
I herd all these cattle
And I brand 'em with my big long metal stick
that I poke in my fire and then I poke my goddam cattle with 'em

And I walk around in town saying "Howdy partner,
you know it's a lovely day isn't it?"
And they'll say "Sure is, Billy Bob!"

And I walk back to my ranch and I'll
and I'll go and ride my horse around my ranch
and I'll chase horses, chase horses, chase cows that is...

And the cows, they'll run 'cause they are scared of me
'cause I'm big bad Billy Bob
and I walk around with these big spurs on the back of my cowboy boots
and they'll say "Hey look, it's Billy Bob
and he's wearing those big cowboy boots with the spurs on the back!"
and I'll say "Sure is cows! You better watch your goddam hides,
'cause I'm gonna whip you boy!"

And then I get home to my family
and I beat my wife around
Oh yeah, oh yeah
I beat her around

I'll tell you what, it's a good way to get out your tension
You gather up all this tension out there on the ranch herding all these cattle
and you get home and beat your wife around
it's a great way to get rid of it

One day the policeman came around
and he said "Have you been beating up your wife Billy Bob?"
And I said "Sure have been, copper!"
And they say "Well done Billy Bob"

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Always look on the bright side of depression (Tim, Gareth)

Revenge is sweet
Undercooked meat
Freezing heat
Bring back the sun

Abstract and strange
Mad and derranged
Caught in the mange
Bring back the sun

Angel of death
Infected breath
Dangerous myth
Bring back the sun

The flags are now burning
I feel the tides turning
No point in learning
Bring back the sun

Spreading disease
As sick as you please
Red shaddowed tease
Bring back the sun

I'm so incredibly happy