When you see a hearse go by
You may be the next to die
Wrap you up in a bloody sheet
Bury you down six foot deep.
It all goes well for about a week,
And then the ground begins to leak.
The worms crawl in
The worms crawl out
They play pinochle on your snout!
They use your tounge as a diving board
and swim around your vocal cords!
They use your bones for telephones
And call you up when you're not home.
A man was walking home alone late one night when he heard a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him. Walking faster he looked back and made out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street toward him... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man began to run toward his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him... faster.. faster .. BUMP ..BUMP.. BUMP. He ran to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, slammed and locked the door behind him. However, the coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... on the heals of the terrified man. He rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in. His heart pounded; his head reeled; his breath came in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the coffin broke down the door, bumped and clapped towards him. The man screamed and reached for something, anything ...but all he could find was a box of cough drops! Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin... ...and of course ...the coffin stops!
