Season of Migration to the Stars

(Aurora, part 4)

I stole that title from a Sudanese novel by Tayyib Saleh, "Season of Migration to the North".

„Kyros, if you can‘t sit straight and eat properly, you can go to bed without dinner.“
Kyros scowled and sat up sulkily. He drowned a glass of water and let out a loud belch.
„Sorry,“ he said, grinning.
Aurora pointed to the door. „Bed,“ she said curtly.
He looked at her as if she was nuts. „What, just because you‘re in a foul mood today, you think you can order me around?“ He grabbed his plate and his cup and got up. „I‘ll be happy to go to my room, but not without my dinner, thank you very much.“
„Right,“ said Aurora, getting up as well, „we can both go to your room, and you can go over my knee and discover just what a foul kind of mood I‘m really in.“
She opened the kitchen drawer and got out the stirring spoon, her eyes not leaving Kyros‘ face. Kyros took an apprehensive look at the implement and slowly put his plate and cup down on the table again.
„Ummm... look, I‘m sorry. I guess I... I had too much sun today, or whatever. I‘ll just go to bed, okay?“
Aurora put the spoon down. „Yes, I think that‘s a really good idea. And if I were you, I‘d see to it that my lights were out in twenty minutes.“
Kyros shot her a dark look and left wordlessly.

Aurora sighed and sat down again. „Sorry for that, Frida,“ she said.
Frida shrugged. „It wasn‘t your fault,“ she replied with all the wisdom of her sixteen years. „I guess his puberty is really kicking in.“
„Yeah, and I‘m sooo looking forward to it reaching an even higher peak,“ Aurora remarked.
Frida laughed, but she looked at little thoughtful.
„What‘s up?“ Aurora asked her. „You look as if something‘s on your mind.“
„Well ...“ Frida started cautiously, „you know, you HAVE been getting a bit testy lately.“
Aurora was startled. She knew she hadn‘t been in the best mood, but she hadn‘t known that it had been so obvious.
„It‘s partly true,“ she admitted. „I haven‘t been feeling too great lately.“ She looked at Frida. „Do you think I‘ve been treating Kyros or you unfairly?“
Frida shook her head. „No, not really. It‘s just that... well, you‘ve been a bit irritable sometimes.“
Aurora smiled. „You‘re probably right. Thanks for telling me. I‘ll try to improve.“
Frida laughed. „You don‘t need a lot of improvement, you know,“ she said seriously. „You‘re a great master. And I know Kyros thinks the same, even though he doesn‘t show it.“ She pulled a face. „He thinks it would be uncool.“
Aurora shook her head. „Heavens help me through the coming years.“

Actually, it was exactly the prospect of spending the coming years here on Sitat that bothered Aurora. She didn‘t tell Frida about it, though. Frida was only sixteen, and her apprentice. Aurora didn‘t think it would be fair to bother her with her personal problems as though she was an adult and on the same level with her. Besides, Frida might feel unwanted if she learned that Aurora was secretly dreaming of getting away from here. And finally, Aurora suspected that the girl wouldn‘t really understand.

'She‘s a bit like Twain,' thought Aurora. 'Content with the way things are, as long as her basic needs are satisfied.' Aurora liked Twain, but there were things about which she just couldn‘t talk to her. Twain had this dead-end job that offered her absolutely no challenge, but she was happy with it because of the decent pay, and because the work mainly consisted of hanging around in her shady office and waiting for people to drop by and have a drink and a chat with her. Aurora would have hit the roof after three days of this. Or take the matter of men. Aurora was twenty-one now, and she was getting more and more frustrated by the issue. She would have had absolutely no trouble finding a partner, had she wanted to, but she definitely didn‘t feel attracted to any of the men available on Sitat - farmers and miners, most of them, decent people, but intellectually none of them was remotely on her level. The situation wasn‘t any different for Twain, but she didn‘t mind at all. She had already had five lovers during her three years on Sitat, all of them physically attractive, friendly and easy-going, which was everything she expected from a man. Aurora couldn‘t bring herself to adopt that attitude.

The problem was that Aurora couldn‘t just leave. She felt indebted to these people who had done so much for her. She would have to stay at least for two or three more years, until Frida and Kyros could be left in charge.

Another fact that Aurora begrudgingly had to admit to herself was that she was afraid to leave. On Sitat, she had a most respected position, and she had loads of money, compared to the low standard of the colony. On Aquitaine or anywhere else, she would be a nobody. Her savings would probably suffice to open a new shop, and Aurora knew that mechanics were needed everywhere, but she still wasn‘t sure whether she would manage to survive in the „real world“. Amargant, where she had grown up, wasn‘t the real word - there were just governement employees, everything was clean and quiet and orderly. And Sitat? Well, Sitat had sixty thousand inhabitants by now, everybody knew everybody else, and nothing ever happened. Irshad on Aquitaine, where she would probably go, had about ten million inhabitants and practically no laws, or at least nobody to enforce them. But Daylan had advised her to go there, and she knew she‘d be able to find somebody there who could teach her further, which was the thing she desired most at the moment.

The next day was really bad. They got up early and went to the mines of Xinjen, where the lift was broken. They worked for several hours, taking the thing apart, and when that was done, Aurora discovered that a part was broken that she didn‘t have available and couldn‘t fix on place. She would have to take it home, work on it there and then return. This happened sometimes, but Aurora didn‘t like it, and neither did the miners. They asked Aurora to at least reassamble the lift so that they could use it with manpower in the meantime. „Okay,“ said Aurora with a sigh, „but let‘s have a lunchbreak first.“

They had their lunchbreak at the bottom of the shaft with a couple of miners, and when they were finished, Kyros was missing. He couldn‘t have gone up, because somebody would have had to pull him up, so he had to be in one of the tunnels. And he couldn‘t be anywhere near, or they would have seen his lantern, which he had obviously taken with him. So the miners set out to search for him in the labyrinth of tunnels, while Frida and a worried and angry Aurora started reassembling the lift. Three quarters of an hour later, the search party came back with Kyros, who cheerfully told her that he had wanted to do some exploring and had apparently „got a little lost“.

Aurora closed her eyes and counted until ten, fighting the urge to spank him on the spot.
Finally, she said through clenched teeth: „You and me are going to have a very. very. serious discussion tonight about wandering off in an unknown mine. If you insist on behaving like a child, and preventing everybody from doing his work, I won‘t be able to take you on excursions like this any more. Now do me a favor, help us put this damned thing together again and DON‘T - SAY - ANOTHER - WORD.“

Kyros shuddered. It suddenly occurred to him that ambling off might not have been such a good idea after all. He had considered asking Aurora, but he had been quite sure that she would say no, using the same silly arguments as always („no time, work to do, you know what a mine looks like, they are all the same, and besides, you might get lost“). He just wanted to have a look around near the entrance to the mine! Who would have thought the tunnels would be so confusing?
He bit back an angry retort at being lectured like a child in front of the miners and decided to do what she had told him for once. One look at her dark face convinced him that anything else would be a bad idea.

Before they left Xinjen, Aurora checked her motorbike. She had thought something hadn‘t been quite right on their way to the mine that morning. What she saw didn‘t do anything to improve her mood.
„Frida,“ she asked, forcing herself to keep her composure, „didn‘t I ask you to refill the oil this morning?“
Frida stared at her with wide eyes and blanched. „Oh no... I‘m so sorry, Aurora! I must have forgotten!“
Aurora didn‘t say anything, but got the spare oil out of her tool box and handed it to Frida wordlessly. Frida bit her lip and set to refilling the oil. When she had finished, she said again in a shaking voice: „I‘m really sorry. There was so much to do this morning that it must have slipped my mind. Please don‘t be angry.“
Aurora took a deep sigh. It wasn‘t Frida‘s, but Kyros‘ fault that she was in such a bad mood. And besides, things like these really didn‘t happen to Frida very often. On the other hand, forgetting about the oil when they had a drive through all this sand and dust before them... that was a major lapse.
So she said: „I‘m not angry at you, but I‘m a little upset. There are some things I really want to be able to rely on, and this belongs to them. You will please be so kind and clean the motorbikes tomorrow, thoroughly.“
Frida nodded, very subdued. „Yes, Aurora.“
„Awww, come on,“ Kyros, who was standing next to them, said suddenly, “don‘t let her put you on a guilt trip! You know she‘s just looking for reasons to hit the roof.“
„Nonsense,“ Frida replied curtly without looking at him.
„If that was true, my dear Kyros,“ Aurora said softly, „I‘d have given you a thrashing right when you came back out of these tunnels, and I can guarantee you that you would have been unable to sit on a motorbike for the next week. Which goes to show that hitting the roof is impractical in some situations. If you want to know what hitting the roof looks like, wait until we‘re home and try to play the smartass then. You won‘t like the result.“
Kyros could see that replying to that wouldn‘t be a smart move, so he just glared at Aurora and walked over to his motorbike sullenly.

When they came to Sitat-Town, Aurora made them a sign to stop.
„I really need to take a break,“ she said. „Go home and do whatever you like as long as you stay out of trouble. I‘ll be back for dinner.“
Kyros restarted his motorbike without looking at her and drove off.
Frida said tentatively: „Errr... have a nice afternoon, then.“
Aurora laughed. „Yeah, I‘m gonna have a great time at Sitat-Town, population two hundred.“ She clapped Frida on the shoulder and said: „Hey, I‘m not mad at you. Relax. I just need a break, okay?“
„Okay,“ said Frida, sounding relieved. „See you later, then.“ She drove away.

Aurora walked into Twains office and plunged into a chair. „Hi, Twain,“ she said in a tired voice.
„Oh dear, you look as if you‘re in sore need of a cold beer,“ said Twain and went to her coolbox without waiting for an answer.
When they both had a bottle in their hands and taken the first swig, Twain asked: „What‘s up?“
Aurora shrugged. „The usual. A stupid lift was broken - my favorite - and I couldn‘t even fix it on the spot. Kyros was making a major nuisance out of himself. Even Frida got into the spirit of things and forgot to refill the oil of our motorbikes. Now I‘ve got to go home and deal with a sulking Kyros. Gosh, what a great evening it‘s going to be.“
She sighed. „I don‘t know how I‘m going to survive the next years.“
„Hey, perhaps I should answer this guy‘s letter after all and ask him to come and replace you,“ said Twain jokingly.
Aurora looked up. „What guy? What letter?“
Twain shrugged. „Oh, I get that all the time. People looking for a job somewhere in the colonies. Some are even desperate enough to try Sitat. Most are completely useless, but some aren‘t. You know when I replied to Wanda‘s request, with the result that we‘ve got our local producation of beer now instead of having to spend tons of money on imported brands?“ She raised her bottle. „Or Ishmi, the photographer? Well, this time it‘s a mechanic. I‘ve just written him a short letter saying thank you, we‘ve already got one, plus two apprentices.“
„Thank you very much for asking me about it,“ said Aurora irritably. „Have you already posted the letter, or will it only go on the shuttle next week?“
„Next week, of course,“ said Twain. „His letter came with the last shuttle. Hey, I had no idea you were actually interested.“ She fished in her dustbin for a while and finally came up, handing Aurora the letter.
„I don‘t know if I am interested or not,“ said Aurora. „I‘d feel bad about Frida and Kyros. And I‘m also a bit afraid of going away, to be honest. But no way am I gonna spend the rest of my life in this place repairing mining machines, so I‘ll thank you for not keeping information like this from me.“
„Heeey, okaaay, sorry,“ said Twain, not sounding sorry at all. „You know my opinion about going to places like Aquitaine anyway. You wouldn‘t last a week there.“
„Oh, wouldn‘t I?“ replied Aurora, annoyed. „Well, that remains to be seen.“

She scanned the letter. It was actually not from a man, but from a couple, both of them mechanics. They lived on Aquitaine and wanted to migrate to a quieter and less densely populated colony, which they thought might be a better place to raise kids. They had included references, and pictures. Aurora thought they seemed like nice people.

„Twain, I‘ve definitely got to think about this,“ she said. „I‘ll tell you tuesday, at the latest. That would be early enough to post a reply on the next shuttle. Is that okay?“
Twain raised her eyebrows. „I really wouldn‘t have thought that you‘re serious about that idea of leaving Sitat, but of course it‘s your decision. Yep, of course tuesday would be alright.“
Aurora stayed for a few more minutes to fill out an order form for a couple of spare parts and tools she needed, said goodbye to Twain and went over to the shop, where she had a chat with a few people hanging out, and bought some supplies. Finally, she mounted her motorbike and went back home.

Frida was cooking dinner. Kyros was nowhere to be seen.
„Hi Frida,“ said Aurora, „that smells delicious! Thanks most awfully.“
„You‘re welcome,“ said Frida, smiling. „Kyros went into the garden, I think.“
Aurora sighed. „I‘ll talk to him after I‘ve had a shower. How long till dinner?“
„Oh, I have to put this in the oven. One hour.“
„Okay, thanks.“

Kyros was sitting below a palm tree, looking at the ground.
He looked up when Aurora approached. „Look,“ he said abruptly, „we both know you‘re going to spank me, so just save us the talk and do it, okay?“
Aurora raised her eyebrows and looked down on him. „I‘m not going to spank you as long as I‘m not sure that you‘ve understood what it is you‘ve done wrong,“ she replied calmly. „If you don‘t want to hear me talking, maybe YOU would like to tell me about it?“
He snorted. „Give you the ‚I‘ve been a naughty boy talk‘? Really, I‘m getting too old for that one.“
There was a momentary silence. Finally, Aurora said quietly: „You know what, I‘m getting fed up with your attitude. You may feel incredibly grown-up, but at the same time you put a lot of effort into showing me how childish you still are. I‘m not going to waste my time on this as long as you‘re not even ready to acknowledge that your behavior today was less than acceptable. When you‘re willing to see sense, we can talk. Until then, do whatever you like, only do me a favor, stay out of trouble and try not to get lost again.“ She turned abruptly and walked inside.

He stared after her. This was not at all what he had been expecting. And he suddenly started to feel very uneasy about himself.
Although he had been doing his very best to hide it recently, he admired Aurora a lot. And now he had disappointed her so much that she was beyond wanting to punish him! He had sensed that she hadn‘t been very happy lately, but still she had always been patient and helpful with him and Frida, and even when she punished him, he knew it was out of love and concern. Why had he been so awful to her? He really knew he should be punished for his escapade in the mine, and though he was relieved to have escaped the spanking he had expected, it didn‘t feel right.
He didn‘t seem to be able to keep himself from provoking her. She wasn‘t all that strict - hell, she very obviously didn‘t LIKE to be strict with him, but he always tried to push his limits, although he knew perfectly well that she could be very understanding and reasonable when he approached her with his requests and complaints in a polite manner.
These were the thoughts that were going through Kyros‘ head. He was sitting under the palm tree, feeling very unhappy and confused, and had absolutely no idea what to do. When it became dark, Frida called him for dinner.

He came into the kitchen very hesitantly, looking at the ground and wishing himself on the seventh moon. To his relief, Aurora didn‘t ignore him, but she didn‘t talk to him a lot either. Well, none of them talked a lot. It was a very awkward half hour. Kyros offered to do the dishes afterwards, and Aurora thanked him politely and left for her workspace.
Frida hung back in the kitchen, taking a dish towel.
“She didn‘t spank you?“ she asked curiously.
He bit back the sharp reply that lay on his tongue. Perhaps Frida could offer advice. She wasn‘t always sympathetic with his moods, but nevertheless she was normally helpful.
So he told her about his dialogue with Aurora in the garden, and about the thoughts that went through his head now.
„I really don‘t know what to do,“ he admitted. „I feel awful. I don‘t think I can ever make it up to her.“
„Nonsense,“ Frida replied firmly. „She likes you very much, and that‘s exactly the reason why she‘s so upset about your behavior. You‘ve been outrageously stupid, and you know it. The solution is very simple. Go to her, apologize and ask her to punish you. And try to be civil about it for a change.“
He sighed. „Yeah, it sounds so easy, doesn‘t it? Unfortunately it comes down to me asking her for a big spanking. Which is not only humiliating, but also means that I‘m not going to be able to sit down for a week.“
„Yeah, well, you could have thought of that before you went on a walk in the mine,“ said Frida. „Of course you don‘t have to follow my advice. But I‘d love to hear the alternatives. Feeling rotten for the rest of your life doesn‘t sound like it.“
He stuck his tongue out at her. „The one thing I can‘t stand about you,“ he stated emphatically, „is that you‘re always so damn right with everything you say. Can‘t you be forgetful a bit more often? It felt really good to see YOU being in trouble for a change, this afternoon.“
„Very funny,“ she grumbled. „I‘m going to tremendously enjoy myself, cleaning the blasted motorbikes tomorrow morning.“

Aurora was sitting at her desk and reading the letter for the third time. It sounded as if the solution to her problems was offered to her on a silver platter. She just wasn‘t sure if it was the right thing to do. She hadn‘t missed Daylan‘s advice this much for a long time. Perhaps she should write down all her doubts and try to deal with them one by one, thinking about her feelings on them, and about what Daylan might have advised her to do?

She was just starting to make out a list, writing as the first point „Kyros/ Frida“, when Kyros timidly asked: „Aurora?“
She jumped. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn‘t heard him coming.
Looking up, she asked irritably: „Yes?“
He gulped. „Err... I just... well, I can see it‘s an inconvenient time, so I... I‘ll just come back later... or tomorrow, okay?“
He turned to leave.
“No, wait,“ she said quickly, putting the letter and the list into a desk drawer. As much as she wanted to come to a decision about this, her apprentices came first.
„What is it?“ she asked Kyros, who had turned back to face her and was staring at her apprehensively.
His hands twisted around the hem of his shirt. „I... ummm.... well, I want to apologize. For everything. For my behavior today, for wandering off, for the rude way in which I talked to you. I know I‘ve been nothing but trouble lately, and I regret that now. I don‘t know what‘s gotten into me. You‘ve got every right to be angry with me and, umm, you know, punish me. So, well, if you want to do that, umm, go ahead.“
His face was crimson, and he didn‘t dare look at her.
„Kyros, come here,“ she said softly. He looked up hesitantly and saw that she didn‘t look angry.
He approached her slowly.
She took his hands in hers. „Kyros, I know you hate to hear that, but adolescence isn‘t an easy time. And maybe I haven‘t always been easy to deal with either, lately. But trying to hurt my feelings doesn‘t help. You‘ve been acting and talking to me as if it was my only intention to make life difficult for you. But that‘s simply not the case. Even when I‘m strict with you, I‘m doing it because you‘re so important to me. Very important. And that‘s exactly why your behavior has hurt me so much.“
He chewed his lower lip. „I didn‘t mean to hurt you,“ he whispered.
„It is possible to hurt people without meaning to,“ she replied quietly. „Just by being thoughtless.“
He nodded, his eyes glued to his feet.
„Look at me,“ she said calmly. He forced himself to look her in the face. It was a difficult thing to do when he was so ashamed of himself.
„Do you understand now why you deserve to be punished?“ she asked seriously.
He drew a deep breath. „Well, first of all because I walked away in the mine without asking for permission, and knowing that I wasn‘t allowed to. And I got lost and put myself in danger and all these people had to search for me and our work was delayed. And then I was rude to you, several times.“ He added, in a whisper: „I‘m sory, really.“
„That‘s good,“ she said, now very matter-of-factly, „but you‘re still going to be punished. Do you want to do this now, or tomorrow morning?“
“Now,“ he said quickly. There was no way he was going to delay this any further.
„Very well,“ she said calmly, „then go to your room and wait for me, please.“
He nodded and left promptly.

Aurora drummed her fingers on the desk. Had somebody asked her this afternoon, she would definitely have said that what Kyros had done today warranted a solid strapping. But he had been so apologetic... He had practically waded in guilt. On the other hand, there was no question that he had to be punished. She just didn‘t really feel like spanking him - not when he was feeling so guilty already. She thought about the issue for a while longer and then got up and picked up a rubber strap that she had used on Kyros only once before. Still deep in thought, she went to Kyros‘ room.

He was sitting on his bed, looking at her anxiously and blanching when he saw the strap.
She sat down on his desk chair.
„Kyros,“ she said bluntly, „I think we both know that you deserve a very thorough spanking for your behavior today.“
He nodded miserably. „Yes, Aurora,“ he said in a small voice.
She looked at him. „I‘m glad you agree with me,“ she said. „The fact that you‘re for the first time not trying to argue with me about a punishment shows me that you‘ve actually learned something today. Tell you what. I feel you deserve a chance. If you can come up with an appropriate punishment, other than a strapping, I‘ll save your bottom this one time. Unless you WANT the strapping, of course,“ she said with a small smile.
He looked at her incredulously. „You... what...“
„I think you heard me,“ she said calmly. „And, yes, I mean it.“

Kyros ended up being grounded for four weeks, taking over all the household and garden chores for the same time, and having to clean the entire cave once.
„About time somebody does it,“ said Frida when she heard about it.
„You really think so?“ asked Kyros with a groan. „Then go ahead, help me sweep the floor.“
She shook her head, grinning. „It wasn‘t me who went to take a walk in a mine, sorry. Anyway, you‘re darn lucky you‘re able to sit today, and you know it.“
„Yeah, well, I don‘t know about being lucky,“ said Kyros with a grimace, starting to sweep the floor.

Aurora sat at her desk in the back of the cave, smiling at the exchange of words between her apprentices. She had a feeling that Kyros was starting to grow up in a way. Of course, she knew that the worst of his adolescent years were still before him. On the other hand, in the outlying colonies children grew up more quickly than elsewhere. They simply had to.

She looked at the list she had finally made. It read:

Drawing a deep breath, she called: „Kyros? Frida? Will you come here for a moment? I want to talk to you!“

The result of their talk was somewhat... unexpected. But she was glad that she wouldn‘t have to go alone.

Three months later, there was a small crowd of people gathered at the shuttle port. It consisted of Aurora, Kyros, Frida, Ari and Sindra (the new mechanics), Kyros‘ family, Twain, the governor, Cassius and several other members of the miners‘ guild.
Kyros‘ mother was sobbing and hugging her son. Frida and Twain were trying rather unsuccessfully to keep back their tears. Swindan, Twain‘s present boy-friend, put his arm around her comfortingly.

„Well, I guess we‘ve got to get going,“ said Aurora with a look at the shuttle‘s open ramp, managing a watery smile. Her stomach was doing flip-flops. She felt as if she was going to be sick.
Kyros pulled free of his mother‘s embrace and picked up his bag. He had tears in his eyes, too.
„Bye, Frida,“ he said, throwing his arms around her neck. She broke out sobbing, hugging him so hard that he was yelling in protest.
„Goodbye, Aurora,“ said Sindra warmly. „We can‘t express our thankfulness for everything you‘ve done for us.“
„Well, really, your letter came at the right moment,“ admitted Aurora. „It was a good solution for all of us - I guess.“
She said a tearful goodbye to Twain, and then it was her turn to hug Frida.
„Oh, Aurora, I don‘t want to let you go,“ the girl sobbed. „I‘ll never forget you. Never ever! Thank you for everything!“
„I‘ll be sure to write soon,“ Aurora brought out, her voice hoarse. „I know you‘ll do great with Ari and Sindra. You belong here, you know that.“
„Oh, I know,“ said Frida, trying to wipe away her tears, „I‘d just rather have you stay here as well. I‘ll be waiting for your letter!“
Aurora said goodbye to the rest as quickly as possible. Then...

... one more hug for Twain and Frida - pulling Kyros away from his mother - picking up their bags - walking up the ramp - waving one last time - and Sitat was gone from sight. Gone were the past eight years. The shuttle‘s engines started to roar. The starship was waiting for them in the orbit - waiting to take them to Aquitaine.