You're not old unless you can remember when . . .

• you went to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
• Kool-Aid and Ovaltine were the only drinks for kids other than milk.
• there were two brands of boys' sneakers.
• boys wore only leather shoes to school.
• nobody but farmers and cowboys ever wore jeans.
• it took five minutes for the TV to warm up, and there was nothing but a test pattern on late at night.
• all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.
• nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
• nobody owned a purebred dog.
• a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.
• you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
• at the shoe store, you could stand up to a big x-ray machine with your feet stuck into it and look into the viewer at the bones inside your shoes.
• Cokes came in bottles and cost a nickel and you had to yank them up dripping wet out of the lock track of a big cooler at the gas station.
• girls didn't date, wear lipstick, or kiss until late high school, if then.
• your mom wore nylons that came in pairs.
• all your teachers wore either neckties or dresses and oxfords and the women teachers had their hair done, every day.
• you went to the gas station and got your windshield cleaned, oil and water checked, and gas pumped without asking, for free, every time. And you got trading stamps to boot!
• laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes, or towels hidden inside the box.
• no family in your town had more than one phone, car, or TV set.
• any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
• it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents -- and you had to dress up, too.
• they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed -- and did!
• being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
• women were called "Mrs. John Smith" instead of their own.

Okay, be honest . . . . how many of these can you remember?