March 20, 2003

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Vrokk Beach ...

Damen appears, stepping out of the mists.

Yosannah sits on the beach, shoes at her side, arms around her knees.

Damen moves to your side quietly, "Reflecting upon the big nowhere, my love?"

Yosannah offers lightly, "Yeah. The Big No Where."

Damen settles down next to you. "What's on your mind?"

Yosannah ignores the question and asks, "How did you know where to find me? Am I that predictable?"

Damen shrugs nonchalantly. "I skimmed your trump. Would you prefer to be alone."

Yosannah shakes her head, "No. I'm tired of being alone." Her eyes linger on the water. "You can stay."

Damen nods. He sits silently next to her for a moment, weighing her mood. A hand reaches up to tuck a wisp of hair behind herr ear. "I'm glad you want me to stay." he murmurs.

Yosannah asks, voice but a murmer as well, "Where have you been?"

Yosannah closes her eyes and exhales.

Damen says "I take it by your reaction....you never got the message."

"I'm calling off the engagement, Damen."

Damen raises an eyebrow. "Why, Yo?"

Yosannah closes her eyes, obvioysly pained, "If you asked yourself that question, you'd know the anwer."

Damen looks to the sea, and it's ebbing tide. "But I'm asking you."

Yosannah offers, "I just can't. And the longer our engagement runs the more I realize it just can't work. Not the way I want it to. I'm sorry."

Damen sits mutely for a moment. A muscle in his cheek twitches slightly and then he nods, more to himself than anything else. He stands, brushing sand off of his pants and takes a step foward, toward the water where he stands in silence. Then, "Do you love me, Yosannah?"

"Without a doubt." She nods, "And please don't tell me that loving you should be enough."

Damen continues to stare out at the sea. "No, I wouldn't even presume to insult your intelligence by saying something as droll as that." A fist clenches. "But it is about perseverence."

Yosannah nods, "You're right." She burries her head in her knees, "I just don't have it in me anymore."

Damen says "And is there nothing I can do to change your mind?" He turns, regarding her. "Is this the end, my own?"

"I don't want it to be."

Damen moves to you then, falling to his knees in the sand and taking up your hands in his. "Then what must I do?"

Yosannah smiles at him, adoringly, "Oh, Damen. You're adorable."

Damen blinks. Then lifts her hands to his lips and kisses them, before turning his head to rest her fingers against his cheek.

Yosannah wets her lips and sighs, "I'm..." She shakes her head, "I have a lingering respect for what I used to be and I'm having some difficulty letting that go."

Damen looks to you, "I don't understand."

"There won't be a fairy tale for me, Damen." She chokes back a tear, "Not like this. No matter how much we wish it."

Damen nods, "But we're together, Yo. Fairytale or not we will make the best of it and carve whatever happiness we can from the bleakness that surrounds us."

"I'm not marrying you, Damen." She shakes her head, "Not with what I am now, Damen. I can't do that to a family."

Damen chuckles softly, "Marrying me isn't going to change anything.....having children....well that's a different story. And we *both* have reasons to think twice about that, Yo."

Yosannah smiles sadly, "Your notions of marriage are different then mine. I can't change that. I'm trying, but I can't."

Damen says "Perhaps. But perhaps things will change?.....in the future?"

"Maybe."

Damen says "So you will still wear my ring?"

Yosannah raises a brow, "What ring."

Damen umms, and suddenly looks very uncomfortable.

Yosannah hehs, "Yeah. Well, there you go." She nods, a little less composed, "Listen... I need to reconcile some things. I'm having a hard time letting go of things I used to cling to about my old life." She adds, "I'm not real." She laughs, "Let me say that again because I'm trying to digest it. I am not real. My old home is not real. My faith was a farce... my god."

Damen nods, listening. "You know I won't stop you from doing anything you feel you need to do. The only question I have is if you want me by your side while you regain your coherence."

Yosannah begins to break down and raises a hand to her forehead, "I don't know. Ten years of this has caught up with me and I can't ignore it. I can't marry you like this. I don't know that I'll ever be able to."

Damen contemplates that. "Well...should you want me....you know how to reach me. I'll be by your side in a heartbeat." He places a hand on your leg lightly. "I don't want you to go this alone."

Yosannah nods, "I know. But understand, I'm not asking you to leave. I'm not. I don't want to let you go - and I don't want to try and keep you either."

Damen regards her, "I'm nothing you have to do battle for, Yo. There is nothingto try for...you already have me."

"I feel sick to my stomach."

Damen wraps his arm around her, "Come home. I'll make you some soup."

"I can't. I'm going back to my Earth tonight."

Damen nods. "Want company?"

Yosannah considers, "No, thank you. I'm gonna get ready for work and go to bed." She looks to the red sky, "I'm not sure why I'm working again. There's really no point to it, but I can't help myself. God help me, I can't help myself."

Damen frowns faintly but remains silent.

Yosannah sniffles, just a bit as she stands, "You know," She asks with a forced smile, "Maybe you could take me to lunch." She holds her shoes at her side.

Damen stands up as well. He smiles, "I can do that."

Damen says "Yo.... Are we okay?"

"I don't know. But that's not your fault."

Damen frowns faintly, "I think it is partly."

Yosannah insists, "No."

Damen nods, not convinced. "So....lunch then?"

Yosannah lifts her hand to her lips and nods. She runs her fingers over her lips, regarding him for a moment. Then, she steps to him, wraps her arms around his neck and pulls his lips to hers.

Damen wraps his own arms around her, pulling her equally as close. He pauses only to murmur, "These lips seem as familiar to me as the first day I kissed you, my own. They are your own."

Yosannah's lips linger against his for a long moment. She then pulls away and offers a meek smile, "I kissed you first... but now I have to go."

Damen smiles and nods, not so quick to let her out of his arms. "Sleep well then. I'll see you tomorrow."

Yosannah tucks her shoes under her arm so she can fish about in her pocket. She locates an appropriate card, "Good night."

Damen nods, watching her fade away...