RATING: 9

HOW KENNY DIES: After making a nice run in the football game, Kenny is not only tackled, but his head is ripped off as well.

SUMMARY:
Stan gets a dog, Sparky, who turns out to be gay. Also Stan is the star of the South Park football team and they are playing their rival Middle Park, who is favored by 72. Everyone is counting on Stan, the star quarterback, to help the team beat the spread. Sparky runs away though, when he hears Stan saying he doesn't want a gay dog. Stan doesn't go to the game, but goes instead looking for Sparky. He finds him at Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Shelter. After learning the wonders of gaiety from Big Gay Al, he returns to the game just in time to throw for a touch down and for the team to beat the spread.

MEMORABLE QUOTES:

Mr. Garrison: We treat star athletes better because they're better people.

Cartman: Stan forgot to mention that his dog is a gay homosexual.

Big Gay Al: We have all sorts of gay animals here at Big Gay Al's.

Big Gay Al: Stan, tell them about us. Tell them there are gay animals here who need homes desperately.

Big Gay Al: Oh no! It's the opressors! Christians and Republicans and Nazis, oh my!