I speak to the stillness
And the night does not answer.
Sitting alone again
The city is not my friend.
In the midst of a crowd
I try to speak,
But my words fall on the sidewalk
Trampled and pushed over the curb
To be swept up tomorrow morning.
How can this happen ?
I was whole once,
Without these chains of aloneness,
But that was before I listened to the city.
She called and I left the security of home.
It is late again and in my lonliness
I go to the place where I lay my head, and cry.
In the twilight zone of sleep, something taps on my shoulder
And I smile, turning only to find -
There is nothing.
I think I hear her in the bathroom
Making familar sounds and I run there
Only to find, it is empty - like me.
I can remember all of the sounds of her,
The quiet sneeze that sounded like a cat,
The sound of static as she ran her brush through her hair.
The sounds, alive in my head, make my ears hear.
And still - nothing but stillness.
And I sit, listening for her sounds.
And it is late again,
Tomorrow a show,
Go perform,
Smile,
Do a good job,
Break a leg,
Pretend everything is all right,
Act normal.
And then later -