Reese Came to a turning point in his life! It was time for... A ROAD TRIP!! Reese and three of his closest friends, Lenny, Big Jim and Proffessor West, all piled into a van and begin a cross-country trek that would change their lives forever!! They drove through deserts, cities and rivers to uncover the true meaning of life in this dog-eat-dog and Jim-eat-cookie world of ours....

Their first stop was in Ohio, to visit the Mom & Pop's Liquor Store Drive-Thru. After they loaded up the van with their essentials, it was time to continue their journey. At the Ohio state-line their liquor was confiscated by State Police Officer,Charles the cow. They drove through the next few states without stopping for about a week. They each had time to ponder and muse about their hopes, dreams, and clean underwear in the quiet solitude of the open road. Then they ran into a bread truck! It turns out that this bread truck was from the same bakery where Reese used to spend his childhood. After a teary reunion with a pile of chocolate glaze doughnuts, the trio resumed their journey. They left Reese on the side of the road somewhere in Arizona.

Proffessor West, Lenny and Big Jim stopped at a motel one night for some much needed rest. They were very relieved not to have to hear yet another rousing rendition of "Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer" from Reese since they had left him somewhere in Arizona. After a good night's sleep and a big breakfast they were back on the road. In Texas, Proffessor West stopped to visit his daughter, Janine, and her family. Big Jim and Lenny spent some quality time alone at the local biker bar. They had a nice, relaxing knife-fight with a few polite yet high-strung gentlemen and then got drunk and had wings.

Proffessor West left his daughter after about a week and drove down to the biker bar to pick up Lenny and Big Jim. They were glad to be back on the road. They came upon this roadside deli and stopped to have a few turkey sandwhiches. Big Jim found a toenail in his but didn't mind. Lenny got carsick and had to be let out in Minnessota. The trio decided to set up camp for the night rather than leave one of their dear friends. Lenny was fine the next day and they were back on the road. The three decided to soak up some Minnessota culture and went to the nearest tourist information center. They checked out the local museums and out-houses in their efforts to learn as much as they could about Minnessota life.

Reese wandered aimlessly through the badlands of Arizona, past mountains, crevasses, and lawn ornaments to the very core of this desolate, arid wasteland. Fortunately, he had bus fare. Reese arrived in Cedar Knoll, Minnessota where he befriended a young pauper, Gus. Gus told Reese of a magical, mystical land just over the hill. If he would go there, Reese would indeed learn of the true meaning of life. Our chocolate-loving hero decided to test Gus's theory and began walking towards the horizon. He drew closer and closer to the hill. He walked for four straight days and nights before finally giving up.

When Reese returned home, a grizzly sight awaited him. He had not cleaned out his fridge before he went on his seven month road trip! Sour milk spewed out of its container like a fiery volcano! Black and green bread easily supported its own ecosystem. And then there was the cheese. The cheese, by God, the cheese!! It glowed with the brightness of its own pestulance, standing as a testiment to putridness!

After Reese moved in to his new apartment, he went to the local coffee shop. There he drank extra-large coffees for two hours. He read the newspaper, chatted to bystanders and hummed a merry tune. Just then his old friend Proffessor West walked in to the coffee shop. Reese had not seen him since the roadtrip when he had been abandoned in the Arizona desert. The exchanged brief "skunk-eye" glares and then were pals once more! I mean, its not everyday you find someone else in the city that knows how to play Chinese Checkers.

Reese moved to Ohio in late 1995. There he got a job as a wacky morning weatherman on channel VBBXWZ 67. It was a cherry assignment. He had indeed found the perfect setup to begin his plans of world domination under the Globex Corporation. Then he..... wait. Scratch that last part. He was fired from channel VBBXWZ 67 when he was caught stealing pens from the office. (Yeah that's it.) Reese was replaced by Charles, his childhood cow. He decided to move to Phoenix, Arizona in the summer of '69 where he bought a six string guitar. He was Boooooooorrnnn in the USA.... borrrrrrnnn in the USA. Actually, he was born in Canada, but I digress. Reese got a job as a stockroom boy in the local WalMart. He couldn't believe his luck! His dream had FINALLY come true!! He had at last completed his lifelong quest!! Every day was like a new gift! Then he was fired.

After losing his job at Walmart, Reese began writing his novel. It was about a German submarine captain in World War II. He got to the second page and then suffered severe writer's block. He had to be hospitalized and put into an induced coma to sustain his injuries. Things looked bleak for our hero. When his condition stabilized, Reese returned to his novel against Doctors' expressed wishes. When he finished his novel it was immediately snapped up by Peanut Publishing. They printed the work under Reese's nom de plum, Franchesca Miavaia. The novel was revered as one of the decades most defining collection of typos the world had ever seen! Reese's injuries from his bad case of writers' block had resurfaced in the form of an unhealthy rash. Just thought you'd like to know.

One December day, Reese was contacted by his old friend Lenny. Lenny was in need of two kidneys and Reese was a perfect donor. Reese couldn't possibly let his friend down. So, he agreed to the surgery and didn't mind relying on a prosthetic kidney made out of macaroni. He was happy to be of some help to his dear friend.

Reese took a job at the circus as an elephant washer. He was very good at his job and quickly rose through the ranks of the circus. Then came his big break! The human cannonball came down with a severe attack of the heebbie-jeebbies and was unable to perform. Reese instantly stepped forward to take his place. The crowd hushed as Reese climbed into the cannon and the fuse was lit. The ringmaster counted down...5..... 4....... 3...... 2..... 1...... BOOM!!! Reese sailed up through the top of the tent and over the horizon. He was never seen again. His picture was placed on many (three) milk cartons by his circus colleagues in the hopes of finding their missing star. If you have any information on the whereabouts of Reese, please email his twin brother with the details of the sighting. Your clues could bring us closer to finding Reese and bringing him to justice. He's 4'2" tall, weighs about 200lbs. and answers to the name of "Chuckles". Thank you for your help.