In the summer of 1996, one brave reporter from Modern Paranormal Furniture set out to uncover the truth about Karate Mom Magazine reporter Polly Stevens, winner of the coveted Silver Sow award. Stevens conducted an interview with a character named Reese in early 1995, and was never heard from again. Her tapes were discovered in the wooded area of Nova Scotia three months later.

MPF journalist Bobby Blair's notes were recently found in an abandoned mine shaft in Reno, Nevada. Bobby Blair has not been seen since 1996.

Day One, 7:55 AM
I packed up my things and left MPF HQ to hit the road. My editor suggested that I should find Reese first to learn the location of Polly Stevens. I decided to start by retracing Reese's last know whereabouts before his disappearance in 1996. The last recorded location of Reese, based on the Life of Reese CD-Rom, was at the Tinkling Brother's Circus in Phoenix, Arizona. After a quick number seven bacon and sausages at the MPF Cafeteria, I was off to the airport.

Day One, 12:30 PM
I arrived at the Tinkling Brother's and was met with no success. No one had seen their favorite elephant washer since his first and last shot at the human cannonball job. Since this was the last known location, I had to work backwards until I reached Polly's disappearance.

Day One, 1:45 PM
The next stop was the local WalMart, where Reese had worked briefly before writing his novel under the nom-de-plum: Franchesca Miavaia. No one at WalMart or Peanut Publishing could help me. Even the mention of Reese's novel, "The Search for Blue November", caused the editor-in-chief to run around his office like a monkey before tossing me to the curb!

Day One, 5:35 PM
A brief flight to Ohio and I was at the radio station where Reese worked for a short time, channel VBBXWZ 67. There I found nothing but an irate cow-disc-jockey named Charles. Nothing interesting that is, except pieces of a possible world domination plot under something called the "Globex Corporation". Finding nothing more, I continued on my way.

Day Two, 12:48 AM
The flight to Canada was a long one, and I was tired. It was time to check into a motel.

Day Two, 3:16 AM
Can't sleep... something outside my motel room. Too afraid to go out and check. It's coughing. BY HEAVEN, IT'S COUGHING!!

Day Two, 7:03 AM
I found another box of TV Guides outside my door. What does it all mean?!

Day Two, 8:15 AM
I arrived at Shoebox Apartments to see if anyone who lived here remembered the bizzare tenant, Reese, aka Prince Daniel Chichester, aka Reese. The landlady had no idea where he was, but asked me to take three boxes of old TV Guides in case I found him.

Day Two, 9:05 AM
My next stop was the local coffee shop where Reese was known to frequent. There I met three former friends of his sitting in the middle of the floor - Lenny, Proffessor West and Big Hungry Jim. The trio were engaged in an intense game of Chinese Checkers, but were happy to stop for a moment when I asked about the prince of Chichester.

Day Two, 11:55 AM
After hearing about Proffessor West's daughter Janine and Lenny's new kidneys, I made my way back to the airport. It was time to go to Reno, Nevada.

Day Two, 1:45 PM
En route to Nevada, eighty thousand feet in the air. I hear a strange sound outside the plane. I don't want to look but... STEWARDESS!! There's something on the wing!! Eyagh!! Oh wait. It's an engine.

Day Two, 4:37 PM
The desert is hot. Too hot. My feet are sore. Too sore. There's a dog that keeps following me as I walk. Maybe I should've brought some water, or a jeep.

Day Two, 5:87 PM
I came across these strange shapes in the middle of the desert. They're green and prickly. I won't lie to you, dear reader, I'm really afraid.

Day Two, 6:55 PM
That dog is still following me. What does it want? Why can't it just go away. Oh crap, another one of those green shapes sticking out of the sand. Who put them there?!

Day Two, 7:41 PM
I just touched one of those green things, and pricked my finger. It's getting colder. That dog is still following me. I think I'm going to die.

Day Two, 8:08 PM
Mom, dad - I want to say how sorry I am. I know how disappointed you both are at my failure to win the coveted Silver Sow award. This was supposed to be it. But now...

Day Two, 8:09 PM
There's that dog. Huh... Lookit me, I'm a dog! Whoop-de-doo! I can sniff myself! Bow wow!

Day Two, 10:12 PM
I can hear a strange sound calling me in the distance. It's beautiful, yet disgusting. What is it that compells me further? I cannot say.

Day Two, 10:40 PM
Now I can see some eerie lights up ahead. Am I going insane? That haunting melody is clearer, now. I can almost identify it. It seems to be coming from the same place as those strange lights. That dog is nowhere to be seen.

Day Two, 11:24 PM
The lights are so bright now. I hear voices. I am afraid. Is this madness? Am I dead?

Day Three, 12:47 AM
That's no strange, wailing sound - that's the singing sensation of Kathy Lee - -

--------------------------------------------MPF

Bobby Blair was never seen by human eyes again. The remains of his notes were found in a mine shaft near Fat Jimmy's Casino and Sizzler in Reno, Nevada. What has become of him, we have yet to determine.