Guaranteed un-Original

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender gives him a beer.

So the neutron says How much will that be?

For you, says the bartender, no charge!

A guy walks into a bar, and there's a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy just stares at the horse, so the horse says, Hey buddy? What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?

The guy replies, No, it's not that...it's just that I never thought the parrot would sell this place.

The first little piggie walks into the bar and says, Can I have a rum and coke? The barkeeper says, Sure. Then the little piggie says, Can I use your toilet? The barkeeper says, Go ahead.

Then the second little piggie walks into the bar and says, Can I have a rum and coke? and the barkeeper says, Okay. Then the second little piggie says, Can I use your toilet? and the barkeeper says, Go ahead.

Finally, the third little piggie walks into the bar and says, Can I have a rum and coke? Once again, the barkeeper says, Okay. Then the barkeeper says, I suppose you want to use the toilet?

The third little piggie says, No, I'm the pig that goes wee wee wee all the way home.

A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, We don't serve string in here. The string walks back out, thinks about it for a second, ducks outside and then ties himself up and roughs up one of his ends.

When he walks back in, the bartender says, Aren't you that same piece of string I just kicked out of here?

The string replies, I'm a frayed knot.

A sandwich walks into a bar.

The bartender says We don't serve food here!

So the sandwich says That's OK, I only wanted a drink.

A skeleton steps into a bar: Give me a beer and a roll of paper towels.
A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says You know, we have a drink named after you here.

The grasshopper replies You have a drink named Pete?

A man with an alligator walks into a bar and asks the bartender, Do you serve computer salesmen here?

Yes, he says.

Good, give me a beer, and my gator'll have a computer salesman!

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender says, Hey, what is this, some kind of joke?

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a drink. He hands the bartender a $50 bill. The bartender thinks a bit and hands him back a $5. Then, he figures maybe he should make some small talk, so he says You know, we don't get many gorillas in here.

The gorilla says And at these prices, you won't be getting many more of them.

If you haven't had enough, you can visit The Yahoo List of Joke Lists or Classic Internet Jokes