Impressions upon returning to Japan

“Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.” -- Alma 26:16

I feel a flood of emotions upon returning to Japan after 8 years. It’s like I’ve returned home. On my mission here, I had so many experiences, so much time to ponder, and met so many people in serving a mission here for two years that I guess it is only natural to feel so much joy upon returning. In recalling all these experiences I ponder what I have learned in the eight years since my mission and what lessons I forgot as well.

I’ve been amazed by how much I'm affected by the smells and sights. The deep fresh smell of cedar wood, and the burnt smell of incense, and the musty smell of old towns bring bring back happy memories. The sights as well: rice fields, cemetaries, little winding roads, Buddhist temples, wide riverways, towering mountains, train system, uniform-wearing kids, huddled-over old men and women hobbling along, parking garages, flood drainages, danchis (apartment complexes), udon and ramenyas (soup houses), Ito Yokado department store, old-style homes, the Japan-style church building, etc. I had forgotten how beautiful a place Japan is. I found myself in a bookstore one night, enthralled with maps, just reliving all the places I’d been. When I couldn’t sleep at night from jet lag, I went through areas of my mission, one by one, recalling experiences and people and getting less sleepy all the time.

Of course there are other sights and smells I could live without. As a missionary I learned to hate the stench of alcohol on the breath of so many men who we met on the street late at night, naively hoping that they would be interested in talking religion! Now as a businessman I find myself going to the same work parties I hated so much. Drinking is a huge part of Japanese business culture, and unfortunately, my situation is no exception. Almost every night of my trip I find myself surrounded by men getting drunk, smoking, being vulgar, and basically wasting time, and I start wondering why I’m here. I get constantly asked why I don’t drink and have to endure the compai (drinking a toast) vs. compei (“bottoms up”) discussion and all the drinking games. To be honest, my co-workers often seem worse than the Japanese men. I’m expected to participate in all these business parties and find myself longing for some personal time. I have wondered how long I can stand this situation, and wonder whether I really need to go on these business trips. But then I remember how rejuvenating it is for me to be here, and I decide to try to make these trips work. I may come back several times after all. It’s just a shame that this same place can be so uplifting yet so degrading for me.

But this trip sure has been uplifting too, with lots of spiritual lessons learned and remembered! The main lesson from my mission that I had forgotten was how much I relied upon the Lord and put my faith in Him. I’ve remembered how hard and overwhelming it was to go out there in the streets, day in and day out, and get continually humbled. But with the Lord’s help miracles occurred and the gospel was brought into people’s lives. That’s one special thing about my new situation in Seattle: I know few people and have so many decisions to make that I have a great opportunity to put the Lord first in my life. “Counsel with the Lord with all thine heart, and He will direct thee for good.”

I’ve enjoyed trying to understand and speak Japanese again after all these years. It’s been very fun to watch TV (which I couldn’t do as a missionary) and try to figure out what is being said. Speaking the language is even more of a challenge. I remember now what it was like to “shoot from the hip” and do whatever it takes with just the words I can remember to get my point across. I could just feel new synapses growing in my brain as I strained to communicate. I think that it’s important to get into challenging situations like that, because that is when you grow the most. I had fun speaking Japanese with a crowd of twenty-something’s in the Sano hotel and sharing my testimony of tithing in the priesthood class. Likewise it was a lot of fun figuring out where to go for church and which trains to get on to get there and on to our group’s meeting place in a hot bath resort town. I impressed myself by getting on all the right trains. I am recommitted to improve my Japanese. I thrive on challenges!

I’ve continued to ponder the meaning of the gospel to the Japanese people. Somehow I still feel a responsibility for bringing the gospel to them. I see so many people here, each with dreams and plans of their own, each one unique and special to our Heavenly Father, and I get overwhelmed. So few of them have the gospel yet it could do so much for them. I think I would jump at the chance to go here on a mission again. Along the same lines I’ve realized what a special opportunity I had to totally dedicate my life for two years, and got to do many things that I must accept that I’ll never be able to do again. Time is such a precious commodity. I miss those days, but I can be happy now that I had those experiences then. It’s all part of living a wonderful life, and I am thankful to the Lord for that.

One brother at church here asked me why Americans move so much and I explained that for me, it’s just the need to have lots of experiences and “do it all” in my lifetime.

I’ve realized how important it is to build and keep strong relationships. I’ve thought of all the people I met and learned to love here in Japan that I would love to talk to but have not kept in contact with for so long. Next time I’ll be more ready. Life brings us many opportunities to make special friends, but it’s up to us to keep them.

I’ve realized what a huge part of my life my Japan experience is. This will always be a special, spiritual place to me that I hope I can share with my family someday.