Regarding risks and taking them in light of the recent deaths on Chair Peak, Washington...Just a few weeks ago I was alone high on the E face of Mt. Hood, clipped to my axes, leaning out to see the terrain above and pondering whether I should tackle the 80-degree ascending traverse of sugar-snow that lay between myself and easy ground that led to the summit at >11,000 feet. Well, I knew the risk was enormous -- I was already on some of this stuff and every time I buried a tool or a boot the whole snow mass around me would seem to shudder. Looking down at 2000 feet of steep terrain with rocks, I knew that if it went, I was a dead man; Dead, the final, the end, FOR REAL. Being alone, it was clearly and completely distilled for me; there was no dramatic music in the background, no voice-over, no helicopter-angle camera shots; it would just be my puny form engulfed in a white billowing chaos, tumbling down the face...For some reason which I still cannot properly articulate, I just told myself, 'To hell with it", and went on. That simple. I just didn't care. I JUST DIDN'T CARE. It was wierd. I played a potentially leathal game of chess; each move had to be made with great care and forethought, lest all be lost in a single act...At each move I expected to suddenly feel the nauseating sensation of a sudden drop. It did not happen (if it had, I wouldn't be writing this!). I've climbed for a long time (walls, rock, ice, aid, etc.) and have never really just thrown billions of years of evolutionary instinct out the window and said "Oh, what the hell, I'll just risk it all.". Not this blatantly, anyway. There was something wanton about this decision....Stupidity? Who knows.
With regards to the two 19-year-old climbers killed in an avalanche recently on Chair Peak; I'd hate to have been those guys, and I hate to think of their families, but as my partner McRee says any time I have the slightest complaint about anything, 'Well, man, that's part of it.'. Exactly. Danger is an important element of the type of climbing / adventure I am interested in; in the alpine game, people die; really and truly, the real death, the end of it all. I'm glad I survived my first 12 years, and hope to survive many more, but if I do not, I would ask that people consider the following words;
"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."- Jack London, 1909