"You are one strange chic, " he said. "You just don't know how right you are." I thought to myself.Most people who accuse me of peculiarity think they are mocking a relatively ordinary person who has a few eccentricities. They aren't aware of my long history of idiosyncrasies.
When I was 4, I would jump into my parents bed every morning. I distinctly remember this, though I haven't the foggiest notion of what I was doing there. I do recall, however, one day when my dad stopped me from bouncing around and instructed me to watch his hand with my eyes. As he moved it around while I watched, he noticed that I had a "wandering eye" (the left one) that seemed to have a mind of its own. A few weeks later, to the cackling laughter of my sister, I donned my first pair of glasses.
Glasses on children are more common these days than they were in 1976. I looked very unusual, 3 feet tall (if that) and a pair of ½ inch thick glasses distorting and magnifying the world's view of my eyes.
I didn't know it then, but it was glimpse into my world of abnormalities to come.
Ten years after I put on glasses for the first time, the doctor said my vision had improved considerably - which is also relatively uncommon. I was able to take them off and haven't worn a pair since. I do, however, always pass the driver's eye test.
I have never been a person of common afflictions. I haven't contracted the flu in 18 years. While most children were getting the flu, I was running around, otherwise healthy, with a fever blister on my lip. I got the perfect attendance award in 5th grade. I was so humiliated that I begged mom to let me stay out of school just one day out of the year from then on. I simply didn't get sick.
I did get a lot of bloody noses. They seemed to come out of nowhere. Once, at age 5 or 6, I was sent to the nurse with one. I ignored her when she told me to tilt my head back (something you shouldn't bother doing, it only tastes horrible and slows down the clotting process). I'd had so many that I knew exactly what to do.
I've never had a cavity. But before I got braces, I had a tooth that never came in. It was stuck in my gum, twisted around sideways. I wore braces for two years. Fifty percent of that time was spent pulling that tooth into place (after surgery, no less) since my other teeth were relatively straight.
I rarely get colds - maybe once a year, if that. I have no allergies of which I'm aware. I never went through a pimple stage as a teenager. However, I continue to get the occasional cold sore. And I have this strange pigmentation thing going on in my face. I have areas of darker skin (I forget what it's called) which I have to treat with a bleaching cream. I used to look like I had a mustache. I had to insist that the darkness was skin, not lip hair.
My abnormalities are not limited to physical ailments. They spread into every aspect of my life. For instance, while most high school seniors apply to several colleges in hopes of being accepted at least once, I applied only to one college. And got in. Despite the fact that my grades and SAT scores left much to be desired. And the university to which I had applied was in a state other than the one in which I lived.
Though I've driven like a complete lunatic for 10 years, I didn't get a speeding ticket until a few months ago. And I didn't get just one, but two. Both within 3 days of each other. Probability failed me once again.
The list goes on, though further absurdities elude me at the moment. Despite the uncertainty surrounding the parade of strange afflictions which might become a part of my life, I feel comfort in the knowledge that I probably won't contract cancer or die in a car accident.
So, if you need to call me strange, feel free. I'd prefer "mysterious" but I'll take what I can get. I'd rather be a little odd than spend my life sneezing at cat hair, getting headaches, and having a mouthful of cavities.
Jen Trivia | Occasional Journal | Snapshots | Jen Mishaps | Passions | Pet Trivia
Viewpoints | Question of the Month | The Sun Face Page | Humor | Links | People Pages
