Pet Trivia



Name: Emma Louise
Nick Names: Em, Em Lem, Lem Lem, Lemmy, Emma Lemma, Emmers, Damn Dog, Stupid Animal, Bad Dog.
Birthdate: Sometime in the 1990s.
Location: Anyplace where I fit.
Favorite Food: I think Science Diet Puppy Biscuits are the greatest food on Earth. I don't like doggie treats. They just don't do a whole lot for me. Ice rules, though. Every time I hear the ice machine turn on, I go running to the refrigerator. Someone always throws me a few pieces to chew on.
Favorite Drink: Beer is great. I especially like beer when it comes in a green bottle. Mommy won't give it to me very often, though. I think she just wants to hoard it all for herself.
Favorite Toy: Whoever created the tennis ball was a genius. They are the greatest things. They don't hurt my teeth and my owner can throw them really far. I also like my tug, but even when I smack mommy with it really hard, she just yells at me. I guess she doesn't like it as much as I do.
Tricks I know: I do everything my mommy tells me. As long as I feel like it. I sit, stand, lie down, roll over, catch, play dead, do my thing, do my job, get my toys by name, get water, go eat. My owner tells me to stay a lot. I really don't like to stay. I think that if she is telling me to stay, that means there is something I am going to miss. She also tells me to "come" a lot. I don't like to do that, either. When I come, I am usually missing out on something really neat, like some other creature or some new smell.
Hates: That evil cat who seems to own this house. Loki. When people say "Peanut Butter" to me. I don't know what that means. I jump at them and bark fiercely when they say it so they will stop. I also get very angry when someone sticks their tongue out at me and goes "Pbbbbtttt". I think that is very rude, so I jump and bark at them. I also hate that Crazy woman on the corner.

Name: Loki - named for the Norse god of mischief.
Nick Names: Lok-lok, Loki-pokey, Loki-pokey-smokey, Fluffball, Lokers, Precious, Lok.
Birthdate: September 1993
Location: Anyplace that dog isn't.
Favorite Food: I think Tuna is great. I just smell it and go nuts. Mom tried to get me used to kitty treats, but I just can't tolerate that low class food. Only the best for me.
Favorite Drink: I drink water most of the time. Sometimes my owner will drink a glass of milk when I'm around. I usually take a few big gulps out of it when she's not looking. I prefer milk, but in the interest of health, I stick to water.
Favorite Toy: Toys are for children. I don't have a whole lot of use for them. Sometimes, my owner will give me a mouse toy with catnip to play with but frankly, I find that garbage revolting. I'll usually play with the mouse, though, so as not to hurt her feelings.
Tricks I know: Tricks? Are you kidding? I don't do tricks. I'll leave those mind games to that stupid dog.
Hates: The dog. And sometimes that other cat who was here before me. But mostly, just the dog.

Can You See the Little Fishies?
Name: Fish.
Nick Names: Fish, the fish, fishies.
Birthdate: Varied
Location: A 30 gallon aquarium.
Favorite Food: How would we know? All we eat is that tropical fish flake food crap.
Favorite Drink: Water. We'd like to experiment, but don't have a lot of freedom.
Favorite Toy: Toy? What is a toy? Do plants count?
Tricks I know: I don't know if you'd consider it a trick, but we know that when something walks by our house we sometimes get fed. We like to swim to wherever this person is so they will see us and, hopefully, feed us. They ususally don't, though. We're pretty bored. And hungry.
Hates: Life.

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