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In June, 1998 I have passed my one year anniversary of being diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis (heretofore mentioned as MG). I felt it time to set a page aside to let people who care know what this is that "The Tiger" is battling. I have been honored that this story - MY story was published in the newsletter of the Dallas/Fort Worth Chapter of the Myasthenia Gravis Association for the month of October, 1998!!! This is not a "whine fest", just a one-sided "discussion" between me and you. What I hope to gain from opening this up to everyone is an understanding, not only from you but from me as well. So here we go.....
First off, a brief synopsis of what MG is. It is a (sometimes) progressively crippling disease characterized by drooping of the upper eyelids, difficulty in swallowing and talking and generalized muscular weakness and fatigability; it involves some abnormality, possibly a shortage, of acetylcholine receptors at the neuromuscular junction. It is believed to be an autoimmune disease. In laymans terms, my immune system turned against my body and now my body is prevented from creating the acetylcholine needed to fire my muscles.
My story begins pretty much like the rest of my comrades in this battle, with the onset of strange symptoms that was beginning to wear me down. At first, we thought it was the results of high stressed jobs that I've held for many years. Thinking that once out of those areas of mental strain I would be able to function and breath without effort - like "normal" folk. It didn't happen. Days and weeks of constant fatigue battles began to show on my face and in my attitude in day to day things. Slowly my body began to rebel at the slightest hint of exertion. Getting out of a chair without aid was a thing of the past. It was time, Mike decreed, that we go to the doc and see what's up.
Dr. Louise Schottstaedt, a wonderfully patient and caring physician that I've ever had the pleasure to meet. She put me through a complete physical, looking for "common" ailments that could be causing these symptoms. I think when she hit my ankle with the rubber mallet and the only reaction was not from my foot (it laid there as if untouched) but on Mike's face, she knew we were dealing with something a little more complicated and she asked which Neurologist would I like to see. Enter Dr. Ryals.
Dr. Jarvis Ryals, a human version of the lovable character Papa Smurf. A Graduate of the University of Alabama and a concentious man of medicine. Devoting his time not only to those of us here in the States, but also to those less fortunate overseas. I had begun to wonder if Dr. Ryals didn't have a side line in accupuncture. For surely, as many needles he sent my way it had to be so. Enduring an EEG (to those who haven't had the pleasure, let's just say your muscles are introduced to electric shocks - and no, it doesn't tickle) was probably for me the worst of it. After that, I figured, whatever else was sent my way HAD to be a cake walk. The CAT scan was interesting. The dye used has an interesting reaction on females - I'm too polite to discuss that here. :-) A CAT Scan was needed to determine the state of my thymus. I am happy to report that my thymus is just great ( not enlarged )thank you, and is still in place. Blood tests out the wazzo, and more blood tests were taken. The results all came back as "undetermined". Finally, Dr. Ryals, who refused to accept NO for an answer, performed a Tensilon Test. If a person has MG, when injected with this Chemical he/she will feel and show the results right away. For me, I was able to stand up without assistance for the first time in almost a year. The quiet comment from Dr. Ryals "Well, I'd say that this just answered our question." Hmm, ANSWERED a question or opened up an plethora of NEW questions. This was June 10, 1997, a day for me that I'll not forget. He explained to me what this was, the rarity and the fact that it is "chronic" ie no cure yet, folks. I don't think I really took all that in. I think part of me was "relieved" that an answer was found. But the other part of me was just not going to acknowledge anything just yet.
The positive results of this test sent into motion a flurry of research. It seemed the more answers we'd find, the more questions we'd have. Finally, my inner me accepted what was and decided, which for those of you who know me, it is my nature, not to go down without a fight. I knew what would bring on the "fatigue attacks" so I would do what I could to avoid them. Pleanty of rest, proper diet, etc. I really didn't want to have to be on medication forever. Let me explain my version of a "fatigue attack". Imagine going along just dandy when all of a sudden a giant force is pressing hard on your shoulders and neck, your feet go numb and it's an effort just to breath. Vision sometimes is blurred and you're a happy camper if you can lay down if only for a half hour or so. Or perhaps a better description would be that it feels like someone has turned up the gravity - THAT's my dragon that I'm battling, the fatigue. So anyway, I was managing quite well. Family and friends were supportive and the family that held deep resentment towards me for "getting this" and almost being in a serious state of denial finally slowly accepted it and came around to my "camp". Yup, this was war, folks and circle the wagons we've got a fight on our hands. Kind of like a boxing match "In this corner, weighing in at zero pounds, but packing a punch EEEMMMMMMMM GEEEEEEEEEEEEE. In this corner, weighing in at (yeah like I'm gonna say), Terri the Tigerrrrrr. But also in "my corner" I see Dr. Louise, Dr. Ryals, Mike, numerous family and friends, all to lend a supporting hand and kind kick in te butt when needed. Without them, this battle would have been over long ago.
In January, 1998, the symptoms were becoming worse. More and more days were spent in a fatigue fog, that would not let up. In October of 1997, I had given up the hope of returning to the full-time work force and was happy to accept a part-time position with the local Public Library. A perfect job for a book nut such as myself. Finally, growing weary of not being able to really fully function, we made another trip to Dr. Louise. We talked about drug treatment and again, she wanted to send me on to Dr. Ryals. I perwuaded her to just consult with Dr. Ryals and save he and I time (yeah, I know, I'm a real "PIP" of a patient). She agreed. I totally trust Dr. Louise - literally with my life. She never just jumps into anything, always taking the time to research what treatment she is prescribing for me. She and Dr. Ryals agreed to begin the Mestinon drug. Taking only 2 pills over the day, increasing or decreasing as necessary. I was to report back to her in one month after I started taking the meds.
April 21, 1998, as I sat in the exam room with Mike waiting for her to come in. He and I discussed how much better I was compared to before I started taking Mestinon. Mike asked if I thought I could stand up without help from the chair. I said I didn't know, but didn't want to practice in case I hand only one good stand in me and I wanted Dr. Louise to see. So we waited. When she came in, she could see immediately that I was feeling better - it showed on my face. Then she cocked her head and said, "OK, do it" and I crossed my arms over my chest and STOOD! For the first time since the Tensilon Test I was able to just STAND up!!! It was an effort, I was shaky and breathing hard when I sat down...but by golly I DID it!!! Mike and Dr. Louise shared in my excitement. I was happy to be "normal" again.
I still take Mestinon, and will forever probably. Hopefully, with the grace of the powers that be, that's all I'll have to take. I know from various researches that there are some with way worse symptoms than mine, but the don't pooh-pooh me. They just accept me into their fold, and I am grateful! As I have stated on my "thoughts" page, MG has a way of altering how I'm going to get over a mounting....ALTERING - not stopping. I may get knocked down a time or two in the battle, but by-gosh I'm getting back up! And with the helpof so many who care, I am able to bounce right back and take a few good "pokes" at ol' MG myself.
I can't say enough about the support that I have been given by my family and friends. It's so difficult sometimes. People who know me and know about me, ask how I am feeling. For most, I think, it's a polite inquiry and regardless how I feel, I say "Oh, just dandy" or "I'm great". however, I'm thankful that there are people who really want to know. Thank God Mike has such big shoulders - they're great to lean on! It's disheartening to watch a "friend" high-tail it away from me when they find out I have MG. I guess they think they'll catch it??? Making up for such gouache behavour, though, are the many who have hung in there with me. Being there for me, to give Mike a break I think :o), who really want to know how I am. I'm happy to say they do outnumber the clods 2-1
Having MG has altered my course in life a little, some of the goals I have set for myself have either been shelved, discarded or rearranged in some way. That's OK. I'm still happy and comfortable with who I am. If nothing else, having this has helped me to be more compassionate and empathetic. I'm less quick to judge, and more quick to try and understand. I accept things for what they are. Not giving up, but not wishing to change things to just conform to me or my ideas.
My thanks to you who have read all of this. Who knows, there may be a time when I hear the announcer say, "and winning by a knock-out - the TIGER!!!
THYMECTOMY- As stated on our main page, we moved to the Northeast corner of the state. In so many ways this move has benefited us. One of the ways are the new doctors that I’m now seeing. Dr. Lori Smith, our family doctor, wasn’t afraid to say she wasn’t going to “touch my MG”. However, after we were settled, the MG became worse. The amount of Mestinon I was taking was fast approaching 1000 mg!!! Keep in mind, Mestinon is a good drug, but the pills I was taking came in 60 mg pills…so do the math, that’s a LOT of pills in one day. Not only did it really not help, but the side effects from the drug were becoming almost worse than the disease! So thankfully, Dr. Smith referred me to Dr. David Ewing, a Neurologist and fantastic guy! We discovered through our discussions, that Dr. Ewing was in High School in Pueblo the same time Mike and I were – so it kind of gave us an “old home” feeling as well as confidence in his ability.
UPDATE 2001
Sheesh, what a fast year. 2000 was very calm, even uneventful as MG goes, until December, that is. The week of Christmas, 2000, Mike contracted the flu. The real flu. Because of the serum shortage, he wasn't able to get his usual vaccine. So, he caught IT, and, sadly, shared it with me. Thankfully, as I've said before, I've had some terrific docs. Dr. Smith said she wasn't taking any chances, and did a flu test on me, and I had it...had it BAD. That week is really a blur, cough medicine with codene will do that to ya! However, I survived the flu, but never felt quite as strong since. I continued taking my Imuran (3.5 pills daily) and Mestinon (2 pills daily). But I was still "crashing". "Crashing", by the way means a Myasthenic Crisis. However, I wasn't aware of that. Foolish of me, I never really asked what a crisis was. So to put it briefly, I was unable to lift my arms, even to feed myself. Not that feeding was needed, because I couldn't even swallow a mestinon without it being crushed up. I was bed-ridden for 4 days, too weak to move. I had hoped it would pass, and it did, but I kept having smaller "crashes". My sis, Vickie put her foot down, as did Mike and I made an appointment with Dr. Ewing. We saw him on Monday, July 2, 2001. This was the day I actually found out that I was in crisis mode. He said it's time for (dramatic pause here) PLASMAPHERESIS. This is a short-term treatment in which several liters of blood are removed, is put in a centrifuge, and the red blood cells are returned in artificial plasma. Basically, they removed MY plasma and replaced it with what the referred to as "Pasturized Plasma". During this exchange, the number of antibodies in the blood are reduced. This sounded ok. However, I really should quit going by how things SOUND and ask for a full drawn picture. Monday, July 2 found me in the hospital awaiting a "minor" surgical proceedure where they place two tubes in my neck. One in a carotid and one in the vein. This is where the plasma is removed and replaced..daily. I awoke on Tuesday, a little frightened as I was scheduled for my first treatment. I wasn't really sure what was going to happen. Well, they took me into the dialysis room, hooked me to a machine and proceeded to pump blood out of my bod and pump new plasma and my "clean" blood back in. This process took approximately 2 hours. During the exchange, saline is also put into your system to keep the blood flowing. Needless to say, that extra water was keeping my kidneys flowing as well. Because of this process, my blood pressure dropped and in addition to becoming chilled, I became sick. I can take most things, but sick to my stomach is a weakness I admit I have. Upon returning to my room, I wasn't able to eat. The RN who administered the treatment wasn't too concerned about my nausea..to quote "you don't get sick with this procedure, so quit worrying about it". I believe she said I "earned" a "C" on my first day of treatment. What a doll! I nibbled crackers and sipped lemon-lime soda. Nothing helped. The next day, I was at my worst as a patient. I all but clung to the bed begging the nurse not to let them take me again. Again, the same RN came to get me to administer the test, basically told me to "buck up" and off we went. I returned to my room sicker than every before. That night, I was weepy. My nurse asked why and I said I was tired of being sick to my stomach. That I felt that this was a waste of time...etc., etc., etc. Like I said, I was at my worst as a patient. But THIS nurse, cared. She came in a little later and said "Of course your sick. I just read about the procedure and one of the normal side-effects is nausea!" If I could have sat up, I would have hugged her. Here was a person telling me that I was feeling what I was SUPPOSE to feel, not that I was being a nut. So the next day, my morning RN and my late night RN compared notes and wouldn't let the RN from dialysis take me without giving me something first. This was a NEW RN for the procedure as well. She even agreed that feeling sick was part of it, but not a "have to" kinda thing. She gave me a 1/2 shot of something for nausea just before I went in for the procedure. This made me sleepy, so not only was I able to not feel panic for feeling like I was going to throw up my toes, but I was able to rest during the procedure and the time went much faster. I had less anxiety all around. When the exchange was completed, she gave me the remaining nausea medicine and I returned to my room. I slept for quite a while, and woke up feeling better! I was able to eat and started to feel like my old self again. The next day we followed the same steps and I was able to come home on Friday, July 6. It was a week from hell, but thanks to caring nursing staff and a Neurologist who cares I think it was worth it. My deepest appreciation and love to my sister Vickie. She came to Greeley to stay the week with me. She was there keeping the cool rags on my head when I was so sick. For that, I will be forever grateful. As always, Mike and Chris were there to hold my hand and give me strength when I didn't think I had any left
Dr. Ewing didn’t mince words. He told me what I pretty much already knew, that the best way to attack MG was through a Thymectomy. He explained that there are two types a Radical thymectomy, which is where the breast bone is sawed open, the ribs split apart and all thymatic tissue removed, as well as surrounding tissue that the thymus’ “fingers” had managed to grow into. The other, although I can’t recall the “technical” name, involves a small cut in the notch of the throat and the thymus is removed via a tube or scope. Another way, I understand is through an incision in the side. However, in all my research I had found that although your vanity takes a beating, the Radical Thymectomy really had more success than any of the others. The Cardiac surgeon that Dr. Ewing referred me to said he wouldn’t do any other kind, because by getting the ribs spread open, there was less likely of a chance that any thymatic tissue would be missed. This is important, because in the event that even a TEENSIE TINY bit of tissue remains, then the entire surgery is wasted and the antibodies are still being produced. So, it was agreed that the radical procedure would be done on November 5, 1999.
I can’t say ENOUGH about the North Colorado Medical Center in Greeley. Never in my life have I experienced such professional, caring people in a hospital as I did there. And CLEAN? Oh mercy, you could hear shoes squeaking on the floors..and be honest, when you visited or was a patient in a hospital, how clean was it? I shudder when I think of the facilities our family members have been in in recent years. But, I digress…suffice it to say I think the Med Center and staff in Greeley is number one, tops, the best ever!!!
The surgery was a success, well I believe they got all the tissue out. I woke up in the intensive care unit, tubes down my throat (apparently I failed a breathing test) and tubes, wires and lord knows what else coming out of every part of my body. If you are a Star Trek fan, then you’ll understand when I say I was Borg for three days!!! If you don’t know Star Trek, I guess you could say I resembled a distributor cap, with all those wires and tubes. Anyway, with the perserverance of a tiger, and a healthy dose of prayer by friends, I was up and out of CCU by the third day, and into a room of my own. Where I finished my recouping for another three days and then came home.
While in the hospital, I was taken off all meds, except for Prednisone. Now, THERE is a fun drug. By the time December 1 had arrived, I was bulked up. I had great strength in my legs…well, who am I kidding, I had enough strength, that should Ahhhnold show up, I’d whoop him in an arm wrestling contest!! The dose of Prednisone was high..and the side effects were unpleasant. I am thankful I have an understanding husband and son. Because under the influence of Prednisone I became a large, nasty person! I wasn’t sure which was worse, the mood swings or the weight gain. But I was doing well. I had a bet with Dr. Ewing that I’d be drug free and maybe even in remission by my birthday on April 16.
In early March or late February, I was able to begin the weening process from the Prednisone. Because of the high dose, this took a couple of months, and by April 13, I was off the Prednisone and pretty much drug free. However, difficulty breathing forced me to return to smaller doses of Mestinon. I started at 60 mg a day. I still considered everything a success because I was at 1000 mg, and felt horrible. At 60 I was holding my own. Unfortunately, the battle isn’t over. The dragon is whimpering, but he’s not beat. The last part of May, I had to increase the Mestinon from 60 to 120 mg daily, but only as needed. You can tell when the “wall” is getting ready to fall. By wall, I mean the wall of fatigue. Not only does this suck the strength from my body, but it forces my eyes to close. I look kinda snockered and I don’t drink! If it’s close to the time I’m suppose to take the Mestinon and the wall doesn’t seem present, I will skip the dose, I’m able to skip every now and then. In addition to the Mestinon, I am now taking Imuran. 150 mg a day – or 3 pills a day. This is because I had lost a lot of strength quickly and I had a LOT of trouble breathing. I’m not sure how long I have to be on the Imuran, but I hope it’s not too long, the side effects are more serious and can be deadly.
So, the battle continues. I’m still not giving up, although it would be SO easy sometimes. In a recent MGFA newsletter, MG was referred to as “The Invisible Disease” and it is. Truly, still by looking at me, you’d not know I was ill, unless the wall has hit and my eyes are not able to stay open. Even still, I have some family that refuses to acknowledge that what I have is real and scary. It’s amazing to me that the thymectomy I had is thought by some as the same as having minor surgery. Yeah, MINOR, seven months later, and I am still fighting a fracture in my rib cage. I dunno…the scar doesn’t look very minor to me either. Yep, my vanity still smarts from this beauty of a scar, but what the hey. It gives my bod some character. I may still get the tattoo of a vine, who knows.
I DO know this, though. My faith in God has become stronger. I KNOW the power of prayer. My thanks to my sister, Vickie's sister-in-law Mayme for asking her church to pray for me on the Sunday of my recovery. It was on that very day that I was really able to get up and MOVE!
SIDE NOTEI can't stress enough how important it is that health care professionals listen to patients!!! If you find yourself in a situation where a doctor, RN, CNA, LPN, ANY health care provider won't listen, don't just give up! MAKE them listen. If they won't, for your own good, you need to find medical staff who will! I also have found that it is VERY helpful to have a family member with you at all times if possible. Vickie, Mike and Chris made sure that I was taken care of.
Well, did the plasma exchange work? It stopped the continuing flow of Myasthenic Crisis'. But it really didn't improve my strength or stamina. I still had to take a nap daily and on some days, do nothing. I again visited my Neuro. Dr. Ewing decided to have me "test drive" a different drug. It's called PROVIGIL. I spoke with my pharmacist first to get the skinny on this drug. It's a stimulant, but a very low grade one. It is used mostly for people with Narcalepsy. However, it has shown some promise for patients with MS. The first day of taking this pill, I felt a big difference. Hey man, I passed up my nap and took my son BOWLING! We bowled four games. That night, I worked the concession stand for the High School Volleyball game. The next day, I felt great! I am now on the third day of this drug, and so far the only "side effect" I can see, hmmm, well, there isn't one yet! For the record...my drug intake has increased. I now take Imuran 4 times a day (200 mg daily), Mestinon 4 times a day (240 mg daily) and I take Provigil in the EARLY morning (200 mg daily).
The darndest thing about MG is that it effects everyone differently, so what works for me, may not work for you. This page is designed to help people understand more about MG and the people it effects. As always, I love hearing from folks who find this page helpful. If you have any questions or comments, please do not hesitate to contact me at the e-mail address listed on our main page.
Update, 2003
2002 went without notice, MG-wise. The new meds worked and for the first time since 1998, I didn't meet my insurance deductible or see the docs more than once or twice. Then came 2003. After the 2002 Christmas Holiday, I began to notice a slow "strength drain". It was like I was leaking somewhere! Things came to a "head" in March. While at work, my vision blurred--cleared--blurred. My tongue and throat began to feel asleep. Luckily, I only live two blocks from my office so I made it home safely. Barely able to walk up the two small steps from the garage into the house, my breathing became more difficult. The numbness in my throat was spreading down my body. Chris helped me into bed and contacted Mike. I was in a MG Crisis again. I knew it, but this time was way worse than before. We hauled butt to Dr. Ewing. Because of my past experience with the Plasmapheresis, I opted for steroids. Knowing how much fun I had with that, Dr. E and Mike were both surprised! The catch, however, is that with MG a sudden infusion of steroids can stop us from breathing. Since breathing is something I do like to do, I agreed to be hospitalized overnight. Yee-howdy. A shot of a steroid that the nurses called "High-Octane Prednisone" and "Prednisone on Steroids" was given to me for 32 hours. I kept breating (praise be to God) and I started to feel much better. The evening after I started this treatment, I was able to march with both feet--instead of dragging them as I had the previous day. Dr. E agreed to send me home, with a prescription for Prednisone to "ween" me. I grew the anticipated mustache, and had to use nair on my fingers, but it did help. Am I 100%? Nope. And I've accepted the fact that I'll never be "Back to where I was before". I am limiting my physical activity--keeping things in perspective--as best as I can. Frustration over not being able to do the most simple things like I use to, bubbles up a lot. Now that summer is here, I know I'll not be out much in the heat as the 85+ degree days suck energy from me. My next step, if I bottom out, is Plasmapheresis again. I've gone two years, which is as long as Dr. E thought I'd go before I'd have to do it again. Hopefully, if I absolutely have to do that, it will be this year...after all, I've met my deductible this year :o( and thanks to our cold-hearted State Senators and Representatives, I may not be able to afford coverage for next year. Ah well...life goes on and so will I.
August
What a summer. I'm not sure what happened in July, I only know that the first week of August found me back in the hospital for the dreaded "oil change" of Plasmapheresis. It went so much better than the first time. The staff at the hospital couldn't have been nicer, nor better prepared for this task. Only one day did I "sink" and become ill from the exchange. Perhaps this experience will lead me to not be afraid any longer. I was admitted to the hospital at my very lowest and weakest since the dragon got a hold of me. I had an unexplained rash as well. Tests were done on my first day in the hospital and came back positive for West Nile Virus. Odd thing, after my second treatment, the rash was gone and I began to feel stronger. Perhaps Plasmapheresis could be used in the treatment of the severe cases of West Nile? If so, it'd be nice to know that I was able to help others in some way.
Update, 2004
I've given up on trying to work and live with MG. I left my wonderful job at our Church as I could no longer concentrate as I needed to. Working on the computer for more than 10 minutes every two hours is more than enough for me as I have severe migraines from my ocular nerves not tracking correctly. I've applied for disability in April 2004--a rough pill to swallow for sure. I was turned down, of course. Their nice letter acknowledged that "although you have severe trouble breathing, double and blurred vision, the inability to walk/stand/sit for great lengths of time and can no longer control your bowels, you are still able to work at something". Hmm, anyone know of a good job that will allow me to work about 20 minutes a day, every other day? Oh, and they need to understand when I soil myself....sheesh, what boneheads. Ah well, I've had to contact an attorney and appeal. As of December 31, I've still heard nothing. The last week of December found me back in the hospital for the ol' "oil change". This was a very positive experience. Mike and I figure that by the time I'm 90, we should have it all down to a science with minimal discomfort! Now if they could just find a way to do the exchange without the Quinten Catheter in my neck....we'd be in fat city!!!
I look forward to 2005 with cautious anticipation. If I keep on my current course, I'll not have to be in the hospital until 2006. Mike and I will celebrate our 25th Anniversary in July of 2005. I look forward to having the strength to enjoy myself. I know I will, God hasn't let me down yet!
Update, 2006
I was able to go a bit longer, this time. My last "oil change" was in December 2004. It enabled me to enjoy our 25th Anniversary Cruise to Alaska. But I still waited a bit too long to suit Dr. Ewing and my body. I went to hospital the first week of May, 2006, for another 4-day treatment. They have new machines now especially designed for this process. This was WONDERFUL news, as the time spent draining and refilling my body of blood and plasma was cut back a lot. I was only hooked up for a little over an hour! I can't say enough about the staff at North Colorado Medical Center they treat me like royalty every time. This trip went best so far. I didn't get sick, but I did feel more tired. Sadly, it seems the Pheresis didn't "take" like usual, and I'm afraid that I will be going back in before the year is out--or Dr. Ewing will be putting me on stronger immunosuppresants. This does not look good for "quickie" 4-day fixes. I think, and I hope I'm wrong, that my next visit to Greeley will be for 6 or 7 days. Ick, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Update on SSI. I WON!! Finally, it took hiring an awesome attorney and an appeal in front of a judge for an hour and 45 minutes, before I was "deemed ill". I think my cause was helped when I began to have trouble breathing on the stand. The judge asked me if I was having problems (duh) and I said yes, then he issued a bench ruling in my favor. God bless him! I still have to "resubmit" in 2007, but hopefully, that will only entail getting Dr. E's signature on the form. Seriously, I'm not sure what part of "incurable" folks do not understand...and I mean not just any folks, but family too. But, I believe the simple definition is CAN NOT BE CURED. Oh well, I continue to pray for my fellow mgers, who contact me. I ask that you continue to pray for them too. But also, could you please pray that folks on my side of the family begin to understand that I ain't lazy, it's not possible to "suck it up". I am sick..honest, geeze do I need a Dr's note to my own family? I'd give up my cane and wheelchair in two shakes if I thought that was all it would take to make me "normal" again. God's peace, hope to update ya next year!
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