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Rules For Feet
by Will Brown
Covers Blisters and Other Foot Ailments

Will Brown shows both his ultramarathoning experience and sense of humor in this blister advice.

1. No matter how bad it looks, leave it alone if it doesn't hurt much.

2. If it hurts enough to bother you when you run, consider self-surgery.

3. If you think you know what's causing the pain, proceed with surgery. If you haven't a clue, leave it alone for a while longer. The cause may surface, or the pain may go away.

4. Make sure someone else is home when you begin surgery

5. Consider the use of whiskey as part of the pre-op procedure. It can steady the hands.

6. Cease surgery if you draw blood, except for draining blood blisters.

7. If bleeding does not stop in a reasonable period of time, see Rule 4 to get to the emergency room.

8. Do not tell emergency room staff that the wound was "self-inflicted". That rattles them, especially if you have whiskey on your breath.

9. Clean and sterilize your instruments after you return from the emergency room. Any leftover whiskey will do the job nicely.

My favorite instruments for foot surgery are a double edged razor blade, a pair of large toe nail clippers, and a serrated steak knife. There's not much I can't do with those. I've only been to the emergency room once in 25 years of practicing self-podiatry, so I must be doing something right. :-))


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