Please read his ongoing saga.
Dear Walter,
I really enjoy your writing. I have a link to your site, I have probably introduced at least 2 or 3 new readers to your site. Keep up the good care of your grandfather!
Yours Truly, Alan Forbes
Walter Miller wrote:
Alan, I thank you immencely for your kind note, and also for linking to me. Yes, its nice notes like youres that makes it all worth it. Where is your link?? Your freind, Walter Miller
And He Wrote Again...
Dear Alan,
Aw shucks. thanks so mutch for the kind words. Alls I can say is that the Forbes familly is ALLOT less dysfuntionnol than my familey. Your note realy made my day.
Thanks agian,
youre freind,
Walter Miller
Howdy!
dear Forbes familly,
thanks so mutch for the kind link pagges abuot me. I will include you in the Site That Linlks To The Waltrer Miller Home Page Site Of Th Day when i update it agian--somthime in febuary, and i will let you know.
Thanks
agian,
your freind,
Walter.
From: "Walter Miller"
To: Forbes Family
Subject: an appollogy
Date: Fri, 27 Mar 1998 05:15:00 PST
dear Alan,
(and all the forbs)
I do sinceareley oppollogize that i have not got my site that links to the Walter Miller Home Page of the Day thing up yet. I know I said i woud, but as you can see i am swamped with mail, and also stuff at work.
What allot of peoplle forget is that I am a real person with many things i have to do--including takkin care of the old smelly bastord. But when i do updatte it, i will include your link,
Sorry agian,
and tak care,
Your freind,
Walter Miller P.S.--thanks for the kind words abbout my failed dates in your last note to me.
From: "Walter Miller"
To: Forbes Family
Subject: Re: Forbes Family Page
Date: Mon, 06 Apr 1998 06:11:02 PDT
Dear Alan,
sorrey this is late--you will be pleased to know that your gentol kick to my lazy ass is what got me to updatte my page. Many thanks agian. Plus, you may of set a reccord as far as a high score.
My tacky form lettor followws below; please pass it along to all the Forbses:
----------
Thanks for the link to me--I am linking to you back.
CONGRADULATOINS!
One of your pages was just sellected as the The Site That Links to the WALTER MILLER HOME PAGE Site of the Day, or
S.T.L.T.T.W.M.H.P.S.O.T.D.!!!! (but its not REALLY updated each day).
I even wrote a little paragragph about your site. This is a huge award for you, becuase in the past 3 years ive linked to less than 100 sites.
You can check it out at:
http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/Prairie/9179/links.htm and then click the link for early 1998--your link is off of that page.
Be sure to read the ABBOUT section too:
http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/Prairie/9179/sig.htm
...which includdes selection critteria (how you were chosen), and also a very ugly, uniqely crappy text-only icon for placement on your page.
(The icon is VERY crappy and you may choose not to use it--if you dont I wont mind.)
I get thuosands of hits a day so your site shoud be gettin more hits.
Plus, "Walter Miller's Home Page" was called "consistantly the funniest site on the internet" by PC Magazine, so allot of peoplle are looking, beleive me.
You are VERY lucky cause I almost never link to anyone.
Congradullations again!
Your freind,
Walter Miller
LATEST First Quartor 1998 SELLECTIONS
Folks, these links covor the whole First Quartor of 1998...Janaury...Febuary....March...Yes, and even a little peice of Apirl. How fitting for my pittiful failing inabillity to keep promises, meet deadlines, and generaly take charge of my life?
Poorselfimage Boost Relevency: 110%
No, theyre not rellated (I dont think so) to rich, deceased Malcom Forbes, or his flat-tax, flatly scare-the-hell-out-of-you-with-his-frighting Tales-Of-The Crypt -smile son and Presidentiol-hopeful Steve Forbes.
These Forbses not only have a regulor link to me, (above), but a speciel Page just for me here.
I love these folks so mutch i feel as if I too am a membor of the Forbes Family. (I hope that dosent gross them out considering that I am rellated to Granfather).
ALSO: Notice our new cattegory of "110%" for 1998: You can just about be asurred a 110% rating on the old Self-Image meter
anytime you put up a whole separate page in tribute to my misorable life.
We Wrote:
Thank You Walter, You are right, we are not related to the
Malcolm/Steve Forbes Family. Georgia, Juliet and I are happy to be associated with a fine young man like yourself (though Juliet is too young to read your column). Juliet is going through a "scary man" phase and Grandpa might be too much for her right now. Our regards to you and your family. Keep up the good work.
Alan Forbes
From: "Walter Miller"
Dear alan,
its a pleasure to link to you. I wanted to make clear that you werrent rellated to the othor Forbes becuase i didnt want readers who woud see your page after reading my link to be hitting you up for cash.
Your freind,
From: "Walter Miller"
Sorrey to take a month to respond, (Ive been swamped with email), but annyways, my birthday is: July 4th, 5th and 6th -- Yes, I was a very long skinny baby. Also, FYI, just like Bart Simpson, i stay the same age all the time, and so was 20 this year as i was last year.
Thanks agian for writting,
From forbesfamily@hotmail.com Sat Sep 12 13:02:55 1998
Following an unfortunate experience trying to upgrade to WIN 98, I am requesting that you send me your DOB (so I can put it in my reminder book), and your current address and phone number.
Thank You
PS Walter, I realize you may not want to give out this info, but maybe your birthday?
To: forbesfamily@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Forbes Family Page
Speakking of going thru a 'scary man' stage: I am still going thru mine.
Walter
Your freind,
Walter Miller
So go read about Walter's Life. You will laugh, you will cry, you will experience the gamut of human (and inhuman) emotions. Walter is a nice guy in a tough situation and needs your support. You'll also see why his Web Site is one of the best on the WWW.