Good Boy! 
I'm a really good boy, I am, I am And that's no adolescent sham I don't like parties, I don't like to dance The reason I'm here was all up to chance
I was  sitting alone in my flat Not smoking or drinking there  I sat When lo and behold I went into a trance And ended up here in this bar Just by chance
I do not like to drink you see All that booze was forced on me I know it was me that bought That beer can But the bartender here is such a wicked man He tempted and teased with his power Whispering about happy hour And being a thrifty man, you see I bought a beer and got one for free
I really don't like to drink you know But the Beer sat here with nowhere to go So being a thrifty man you see, I bought 3 beers and got 3 for free!
I'm a really good boy, I am, I am And that's no adolescent sham I do not believe in premarital sex So it isn't my fault I ended in such a vex I saw this girl in the bar Who asked if I had a car She had a small dress you could hardly see It did all these strange things to me She made me do strange things I'd rather not tell A girl like that is going to hell I had no choice in the matter you know She forced me to have intercourse
I'm a really good boy, I am, I am And that's no adolescent sham Iv'e never in my life smoked pot But Iv'e chewed it quite a lot It makes quite a nice spice in apple pie And my cakes always rise quite high I have very strong morals Like Iv'e said And drug users ought to lose their head Hang them out until they are dry And see how they enjoy that high Iv'e never used coke to drink And only sniff it to help me think I'm a good boy and love my Mom I never do anything wrong.

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