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You are outward bounder
"In many so-called primitve cultures it is a requirement of tribal initiation to spend a lengthy period alone in the forests or mountains, a period of coming to terms with the solitude and nonhumanity of nature so as to discover who, or what, one really is -- a discovery hardly possible while the community is telling you what you are, or ought to be. He may discover for instance, that lonliness is the marked fear of an unknown which is himself, and that the alien-looking aspect of nature is a projection upon the forests of his fear of stepping outside habitual and condidtioned patterns of feeling. There is much evidence to show that for anyone who passes through the barrier of lonliness, the sense of individual isolation burst, almost by stint of its own intensity, into the "all feeling" of identity with the universe."
-- Alan Watts, Nature, Man, and Woman
"Solitude is a silent storm that breaks down all our dead branches. Yet it sends our living roots deeper into the living heart of the living earth.
Man struggles to find life outside himself, unaware that the life he is seeking is within him.
Nature reaches out to us with welcome arms, and bids us to enjoy her beauty; but we dread her seilence, and rush into the crowded cities, there to huddle like sheep fleeing from a ferocious wolf."
-- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
"To sit in solitude, to think in solitude with only the music of the stream and the cedar to break the flow of silence, here lies the value of the wilderness."
-- John Muir
First we learned
how to walk uphill with the aid of the ice axes.
First sideways, then downhill (I
have no idea what this is supposed to mean). Then we learned how to "self
arrest" -- stopping yourself yourself when you've
started an uncontrollable fall downhill. We got to
practice falling which was actually quite fun. I
didn't even mind the cold snow. After a couple of
hours, we stopped and sat down on the rocks. Somehow
we got into a conversation with Kara about her
religion, which is Mormon. Lee was just fascinated
by the "laws" of her religion -- no sex before
marriage, no drinking, etc. He was teasing her (in a
cute way) and asking questions about Joseph Smith
(the Church founder). We all listened to Kara
explain it for a while, then we started hiking back
to camp. Kara & I stayed together in the bck and
talked about all kinds of stuff. We talked about our
views on politics, abortion, and our future career
aspirations. It was pretty cool. We got back and
ate lunch. Becky was feeling a little bit better. We
were goin to begin the solo part of our course that
evening, so we had alot of safety topics reviewed
that day. While we were eating we look up our first
aid topics that we were assigned to with a partner.
After lunch, we all formed a circle and presented
our topics. Markian went over every item in the
first aid kit carefully, including a small bottle of
clove oil that was supposed to be for toothaches.
Markian told us that on his previous course, some
kids took the bottle with them on solo and got a buzz
from it. I looked over at Lee and he looked back at
me mischeviously. After we got the first aid kit
presentation, we got a quick lesson in CPR. The we
were picked partners (kara), and given a "diagnosis"
to act out and have the other person guess what the
problem was. One of us had to lie down on the ground
and pretend to be in a semi-conscious state while the
other one asked questions to figure out the
diagnosis. Next we started talking about Solo,
since we were beginning it that evening. At our
first resupply, we had been given mini one-person
Solo tarps. We were each given to small packets of a
Gatorade-type of mix that contained electrolytes (for
energy). Next we were given the option of taking a
very small hand-sized bag of gorp (raisins & peanuts)
if we wanted to. I was going to decline, but at the
last minute I changed my mind and I chose to take it,
and so did everyone else except I think for Mark. It
was really not anything anyway, worth maybe one
little snack. The point, we were told, was that food
was one of the many distractions in our lives. Solo
was an opportunity at reflection, with no
distractions present. We were not allowed to bring
books to read, and even knives to do some wood
carving with. Next we were told how when we were
dropped off at our solo sites, they would give us a
designated place (a rock) to leave a note once a day
saying that we were okay. This was called a caren
note. After the talk about solo was over, Markian
and Sara went to go break their campsite and left us
to break ours. Lee wanted that bottle of clove oil
and he actually took it. We were cracking up. We
broke camp and began what was supposed to be a
simple, one mile hike on a trail. Of course, we
messed it up. We got to a point where we didn't know
if we should go up this mountain or follow a stream
down. The guys wanted to go up, and the girls wanted
to go down, since Markian and Sara told us there
would be no uphill hiking. The guys were persistent
and decided to go up, but we wouldn't follow them and
started going down. It was very, very steep and it
took us a long time, but we beat the guys anyway.
Unfortunately, Markian had seen the whole thing and
was extremely unhappy that we had separated. He made
us walk in total silence because another patrol was
Soloing nearby. We passed by this breathtaking
baby-blue lake, which we would later find out was
Balsam Lake. He took us through numerous turns and
it almost seemed like we were going in circles.
Finally we got to this place and there he told us
to set up two tarps -- one to put all our packs under
while we were on Solo, the other to have a place to
cook dinner under in case it rained. We cooked a
light dinner of soup -- we wanted to feast since it
would be our last meal, but we were advised against
it. Markian explained that feasting would only make
us feel hungrier the next day. Next we started
packing our things. Markian collected all
pocketknives from us. They took Becky away first in
a different direction than everyone else. They put
her close to their campsite because she was sick, and
they wanted to keep an eye on her. When the rest of
us were ready, they took us down this path that
followed a stream. They dropped off Lee first, and I
was next. I had a beautiful sight. I was
right on the stream!!! It was just perfect, and I
was delighted. Markian showed me where to leave my
caren note under a designated rock, so they would
know every morning that we were okay. And there I
was. Alone in the serene wilderness. I was
overjoyed. The first thing I did was set up my tarp.
It was not an easy feat for me -- I spent at least
two hours on it. But in the end it looked fairly
good and tight. I used a stick to support one end of
the tarp and a tree for the other, and big stones for
the sides. I was very proud of mself!!! I don't
remember too well, but I think all I did that night
was go to bed. And did I ever sleep
soundly.