Who Are You?
I was sitting down, not paying attention to the annoying sound of the summer rain pit-patting on my windows. I was too deep in my thoughts. Shinji was gone. The only one I could truly say I loved. Now I was left alone. Loneliness, strange that I had not felt this feeling for an entire year and it returned so fast. Over the countless times I remember nearly dying and I never felt alone, I had Eva. Than he came along. At first I felt like I always did. Alone, nothing, the one who doesn't matter. Yet, when the days passed by, I found myself opening up to him, until the 16th Angel. I forgot everything, save one memory. I remembered an accident when he had entered my apartment, a long time ago. When we hit the ground his hand was on top of my right breast. Back then, I thought of it as a mere obstacle in my path, but now I think of it as a moment worth cherishing. I hated my loneliness. Now it was as if my soul was gone. I went to the University every day, aside from weekends, and worked harder at my major in Psycho Therapy. I know he's not completely dead. He exists somewhere in exile from the Human world, unable to visit me.
Asuka thought I was crazy, but I Psycho analyzed myself at least 5 times, and I was normal. She thinks of him as an asshole for leaving me, if he's still alive, but I just don't know. I guess time will tell. I looked at the clock that was tick-tick-ticking on the wall, which was an ugly stained gray color. I was going to move to a new apartment complex soon. The construction noise was just to annoying. Six o'clock, time to sleep. I had already eaten and I had an early class tomorrow morning, so I wanted to get some sleep. I undressed and laid down in my bed, with only the thin sheets to cover my naked body, in the overheated room. It must have been a dream, but I could have sworn Shinji was there. He was sitting on the bed next to me. I could feel his presence. He touched my cheek and brushed his hand through my hair. I opened my eyes to see that he actually was there.
"Shinji!" I exclaimed.
"Sshhh. Nerv Agents have been watching you. They don't know I'm here."
I noticed the window was closed and all the drapes were down. He was wearing a trench coat now, making him look a bit more shabby, with his tattered jeans and shirt. He took off his coat. As soon as he set it down, I pulled him down to the bed in a deep embrace. I wanted to remember this moment forever. I could not let it go by. He gulped, making me realize that I was naked.
"Um. . .Rei? Would you like to cover up?"
"No! Err. . .I mean. . .yeah I guess." what was wrong with me?! I wanted him so badly.
I wrapped my self in the sheets as he explained his transformation to me. It was hard to swallow, but when he changed into a wolf right in front of me I knew he wasn't lying. Werewolf or not, he was still Shinji, the one I loved. He lied down next to me and I turned over and hugged him.
"Shinji." I whispered in his ear, "right now, all I want is you. Please. . .would you. . ."
I looked at his expression. He understood completely, not giving my a shocked look, but a nervous one.
"Are you sure you want this Rei?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Alright."
He began unbuckling his pants. His shirt was off and he looked at me. His entire body was exposed. I saw the scars that ran along his body, from past fights. Scars that couldn't be healed.
"Shinji, I. . ."
"Sshh. It's alright. I'm OK."
I nodded. I let him under the sheets with me. I felt his soft hands caressing my breast and side as he took his time to position himself.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Yes." I answered.
He thrust himself forth.
* * *
When it was over I could feel the tears that were trickling down my cheeks. It hurt to keep my eyes open. I hugged him to me.
"Thank you, Shinji. I love you." I whispered into his ear.
We laid there in that embrace, not moving at all. We must have fallen asleep though, cause one minute it was night, and the next it was morning, and he had gone. So he's not dead, but he can't show himself to anyone in Nerv, for fear of the testing they would inflict upon him. I got out of bed and walked straight to the shower. The water was a nice feeling as it rained down on my body. When I was finished and wrapped myself in a robe and checked the time. 6:00 am, I still had an hour before my classes started. I went into the cupboards and looked through the food I hadn't packed away yet. A box of cereal. That was it. I opened the fridge and took the remainder of milk out and made breakfast. That's when I noticed the sheet of paper on my table. It was a map to the woods. A map to him.