THURSDAY MAY 12TH 2005 <M-FLO LOVES YOSHIKA - LET GO>
THIS SITE IS NOW ON STATUS/UNDER CONSTRUCTION. PLEASE VISIT MY TEMP MSN BLOG IN THE MEANTIME.

friday february 18th <eminem - meanie>
first class now. that's better.

thursday february 17th <50cent- 50 bars>
guess what kiddo. my plane's been cancelled. again. i have five words for that. what.the.fucking.fuck.fuck

thursday february 10th <ciara - goodies>
I was starting to get homesick the last couple of days. until that is... i got lots of cash, a bluetooth PDA and a cd player for Chinese New Year. heh heh heh. I also got to see my dream apartment. so very cool here.
by the way, i found out today that there are over 5000 taxis in this city of 2,000,000 people, which means a cab anytime and anywhere you want. For about A$2 you can pretty much get from one side of the city to the other. so very, totally, cool here.

monday february 7th <S.H.E - karaoke>
apparently the last time i was here, i told the housekeeper i liked oysters. so since i've been back, i've been force fed oyster soup every night. luckily, the housekeeper will be off the the country for the new years festival, which means no oyster soup for a week at least.
people smoke everywhere here. in the supermarket. at the doctors. in the resturants. i mean it can't be healthy. add to that the way these people drive! my god. its really a wonder that the death rate doens't seem to exceed the birth rate. one of these days, i shall film any and all taxi rides here, and show it at my party like the "ghost rider" series.

tuesday february 2nd <sexand the city>
so here i am in cold and rainy fuzhou. my hometown, once a great port during the opium wars, where pirate dvds stores are permanently open on major roads, and you can get the freshest and biggest oysters from hawker stands for A$0.30. its some sort of pre-new year festival today, and very five minutes there's a shitload of fire crackers going off. more when fingers are less frozen.

sunday january 30th <kelis - mafia>
fuck i have such a bad ahngover. tried to break in through my bathroom window again. but mother had taken precautions since the last time i did that. hmm. i had promised the guys i wouldn't be sober between now and landing in singapore or further. but i dun think my stomach should bbe feeling like its in my throat all the time. and besides, the bastards stung me good. gawd, just so long as i don't chuck on my keyboad.... be back in march. lets go have a quiet drink.

saturday january 29th <monica - get it off>
yup. i'm leaving for china tomorrow, so its time to get right smashed tonight. let me know if you want me to bring you anything back, k?

sunday january 23rd <ugly duckling>
hey dude. i reckon i saw a ufo last night no shit. it was like four in the morning and we were coming home from crown, and when we made the corner, there were these flashing lights, massive flashing red/blue lights in the sky. at first i just dismissed it as police choppers, but after we had parked, we took a closer look, and they were just hovering there, maybe five or six blocks away, and as big as a house. so we hopped back in the car.
the area was purely residential, and it couldn't have been lights from a building seven or eight storeys high. laser lights? they couldn't move like this thing did, right? this was tricky terrain to go ufo chasing though, the roads were moulded into the shape of the mountian they were build on, and all the houses were massive, mostly organised by courts. fuck, i don't know how many u turns we made last night.
by the time we made it to the bridge off earnest wanke road (hahahaha), it had shifted directly to our left, no more than two blocks away, still flashing in sequence. but this two blocks or so proved to be a real pain in the ass. all the houses were double storeys and enjoyed foliage, big big foliage, and only now and then could we glimpse the lights over their roof. everywhere we tried to make a turn, there were courts, and more courts after courts, by the time we found a turning, we were so lost, we had driven back to the bridge again.melway in my hand, we ran up the bridge, huffing and footsteps the only sound in the pre-dawn.
it had gone.
by now the sky was turning purple at the edges, and in pool of streetlights under us, something flashing. there. the damn thing had moved all the way over there.
there was no way we could chase it that far. or that fast. so we drove home, squabbling over who should have bought a digicam with optical zoom.

wednesday january 20th <nothing dudemus>
blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah. muahahahahahahah. blah.

sunday january 17th <nothing dudemus>
the closing ceremony was the only thing i really got to watch for the deaflympics. twas okay, cold, and the scripted signing could have been better i thought, but alas... i collected a lot of badges and a kenya hat, yay. diliky and co had made gourmet pizza at there house, and i was on my way to chomping down the last slice, when her mother pointed out that they had in fact baked a piece of plastic into the pizza, and oh goodness couldn't any of us smell it? we go, oh yeah... and then i ate it good.

wednesday january 5th 2005 <jill scott - i need you jackpot>
had my first day working at the 20th melbourne deaflympic games, doing promo for the next round in taipei 2009, today. its fantastic fun, and i think sign may even soon overtake spanish on my list of things i gotta learn.

monday january 3rd 2005 <angie martinex + kelis - take you home>
just woke up from my 20 post new year coma. have discovered that i am no where near drinking goddess chiharu's level, but am able to down half bottle of vodka(plus numerous cocktails, tequila, vermouth, beer), which is in itself significant achievement as well as foreshortening the lifespan of my liver considerably. then i tried to shake a martini and it went in my eye lol. but really, happy new years to you guys.

sunday december 26th 2004 <chingy - chingy jackpot>
SIMS 2! yayness squared! no more wc3 for me =D i'm gonna build my dream house next door to the aliens and make lotsa uber babies lol. hope y'all had a very merri chrissi
(yes, kids, the new layout is up finally, four months and three cigars a la work later hehheh. I haven't put up all the pages, don't hold your breath. but click around anyway, and don't forget to visit jack and studds off the links page)

wednesday december 22nd 2004 <nakashima mika - seven>
There was this Chinese period soapie that was hot on the mainland a few years ago. Huanzhu Gege, heard of it? Well, I've gone through all 24+48 mindnumbing episodes of it. It's unbelievably cliched, saccharine and has the worst BGM score ever, grates on you, eats at you, makes you feel like you are losing iq and brain cells and thats making a big hole in your head, until you think omfg one more minute of this and my head is going to implode or collapse in on itself... but... you still watch it until five in the morning anyway. Partly because you don't have any AAA batteries to put into the remote to fast forward, and partly because you've been sitting there for the last nine hours wishing you were a princess like a five year old/optimist, and you can't really move your legs right now, and you have to get your beau to change discs for you every forty seven and a half minutes.
Alas. There is this actor (i use the term loosely) who used to be part of a boy band (circa Nicky Woo but not him) you were obsessed with when you were seven, and he hasn't aged a hair. Quite freaky really. He's gotta be in his mid/late-thirties by now, but doesn't look a day over twenty two.
Blah blah, what I'm trying to say is, I am much dumber and dissatisfied with modern notions of romance (that don't seem to involve galant and super non aging prince who shoots their prospective beloved with an arrow but makes up for it by abandoning his crown and saving said beloved from a beheading etc) for having watched this shit, but I have burnt a copy and if you would like, you can be dumber too.

tuesday december 20th 2004 <keane - bend or break>
Putting. Good.

monday december 20th 2004 <something for kate - submarine>
Buying new gloves has not improved my golf swing. I've managed to hit my boy in the head with his mother's $600 #1 driver. Lucky I suck so bad, and don't hit very hard.
But at least its good value for money at the driving range -- the ball just comes right back to me.

thursday december 16th 2004 <joel turner and the modern day poets - these kids>
Harried by Christmas preparations. It used to be bearable when I thought I was still Catholic, but now that I'm more confuzzled and parish-phobic, its all so much less 'wow'.

tuesday december 14th 2004 <jin - signorita>
I bought a pair of jeans from Supre the other day. And now the guys are calling me a 'good little teeny bopper'. Obviously I take offence, this is only my third purchase from Supre, and I only go there because they have smaller sizes than other retail outlets. I have not yet worn sneakers with a mini, and tried to accessorise it with a mini clutch bag from some surfie store. Yeuch.
Omigawd, J1 will so be getting, like, blue balls or whatever for that totally so soon you know? yeah. *titter titter*

friday december 9th 2004 <jill scott - i need you>
So. After five months of being a bum and two weeks frantically hacking essays and cramming radicals, I have once again managed to screw myself over, though not as well or as hopelessly as I had anticipated.

monday november 22nd 2004 <eminem - just lose it>
Once upon a time, in a land far far away (but that don't mean it ain't hip and happening), there was a donkey named Kathryn*, who lived with her friends, Orgasm One, Generic Orgasm Two, and Stiffy the Kangaroo, in an unashamedly Ikea-ed apartment, as yuppies do.
One day, Kathryn the Donkey and the Orgasm Twins went out. They did all sorts of fun, girly things like giggling, and shopping, and having lunch in an outdoor cafe, and dissing unyuppy people, and later, hooked up with the triplets Ogasm Three, Orgasm Four and Ms G. Altogther now, and dressed to the nines, they headed, slightly tipsy, to you know, one of those swanky yuppy joints for some more Cosmopolitans. They had oh so much fun! With girl talk and scoring free drinks off attractive SNAGS and scoring free drinks off not so attractive SNAGS.
When Kathryn the Donkey and the Orgasm Twins finally made it home, heels in their hands, Stiffy the Kangaroo was still awake watching pilates advertisements. He asked Kathryn* how the night had been. And happily, Kathryn said "Nyehhhhhh!" and Stiffy said, "tdsm tdsmtdsm", which was very a kangarooish and appropriate response. And Kathryn said "Nyeehhhh!" and Stiffy gave her a camel's toe as a token of good will, and all the yuppies lived happily ever after. The End.