Gackt’s apartment

9 hours after arriving back from Africa the group have finally made it up the 14 sets of stairs leading up to Gackt’s apartment. Chacha was ever so slightly less than pleased upon the discovery that the lifts are not working, actually, one staff member now has a limp.
Chacha collapses on the sofa, You slumps down into a chair, Gackt gets carried up to his room by his bodyguards (Who aren’t seen for several hours after) and Masa curls up at You’s feet.
Ren, still full of energy charges in and, shouting at the top of his lungs “Pile up!”, throws himself on top of Chacha.

When Gackt finally surfaces from his bed, Ren has once again been gagged and bound. You sits looking smug. Chacha nurses his broken fingernail and Masa has not blinked for 3 minutes.
Ren is impressed. Chacha is not.
Suddenly without warning, Gackt jumps in front of the TV and takes a deep breath.
The were band are sure that he was going to start singing but unfortunately, the reality was much, much worse…

The world tour - Europe

Day 1

On the high way in France

“Remind me again why we’re doing this”
Chacha asks, arms folded eyes narrow.
Gackt replies by telling him that it is a chance to experience new things, to take in new cultures and to free their minds and souls.
Chacha blinks, holds his head in his hands and groans.
You is sitting in the back seat with Ren. Masa insisted on riding in the boot. Gackt had told him that he would take him up on that offer later.
Ren has his head out the window, watching the world fly by at Ren speed.
You has his fists clenched so tight that you could crush nuts in them. You actually had that in mind for Ren…
Gackt is driving. He told the rest of the band that he should drive and not You because he can read French.

In a small French town

Gackt has taken 12 hours to get to a place with a McDonalds, it should have taken him 3, but he can’t read French.
Chacha has listened to hundreds of CDS on the journey and, due to lack of any decent music, has been forced to listen to the Nolan sisters over and over.
Chacha has discovered that he is definitely not in the mood for dancing.
Masa has created a statue of Bob Marley out of chewing gum and is now working on Princess Diana. Ren ate a bug. It was a big bug, with wings and stuff.
You has had to tranquilize himself several times just to get some sleep and heads straight for the chemists to buy some stronger sedatives.

Ren, not satisfied with his first meal, orders 6 Big Mac meals and 2 McFlurrys.
Well, at least Ren tries to order 6 Big Mac meals and 2 Mc Flurrys.
Gackt sees that Ren is struggling and offers to help, insisting that he is fluent in French.
5 minutes later Masa has to be called over.

After about an hour of trying to order food, the band sit down to enjoy their meal. You is standing outside having a cigarette.
Chacha’s chips are too cold…so is his burger. His drink has too much ice in it and his ice cream isn’t cold enough.
Not to worry though, Ren can double up as a bin.

Back in the car

After refusing to ask for directions for nearly 4 hours, GacktJOB are finally on the road to Paris. Chacha invested in some new music in the village and for the remainder of the journey they shall be listening to “Culture Club- the greatest hits”.
Gackt seems oddly upset by this and burst into tears during the chorus of “Karma Chameleon”.

Random statistic number one: Masa has managed to fart 37 times since the airport.

In Paris

Chacha is gone. Ren thought he saw him get out the car and Masa thought he heard the word “Shoes” mentioned…although, it was so fast, it was all just a blur.
You’s wallet has mysteriously gone missing…
Ren sees fountain.
Gackt sees Ren see fountain.
Ren dives for it.
Gackt rugby tackles him.
Ren falls to the floor with a large thud.
You points and laughs and cheers.
The pigeons in the fountain are recovering from shock, their whole life flash before them.
Oddly enough their lives are more interesting than Ren’s. Ren’s involves a lot of bugs.
Masa’s involves a whole load of sex…and just a little Christian Rock (Don’t ask).
You’s involves…Gackt…and Chacha. I think he’d rather forget about the Ren and the Masa.
Chacha’s has pretty pink lighting and Shoujo bubbles, and feathers, and ribbons, and confetti, and dresses, and flowers and him being beautiful. No puppies though, they make a lot of mess.

Chacha’s mini journey part 1

Chacha has 15 bags of shopping from various (expensive) shops. He is walking over one of the many famous Paris bridges. He spots an artist painting portraits on the pavement.

End

The remaining members of GacktJOB give up looking for Chacha and decide to climb the Eiffel tower without him. It’s a shame really, Chacha loves climbing big tall buildings…
You has bet Ren that he can’t get to the top before them by climbing the stairs.

15 minutes later

Masa, Gackt and You have stopped in the café to have a cup of coffee and a pastry. Ren is climbing the 5th set of stairs (no folks, he’s not tired).

Another 15 minutes

Ren makes it to the top to find Masa, Gackt and You in fits of laughter.
Ren dun’ get it.

Random statistic number 2: It takes Ren 30 minutes to climb the Eiffel tower.

Chacha’s mini journey part 2

Chacha has had 5 portraits done by numerous different artists and is still on a quest to find one that is good enough.
He is, however, distracted by a few shops lining the pavement across the road.
He crosses the road.

End

You is taking pictures of Gackt and Masa hanging Ren over the barriers on the second floor. He already has several photos of Masa mooning over France and one of Gackt purposely looming over a small girl for 15 minutes, until she got really freaked and ran away.
After a long time searching in the gift shop, Ren emerged with a pen, badge, compass, Swiss army knife, guidebook, notepad, inflatable mini-tower, glitter-filled plastic model of the Eiffel tower and a T-shirt that says proudly “ I have been up the Eiffel tower!”
You and Gackt were in hysterics for quite a while…
Ren dun’ get it.

Chacha’s mini journey part 3

Chacha grinned. It was the biggest grin the world had ever seen.
“Hello, can I help you Madame?”
Chacha simply scowled at the woman.
He was in Mana’s store. Gackt was gonna hate him for this.

End

Upon reaching ground level again, the four remaining members of GacktJOB proceed to make their way towards the nearest café for a their seventeenth coffee break.
Whilst Ren played hopscotch with his intellectual equals, the other three sensed something oddly familiar about this place…

Chacha’s mini journey part 4

Chacha, who is still giggling like a five year old, finally decides to leave the shop with nothing but a guidebook.
On his way out he bumps into something black and fluffy, causing him to fall onto his backside rather painfully.
He looks up as a hand is extended for aid.
Chacha stares in awe, not because it is Mana standing there, oh no.
Mana is not wearing a drop of makeup.

End

:::This next section shall be written from Ren’s POV. That is why it is very short…like his attention span.::::

Masa whispers to You about something and You mentions to Gackt that they should maybe go and find their missing band member.
It is too late. Gackt has spotted the band playing across the street.
Gackt is- ooo, that coin over there is shiny…

Chacha’s (and Mana’s ) mini journey part 5

Chacha is now shopping with Mana.
Mana is rather stunned at his forwardness and his…well, he didn’t expect one of Gackt’s new band mates to be like this, let’s just say that.
The first thing he had done when they met was rush him inside the store and put make-up on him. This strange blond man had then spent half an hour telling Mana the consequences of someone of his stature walking around without the protective shell of chemicals that his fans were accustomed to seeing him wear.
Mana is very frightened. Mana wants to run away but…there is his life at stake.

End

The band has been kicked out of the café for stealing the street performers instruments and climbing atop the tables to perform mirror.
Even when being dragged away, Gackt blows kisses to the small crowd that has gathered.
A group of three girls stand screaming and jumping. One very odd one spent most of the song shouting, “Where’s my Chacha!?”, whilst the other two tried to silence her. ( Huzzah for cameo appearances!)

Chacha’s mini journey part 6

Chacha is tired. Chacha has spent the last 4 hours shopping.
He was upset because Mana had mysteriously disappeared when he had been looking at a very attractive tablecloth.
Chacha is, strangley enough, very happy at the same time because Chacha still has Mana’s bag.

End

Random statistic number 3 : It took 3.03 seconds for Mana to call his body guards, 1 minute 10 seconds for them to arrive and less than a nano-second for Mana to get in the car.

At the hotel

After meeting up with Chacha, GacktJOB decide it would be a good idea to check into their hotel.
Ren is first inside because…
Elevator goes up, elevator goes down. Elevator goes up, elevator goes down.
Gackt gets the keys for the room and You is left to carry the bags because Gackt is to stingy to pay for a porter.
Masa and Chacha try to get Ren away from the lifts before he presses the red button. Amazingly, they succeed because Masa had some candy in his pocket from the car.
When they eventually reach their rooms, Chacha throws a fit because You is sharing with Gackt.
You protests saying that they live together anyway, asking him what the big deal is. Chacha glares at You, smiles with all the sweetness of a babysitter after four sleepless nights and slams the door shut.
You realizes his mistake. You will be realizing his mistake for at least 6 months.
Gackt says he doesn’t see what’s wrong with him, at least he doesn’t have to share with Ren or Masa.

Chacha will make them pay.
Chacha is so angry that he watches the “shop EZ” channel on TV for a while. It’s actually strangely addictive…

Ren and Masa had a pillow fight. They played music really loud, they ordered a dozen large tubs of ice cream from room service. Then they got tired and fell asleep. With the music on.

Gackt is asleep, You is not. You wonders if Gackt would wake up if he kissed him? You leans over to…

“ Kurosaki You! If you so much as think about doing what I know you were about to do, I will personally see you eating your meals through a straw. Then I shall grind up the bones from your lower jaw, which will by then no longer be attached to your face, into a pulp and insert them into the straw! Then I will shove the straw up where the sun don’t shine so far that I call pull it back out through you mouth! AM I MAKING MYSELF QUITE, QUITE CLEAR ON THIS!”

You is rigid. You fears for his life.

Chacha sleeps peacefully knowing that justice has been done.

Ren has this weird dream where he is this big, big fish and giant spoons are chasing after him and he tries to escape but the amp says no and the miniature sock helps him fly away only to be stopped by a gooey lump of marshmallow that looked strangely like Yoshiki. It was incredibly relevant and made tons of sense. He could really relate to it.

Today is the day of the concert. The band members emerge from their rooms refreshed and ready for the day ahead, well, all except You.
You has massive bags under his eyes…and cannot speak.

At breakfast Chacha is feeling chipper (huzzah!), he sits down at the table with a “Morning all,” and a “Have a good sleep?” for You. Chacha smiles slyly. Gackt replies with a “ Yes, great” and Chacha mumbles something that sounded like “ Yeah, I bet you did…” that apparently only You could hear…

So, will GacktJOB make it to their first concert in France? Will You survive the night? And where exactly is Mr Puffles? I’m sure we’ll find out in the next installment of the GacktJOB world Tour!