( Author’s note- Erm, sorry I only had them go one place in France. I got bored. Oh and, usually what Gackt tells Ren is true. What You tells him is not.)

The airport –

As Gackt is checking out of the hotel in Paris, he notices that Ren and Masa are missing.
A thud, an “ouch…” and random scrambling noises sound Ren’s approach.
One down, one to go.
You rubs his temples as Chacha tries to force shut his 7th suitcase.
“Gackt! Masa’s gone!” the red haired monster blurts out.
Gackt asks Ren to explain and Ren shoves a note towards him.
It reads:

Dear Gackt,
Hi, Masa here. I feel kinda bad about this but…I am leaving. I have found my true love.
He is a 40-year-old yodeler from Quebec called Antak, he wants me to travel with him and see the world. We wish you good luck with the rest of the tour and a merry Christmas from Prague.

Love and cuddles, Masa.

PS – I am taking Toshi with me.

Gacktjob stand in the lobby, silenced and blinking.
Except Ren, who is feeding euros to the carp in the pond.

Day1 – The hotel

The hotel, or “dump” according to You is situated high up on a hill overlooking the town below. Gackt had said that he wanted the cheapest place they could find. This was it. A family run farm and hotel.
Ren is happy about having sheep outside his window to pet in the morning.
Chacha has booked himself into the plushest hotel he could find.
Unfortunately for You, he cant run away to luxury. He has to keep Gackt company whilst he sleeps, or doesn’t sleep depending on whether or not the sheep have their way…
Masa…is gone…for the time being.

After settling into their rooms, Gackt and You opt to have Ren stay in the same room as them to keep an eye on him and to stop a potentially life-threatening danger away from the other guests.
Gackt and You remember what happened the last time they let Ren have his own room…
Yes, yes they do.

In Town

The three meet Chacha at the café outside and go into town together.
Within about two minutes of walking they find themselves in a connivance store.
Gackt heads straight for the wine, You heads for the beer, Chacha heads for the toilet and Ren heads for the meat counter.
“Can one me?” Ren asks the server.
“Sure, you can try one”
Ren takes the entire plateful off of the counter and walks out of the shop.
You shakes his head as he passes the confused young boy that has just experienced the Ren for the first time.

The next shop they come across is a currency exchange point. You tells Ren that here you can exchange anything for money.
Gackt gets more money and Ren tries to pawn bars of soap from the hotel for pesetas.
Not surprisingly, he is refused. There is a band playing on the corner, they are playing panpipes and guitars.
Gackt takes his chance and takes over the band.
In a flash, the sweet sound of Papa lapped a pap lopped rings throughout the town.
As a thank you for getting so much money for them, the Peruvians give the four remaining members of Gacktjob panpipes and beads.
Ren will not stop playing the panpipes. With his nose.

Back at the hotel

Gackt decides to take the band to Machu Picchu, the lost city of the Incas.
Ren asks what an Inca is as they pack for a day trip.
Gackt tells him that they were an ancient civilization who made an intire city out of stone cut to shape by hand and stuck together with only mud.
Ren is impressed, especially when Gackt tells him that they got the stone up on the mountain using Llamas to pull carts.
Ren nods and says “I see”. When Gackt leaves the room he asks You what a Llama is. You says it’s an animal that is created when a camel breeds with a giraffe.
Ren tries to see how that would work. Ren will probably still be trying to see how that would work hours later…

On the trail to Machu Picchu

Chacha has sore feet and has asked You on several occasions to carry him. You merely glares at him every time he complains.
Gackt is ahead of everyone and is slicing a trail for them. It was Gackt’s idea to go “off the beaten track”. If Gackt doesn’t find a way back to the “beaten”track, Chacha will beat Gackt.
They lost Ren about an hour back, he is probably making friends with the natives.

A conversation between two maids in Chacha’s hotel room

Maid one - “This room is immaculate…”
Maid two - “That lady with the blond hair was staying in here, she must have cleaned it”
Maid one - “She was very nice, look, she even restocked the mini bar”
Maid two - “And she folded the end of the toilet paper into points”
Maid one - “And she replaced all the soap and shampoo after they were used”
Maid two - “The bed’s been made, the curtains put back on the hooks, the magazines are in alphabetical order and, what’s that note?”
Maid one – “It says…

Dear cleaners,

I was disappointed with your efforts last time so I decided to show you how it should be done. The pictures were squint so I adjusted them, they are hideous…you should replace them.

Yours sincerely,
Mr. Fujimura

Maid two – “…”
Maid one – “…”
Maid two – “That was a man?”

At Machu Picchu

Ren has joined the party again at the summit. He has several new necklaces and a big floppy hat made of many colours. The three other members of Gacktjob are not sure whether Ren got given them or just took them, thinking they were free.
There is a man guarding a pen full of Llamas. Gackt points them out to Ren.
Chacha stands next to a wall and taps the stone with one nail. Surely if they are only put together with mud they should just slide apart, right?
You kicks the top block of an arch to test this theory. A tour guide shouts at him and tells him to stop it, You shrugs and kicks it again so he can watch the man get really angry.
Chacha raises his eyebrows at You and tells him to stop it.
You grins and kicks it a third time.
The small, fuming tour guide walks over to You and shouts some more.
You tells him in Japanese that he can’t speak English.
They drag You away before he gets them into anymore trouble.

Back at the hotel

After a day of exploration and general madness, Gackt returns with the address and home phone number of a man named Pete. Ren Return with necklaces, a hat and a rug made of Llama wool.
Chacha returns with pictures to replace the ones in his hotel room.
You returns empty handed but feeling accomplished at getting a death threat from the tiny, evil tour guide. You tried to find as many different ways to annoy him as humanly possible.
Gackt asks the band where they would like to go next. Ren says that he would like to go to Egypt, where the pyramids live.
Chacha agrees with Ren, Egypt sounds good.
Gackt protests, saying that there is nowhere to play.
Ren disagrees, misunderstanding the term “play”. Ren thinks there are thousands of places to play in Egypt probably.
You leans over to Ren and whispers in his ear,
“ Egypt is dangerous at night. If you aren’t careful, the mummies will come out and smother you in your sleep”
Ren asks what they smother you in.

In the bus, on the way to the airport

Chacha asks Gackt how much all this flying around to other countries is costing and suggests that they stay on a set course rather than just hop about all over the place.
Gackt thinks about that for a while.
He then turns around to look at Chacha from the front seat.
Ren is sitting next to Chacha with Mr. Puffles strapped in the middle seat.
“You are absolutely right Chacha. We should go home to Japan, sit down together and come up with a list of the places we’ll go to. It also means that I can get my favorite sunglasses that I forgot.”
You laughs, for no apparent reason.
Chacha and Gackt turn to look at him.
You stops and faces the window.
Ren asks if they are still going to Egypt, if he can have a mint from the glove compartment and if he can buy his favorite “magazine” from the airport shop.
The answer comes in unison, “no”.

(Author’s note 2 – Whew, sorry that chapter was so spastic. I find it difficult to write about countries I haven’t been to, but I couldn’t resist Peru. Egypt next, that should be fun because I have actually been to Egypt. Chacha really likes Egyptian things doesn’t he? His logo has the eye of Raa on it. I had to make them go back to Japan so I could introduce a new person. Who is it? Ha, well…you’ll just have to wait and see! Mwa!
Oh and, one last thing. Thanks everyone for feedback! It’s great that people actually bother to read this. I hope sometime to have loads of people wanting pandas of their very own called Mr. Puffles.
Maybe I will get Anna to put a picture of him up on the site…
Anyway, no one cares enough to bother reading this far so I’ll shut up now.)