Back in Japan

Ren is dancing around his room to Mini Moni songs, which isn’t much fun for the other residents in his building. You is slouching on the couch watching superhuman Coliseum on the television, marveling at a contortionist. Chacha and Gackt sit at the table, planning the rest of the tour.
Chacha has suggested quite a few places to go, most of them in America. Gackt has rejected every single one because most of them were big cities, and all the hotels that Chacha suggested were either in a shopping district or weren’t far from one.
“Dance dance Suru no Da!” Ren shouts from above.

You has watched the television for 4 hours and started watching as soon as they got home. Ren, after dancing in his room for just as long is asleep next to him.
After four hours of planning, Gackt and Chacha have come up with a few places they would like to go.
Well, Egypt.
Chacha tells the group that he is going out to buy cigarettes. As if on cue, the rest of the band asks him if he can buy them some.
Ren, having been woken from dreamland by the word cigarette, asks You to change the channel.
You says no.

At the shop

Chacha scans down the shelf for his favorite home keeping magazine when he spots an advert for a fair that is going to be in town.
He takes the advert and heads for the till, still wondering whether he should show Ren or not.
He asks the cashier who simply blinks and looks scared.

Back at the house

By the time Chacha returns, everyone else is drunk. You has also invited a few of his buddies round.
From what Chacha can hear, You has gone back to calling him his bitch.
Chacha strides over to the couch and turns off the DIY program. One of You’s friends gives an moan of disapproval.
Chacha tells You that if he ever calls him that again, especially in front of others, he will turn all his underwear pink and rip his jeans in inconvenient places. Chacha picks up the beer cans on the coffee table, the bowl of peanuts and the remote control. Then he disappears into the kitchen.
Akira, Die and Kaoru all turn and glare at You. Akira complains that he can’t watch Changing Rooms now because Ren broke the manual switch on the television. You asks them what they should do now.
“We could play Kerplunk,” suggests Die.

Gackt is in his music room, trying to compose a new song. So far he has come up with nothing. What he has done is manage to sharpen every pencil in the room into a perfect point. Spill a great deal of alcohol on the piano and stand on something.
Which, surely, is much more productive than song writing.

Kaoru has won the first eight rounds of Kerplunk and, while he is up for another game, the others aren’t.
Kaoru asks You if it’s safe to go into the kitchen yet, You shakes his head violently.
Die mutters something that sounded like “Yeah, he’s really your bitch” but could have been “Yeah, you should ready your switch”

The others have just noticed Ren is missing. No-one cares, and they forget about it.

After about another hour Chacha reappears from the kitchen with a coffee-chocolate pie, fairy cakes, an iced cinnamon cake, a carrot cake and brownies.
Ren brings a plate of chocolate crispy cakes and marshmallow top hats.
The four “Men of the couch” all sit up. Chacha smiles and tells them that Ren was helping him.
Ren announces that he made the crispy cakes.
You tells the others not to eat them.

Eventually, after some shouting and crashes from the kitchen, You and Chacha return to the living room to find Ren, Akira, Die, Kaoru and Gackt playing Kerplunk.
Apparently Kaoru was cheating, though how that’s possible in Kerplunk, Chacha is not sure.
Having made up with each other You and Chacha seem to be in a very lovey-dovey mood and at this point Chacha chooses to mention the flyer for the fair in town.

At the Fair

You and Chacha are at a rifle stand where You is trying to win Chacha a giant Unicorn toy but so far has only managed to “win” 14 consolation plastic roses.
Gackt is taking Ren on all the rides but refuses to go on any upside-down rides due to the amount of alcohol he has consumed.

Ren finds a ride that interests him called the “summit”. It goes upside down so Gackt wont let him go on it.
Ren decides he has had enough and runs ahead to the front of the queue. Normally Gackt would have run after him in a feeble attempt to catch him but the alcohol said no. The alcohol said “No Gackt, you sexy son of a bitch, you will stay here and continue to try and convince the people around you that you are sober and also look out for Laydees”.
Gackt agrees with the alcohol and the alcohol tells him he loves him. Gackt is touched and starts to cry in front of “Summit”.

Ren is about 4 people away from the front of the queue. As he moves closer and closer he grows more and more nervous. Eventually when he reaches the front he stands still gazing up at ”Summit” in terror. After 12 minutes of the queue shouting angrily at Ren a member of the queue grabs his arm and drags him on and shoves him a seat.
The person next to Ren is blurry from the tears of panic but he manages to make out what he says. It had lots of swearing and laughing.

As “Summit” spins and twists in the air, Ren’s stomach does an intricate dance. He thinks it might be swan lake, but he can’t be sure. Spinning round and round, up and down, Ren does the unexpected:
“So, are you having fun? It’s good isn’t it!”
The person next to him turns to face him and eyebrows that are barely there furrow in confusion.
“What the fuck are you on about?”
“I said, it’s good isn’t it!”
The person scowls, “Shut the fuck up!”
“Oh, OK”

5 seconds later

“Woo hoo! This is great, this is so amazing!” Ren waves his hands high in the air and releases his seatbelt.
The person next to him tries to stare in amazement but cant due to the fact that gravity is forcing his head into the headrest.
“You are a Psychopath! You’re going to kill yourself!”
Ren replies with, “Naw, I’ve been in worse. Once I fell off the side of this cruise liner and did a belly flop. I was in hospital for 4 months!”
The person next to him seems very impressed.
As the ride begins it’s most treacherous minute, Ren throws up.
One long stream that soaks all the other passengers.
The ride is stopped.
Ren tries to apologize to the other passengers but is stopped as the man next to him’s moth closes over his own.

The others are now distressed as they found Gackt on the ground outside the ghost house telling a bottle of Malibu he loves it in nine different languages. You has managed to win a prize for Chacha. Unfortunately for Chacha it is a giant panda and Ren will probably want it. Chacha won’t mind as he has 67 plastic roses to compensate.
Chacha tries to get Gackt to tell them where Ren is but all Gackt says is “ Ich Liebe Bier, du hast einen dunkelgrau und suche”
Ren stumbles back in amazement as the stranger finally lets go of him. The stranger pauses for a second and then says, “ Candy floss and…Lasagna”.
Ren nods and claps.
The stranger introduces himself as Kyo and apologizes for his behavior earlier. He explains that it’s his party trick to guess what a person has been eating from the taste of their vomit.
Ren being Ren is impressed. Kyo offers to escort Ren around the fair when Ren explains that he has lost his friends.
They go on the big wheel and spit off of the top onto passers by, the go to the rifle stall and Kyo fires the pellets at unsuspecting stall attendants. They buy burgers and Candy Floss and toffee apples. They go on the waltzers with families and deliberately spin the cars round really fast. They even go on the kiddie’s rides and the carousel. Ren, for the first time has found love, and it’s love of the kind that can’t get on some rides due to the height restriction.

After searching for nearly 3 hours Chacha, You and a barely coherent Gackt find Ren and Kyo sitting in a bar holding hands with Ren and sharing a milkshake.
You’s eyes narrow.
Chacha begins to shout at Ren but is interrupted by Ren,
“Chacha! This is my boyfriend, Kyo. Isn’t he beautiful!” Ren beams. Chacha stutters and shudders slightly at Kyo’s kiss on his hand.
You stares coldly at Kyo. Kyo notices him.
Gackt has fallen asleep.

On the way home – In Chacha’s car

Chacha asks You if he knows “That Kyo fellow”. You nods and tells him that he knows him through Die and Kaoru and that they have “history”. Chacha looks shocked and brakes by accident. You flys forward in his seat and nearly chokes to death on the seatbelt.
“You’ve slept with that…that…thing?!”
You glares at chacha.
“No! God no!”
“Well, what then?”
You looks down at his feet. Chacha repeats the question.
You mumbles something and Chacha bursts out in fits of laughter.

On the way home – In Kyo’s car
Gackt is unconscious in the back seat and Ren is in the passenger seat holding Kyo’s hand.
“I love you”
“I know”
“I loooooooooooove you”
“I know”
“I reeeeeeeeeally, really love you”
“Look, Ren. I know, now shut the fuck up! I am trying to drive”
“Sorry”

5 minutes later

“You know Kyo I-“
“No! No, no, no, no!”
“Sorry”

Back at Chacha and You’s apartment.

Chacha asks You if what he said was really true. You groans and says yes.
Then You’s eyes become terrified. He begs Chacha not to tell anyone.
Ever.
Chacha laughs and agrees, reassuring You that he would never do something like that.
You breaths a sigh of relief until Chacha says,
“Unless you call me your bitch again”
Gackt lifts his head from the sofa and tells You and Chacha about his dream.
Apparently he made love to bottle of Smirnoff ice, said it was cheap and that he would go home and tell Malibu. Apparently Malibu had cried when he had confessed.

In the morning in the studio

Gackt, surprisingly is quite upbeat and hyper for someone who should have had the mother of all hangovers. Ren is doodling pictures of him and Kyo. Chacha and You both have huge bags underneath their eyes.
Which, is not surprising seeing as it’s 5.00 in the morning.
You asks the obvious, why they are there.
Gackt replies that he has booked flights to Egypt and they are leaving in five hours.
All of GacktJOB (including Ryuichi who was outside trying to force the vending machine to give him his cup-a-soup by kicking repeatedly and shouting abuse at it) blink and look at each other.

Author’s note: Thank you to everyone who has waited oh, about half a year to read this. I am sorry I haven’t updated in so long. It’s even been quite a while since that message on the main page, I do apologize as my keyboard died. I…spilt juice on it. It was Anna’s fault really because she phoned and I had to jump off of my loft bed to get her call. Then I kicked the glass over and frazzled my keyboard. I wanted the Hello Kitty one but my dad said that £30 was a bit much…