“I don’t want to be here when the shit hits the fan,” I confided in his chest, lacking the will to move, as I broke the heavy silence that had wrapped us in its dark blanket. We’d been lying on the floor for what seemed like days, and neither one of us had been able to shut our eyes.

“Where would we go?” he asked out loud, although not particularly to me.

I thought about it for awhile, letting the subtle movements of his chest push my head up and down, which reminded me to breathe. I didn’t really want to be anywhere, if that makes sense, but I definitely didn’t want to be in a house full of people I’d just met. It will be hard enough breaking the news to my own family; I definitely do not want to be here when his family finds out.

I sighed and used every ounce of strength left in my body to look up at his face, which was illuminated by the moonlight shining through the cracks in the blinds. He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, rubbing his forehead with his free hand.

“Don’t you have a house or something?” I finally asked.

“Jovie, why would I have brought us back here if I had a house of my own?” he asked shaking his head.

“Well,” I said, turning my attention back to his moving chest, feeling slightly self-conscious due to his tone, “most people who can afford it buy a house when they get married. Kill me for assuming you and Kate would have done that.” I rolled my eyes and inhaled deeply, overwhelmed with the situation.

“Sorry.” He said after a minute, much softer than his previous comment. “Thank God Kate and I were waiting until after the tour to buy a house,” he explained without breaking the staring contest him and the ceiling were having.

I rolled my eyes, feeling hopeless. “What about Isaac? Do him and what’s her name have a place?”

“Nikki,” he corrected me.

“Nikki and Isaac, do they have a place?”

“Yeah, Isaacs got a house,” he exhaled, not sounding too enthused by my inquiry.

I looked up at him hopefully and asked, “Can we go there?”

He didn’t reply for awhile, and I had interpreted that as a no, but after a few minutes he sat me and him up and started looking for his cell phone.

He found it and dialed Isaac's number. “Isaac?” he asked as he sat with back against the bed, his knees bent up to his chest, and his head hanging down. “Yeah, sorry…Yes, I know what time it is. I need to come over... Me and Jovie.”

I sat Indian style across from him, studying him while waiting for the verdict. Now that my eyes had adjusted to the dim darkness, I could see that some of Lex's blood had stained the green t-shirt he was wearing. He looked defeated as he hung up the phone and tossed it on the ground beside him.

“Yeah, we can go over there,” he finally said standing up, then reached his hands above his head and stretched out his back.

I stood up with him, and watched as he slipped on his shoes and flipped on the lights. I was washed over with a sense of panic, just by being a few away from Zac. I was confused by my irrational, and seemingly instant need to be in contact with him at all times, but it had seemed to set in as soon as I put it all together. There was probably only 6 feet between us, but it felt like miles. I was afraid that if I wasn’t near him, he too would disappear and I would be left all alone.

I looked quickly around the room for my flip flops before remembering I had abandoned them at the hotel with Lex and Kate, then as quick as I could I pick up my purse that had spilled on the floor. I didn’t bother to pick up anything that had fallen out, and while it seems silly that I would carry my empty purse it didn’t cross my mind until later. I picked his cell phone off the ground, but he instructed me to leave it, so I tossed it on the bed before I walked out of the room, hand in hand with Zac.

We rushed quietly down the stairs, so to not wake anyone. My heart was pounding, terrified that someone would interfere with our flee to the privacy of his car, so I held my breath until we made it out the backdoor and to his car that was parked in front of the garage, then released it once we were safe.

He threw his car into reverse and put his right arm behind my headrest then sped out of the driveway onto the main road. Normally I would have bitched at Lex to slow down, but right now I didn’t want Zac to stop. I wanted him to keep driving as fast as possible to get us as far away from tonight as we could.

“I wonder what he’s doing right now,” I thought out loud as I watched Zac drive. His knuckles were turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. We’d been driving in silence for the past 5 minutes, and the eerie quietness was getting to me and making me think too much. He glanced over at me when I said it, but didn’t say anything. “Well, he’s not coming after me, that’s for sure,” I said looking out my window.

“What would you even do if he was?” he asked. I looked back at him, and for a second our eyes landed on each other before he turned his focus back to the road.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I guess that’s one of those situations that you wouldn’t know what to do unless it was actually happening. “Probably either fall apart and cry, or beat him up myself this time.”

A small smile played on Zac's face for a split second when I said this, but quickly disappeared when he punched the steering wheel, stepped on the break and cursed as we were stopped by a red light. I leaned back in my seat and looked out the window at the flower shop beside the road. My heart broke again when thoughts of all of the arrangements for the wedding flew through my head. I shut my eyes hoping to escape the truth.

I wished his car was a time machine that would take up to a different place. I opened my eyes again when I felt the car move, looked back out the window, and watched the world fly by. I shut my eyes when it started to blur, and hoped that when I opened them I would be in a different world.

Unfortunately, Isaac’s house wasn’t nearly as far away as I wished, and I sighed when Zac pulled into the driveway and turned off his car. He looked at me, hearing my sign and lightly squeezed my hand.

He got out of the car first, and walked around to my side. He opened the door and looked down at me, giving me a moment to collect myself. I wasn’t ready to get out, but he looped his arm through mine and stood me up. If it wasn’t for his arm hooked under mine I don’t think I would have had the strength to get out. He shut the door behind me and pulled me up to Isaac’s front door.

He violently pounded on the door with both hands until Isaac, who was dressed in nothing but boxers and a sleepy frown, opened the door. Neither Zac nor I said anything when Isaac greeted us and inquired about our disheveled appearances, and I followed Zac as he pulled me passed Isaac who stayed at the door with a confused look on his face. He directed me into the kitchen, and let go of my hand to open the refrigerator door.

He was searching frantically and finally pulled out two cans of beer.

“I don’t drink beer,” I informed him as he held out a can for me to grab, but I took it anyways, and put it in front of me as he searched for something else. Finally he presented me with a bottle of wine.

“Wine, your majesty?” he asked sarcastically holding the bottle up for me to inspect. I shrugged my shoulders and accepted it. He turned around and searched the cupboards for wine glasses, and turned around with two in his hands.

I held one glass in my hand while he carelessly filled it to the brim, and waited for him to pour his own before we toasted our failing relationships, and quickly drank the expensive wine Isaac had been saving for “that special occasion.” Of course we didn’t know that then, but Isaac would later shit a brick when he saw the empty bottle lying, shattered on the ground.

I had always considered myself too classy for beer, but due to my already slightly altered state of mind, and my longing for more once the wine was gone, I was glad to drink what he had given me. “Swallow hard and wipe them dreams away,” I whispered to myself before I snapped open the can of beer, and threw my head back.

The cool, bitter taste circled my mouth and throat, and sent a shiver down my spine. It was as disgusting as I had remembered it, but as they say desperate times call for desperate measures.

And I was desperate to erase this.

Before I brought the can back to my lips I thought about everything Lex and I had together, and how carelessly he let it all fall apart. With each gulp, I hoped it would drown the feeling that was still alive and flailing in my stomach.

After the beer was gone, Zac had moved on to look for something stronger. After my second beer he had poured me another drink. I’m not sure what it was but it tasted like nail polish remover, and instantly added a hint of crimson to my increasingly warm cheeks. I felt the warm liquid slide all the way from my throat down, leaving a trail of warm tingles. I could feel it resting in my stomach, bubbling and burning, ready to come back up at any second.

I breathed out heavy, mentally preparing myself for another swig of the poison. Zac was standing by the sink guzzling his, and shut my eyes.

I took another drink.

I heard a breaking glass. I snapped my head in his direction, and waited for my eyes to catch up and focus on him. The world slid back and forth slowly before he came into focus. The wine bottle that Zac and I quickly emptied was lying shattered on the ground at Zac’s feet.

It didn’t faze him though; he stepped over it and joined me at the table. He winked at me as he raised his glass and threw his head back and pouring the alcohol down the hatch.

I bit my bottom lip, holding back a smile that was trying desperately to escape as Isaac walked into the kitchen, with a t-shirt and pajama pants this time, and quietly looked from me to Zac to the broken glass on the floor. He crossed his arms over his chest, and I watched him take a deep breath before he started shitting bricks.

“I saw saving that for Nikki and I!” he started ranting, but I couldn’t focus on what he was saying. His arms were flying, and his face was turning as red as mine.

I’m not sure why I thought it was so funny, but I couldn’t help but laugh as he lectured Zac and I. His glare told me it wasn’t funny, but I couldn’t stop, so I brought the glass back up to my mouth and took a drink to keep me from laughing.

“Oh no,” Isaac said reaching for my drink and pulling it away from my lips. “I think you’ve had enough.”

I sat at the table and looked at Isaac in disbelief. I was about to cry, and I couldn’t help it.

“Please?” was all I could get out, as if I was a kindergartener who just had her crayons taken away.

Zac laughed as tears welled up in my eyes. My eyes followed his glass all the way up to his lips.

Isaac reached over and tried to take away Zac’s drink, but Zac aggressively swatted away Isaac's hand. “Get your own, Fucker.”

“Zac, I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but we’ve got a show today. It’s fucking 5:30 in the morning. You need to go to bed.”

“Cancel the fucking show,” Zac exclaimed, slamming his drink on the table, sending liquid flying up and out of the glass, covering his hand and the table, then he leaned back, lifting the front two legs of his chair off the ground. It looked as if he was challenging Isaac to make the next move, as he sat there with a sly drunken grin.

“We can’t cancel a hometown show, Zac. Are you kidding me?”

“Fine. Then I’m not playing,” he said letting the legs of his chair come back down to the ground with a thud. He crossed him arms over his chest and waited for Isaac to react. I looked back and forth between Isaac and Zac as the awkward silence filled the space between them, trapping me in the middle. After it was evident that Isaac, due to his tired state, had nothing to reply with, Zac dug deeper for a reaction. “You and Taylor don’t fucking need me anyways. Just do an acoustic show and they won’t even know I’m not there. Isn’t that what you want, Isaac? To be the center of attention?”

“Zac what are you talking about?” Isaac asked, rubbing his forehead in defeat. “What is going on?”

Zac bent forward and rested his forehead on the table to ignore Isaac. Isaac then turned to me after Zac shut him out. “Jovie. What is going on?”

I was about to answer when Zac sat up and reached over with his alcohol drenched hand and covered my mouth.

“He doesn’t care, Jovie,” Zac spoke to me, but never tore his eyes away from Isaac.

“Well, if you’re going to drink all of my liquor and sleep in my house you should let me know why you’re even here in the first place,” Isaac started, and after a blank stare from Zac he continued, “Does this have to do with Kate?”

My eyes grew wide in amazement that he figured it out. I wanted to tell him, but Zac's hand was still covering my mouth, so I shook my head up and down.

“Jovie,” Zac said whined, uncovering my mouth.

“What happened?” Isaac asked sitting down, relaxing his tense position, assuming the role of the caring older brother.

Zac shook his head and looked down at his hands. He uncomfortably twisted the ring around his left ring finger before looking up at Isaac. His tired eyes were glazed over even more than before. He explained everything in detail to Isaac, who sat in complete shock soaking in the words.

He told about the car ride over, and the sick irony of the song on the radio, and about the hotel key not being the right one. He explained why we went up to the room and the look on Kate's face when we opened the door. He confessed his angry attack on his best friend, and the feeling that grew in his stomach after. He explained how he saw it coming, but though it was just his insecurities that made him think that.

I felt out of place sitting between the two of them as Zac explained what happened, with all of his words slurring together. By the end of it he was crying again, eagerly swallowing the last of his drink. He slammed the empty glass on the table after he extracted all it had to give, then placed his elbows on the table and cradled his head in his hands.

Isaac sat quietly staring at Zac for awhile before handing me my glass, then standing up to refill Zac's. After he placed the drink in front of Zac he stood hovering above him as if he had something more to say, but all he could do was place his hand on Zac's shoulder and shake his head. It was so quiet that I was afraid to breathe and break the silence.

“I’ll tell you what,” he finally said, causing me to jump, and Zac to lift up his head and stare up at him, “we play the show today and you won’t have to talk to anyone or sign anything after the show, but we can cancel the next few shows if you want so we can sort this out and make arrangements.”

I looked at Zac and waited for what seemed to be forever for him to answer. You could he was fighting with himself, and going back and forth, but finally he crossed his arms and placed his head on top of them on the table.

“Fine,” he mumbled into his arms, then sat up “but I’m not singing. I’ll play my drums but I'm not singing and I’m not signing anything, or talking to anyone. And Love of Belladonna better not set foot on my stage. Or Kate. She fuckin’ better not be there either.”

“Alright,” Isaac nodded, “I’ll pass that onto Taylor and everyone. Now will you please try to get a little sleep.”

“You can’t tell anyone what happened,” I naively said, overlooking the fact that everyone else would probably know by now anyways. As far s I was concerned no one would ever know about this, and it would remain a secret forever. I just couldn’t take the embarrassment of everyone knowing I was clueless enough to let this happen.

I was surprised how Isaac was handling the situation. Here he had two drunken emotional people barging into his house at 5 am, drinking his liquor and crying. His ex-girlfriend had just cheated on his little brother, and he seemed quite calm about it which, apparently, is what Zac needed.

Personally, if one of my exes cheated on their new lover I wouldn’t have any sympathy at all for them, but Isaac was different. He seemed genuinely sincere in his empathy for Zac.

“Alright,” he nodded, looking at me. “I won’t say a word.”