Annie found me a little later when she poked her head out the back door, picking at the gravel as I sat against the brick building sulking in the same spot Zac left me. She smiled when she saw me, and pushed the back door open and stepped outside, letting it slam shut behind her. She walked toward me then pushed her hands into her pockets and hovered above me without saying anything.

“Hey,” she finally whispered after it was evident that I wasn’t going to acknowledge her with my own free will.

“Hey,” I repeated, without looking up at her. I watched her feet shuffle uncomfortable as silence fell between us.

“Is this seat taken?” she asked as she sat indian style next to me, her purse making a small thud as it hit the ground.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked away from her at the parking lot at the far end of the building, squinting into the sun trying to avoid conversation. I could hear her shifting her weight next to me, but I pretended to be interested in the parked cars instead. She sighed next to me, over exaggerating it, but it was futile. I was trying my best to keep up my stone exterior, even if it meant to pay no attention to her at all.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m worried about you,” she said as she took my left hand and held it in her own. I shrugged again and tried my hardest not to let any emotions show, although I could feel my nose start to burn and threaten tears. She let go of my hand and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to her.

“It’s okay,” she whispered into my ear, lightly squeezing my right arm encouragingly. I’ve grown up with two brothers, and I’ve always wished for a sister just for moments like these. Luckily for me Annie has had plenty practice being a big sister, and she’s been gracious enough to open her arms to me on more than one occasion.

My body relaxed against hers while I let me head fall onto her shoulder. I cried quietly for a few minutes, while she stroked my hair holding me tightly. She didn’t prod at me, or ask me any questions, even though I know she was concerned and wanted to know. She didn’t even have to say anything, but I knew she was there for me. She just let me cry, and tried to comfort me without trying to make me stop crying, and that was all I needed, just someone to sit with me and let me get it out.

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and sat up straight once I was able to control myself. She held onto my hand, and looked at me, giving me all the room I needed, but I wasn’t ready. We sat quietly for a few more minutes before either of us said anything while she drew small circles in the palm of my hand.

“You’re better than this, you know” she whispered, wiping away the last of my tears, and I nodded although I was far from convinced she was right. She didn’t know the whole story.

“You wanna go on a walk?” she asked, and I nodded. She stood up first and waited for me to stand up with her. We walked around the venue seeing that the line was slowly making it way into the venue, and continued walking despite the pictures that were being taken. It seems that in the last couple weeks fans have really discovered us and for some reason were enthralled with us for no other reason than we’re with Hanson.

We ended up at a small diner, talking over a plate of shared French fries and two chocolate milk shakes, taking my mind away from my problems while laughing over old times. The diner was lined with big vinyl booths that were filled with mostly older couples, with the exception of a table or two with teenagers. Annie and I were seated in a booth near the back, right by the kitched doors. There was light music playing in the background, but I couldn’t tell you what it was, other than the fact that it said “baby” in it. It was mostly drowned out by the clinking of plates and silverware, and the hum of other peoples’ conversations.

I eventually decided I was going to tell Annie what happened the night before, even though she didn’t ask, and I sat nervously the entire time we waited for our shakes, trying to think of the best way to say it. Eventually I blurted it out, holding my breath as soon as the words fell out of my mouth. I bit my fingernails nervously as she stirring her whipped cream into the chocolate shake before taking another sip. When I told her that Zac and I slept together I expected her to gasp and freak out, but she actually had very little reaction at all.

“For real?” she asked after she swallowed the drink, and smiled when I let out the deep breath I was holding after I told her.

“Yeah,” I nodded expecting a bigger reaction from her, but she just nodded and continued to casually drink her shake. I, on the other hand, hadn’t even taken a sip of mine, but instead stirred it nervously since it was placed in front of me by our waiter, even though he put an extra cherry on top because Annie told him I needed an extra pick me up.

“Well, was he any good?” she smiled deviously, picking up a french fry. My mouth dropped open and I glared at her as she giggled.

“Annie!” I warned her, although I couldn’t help but crack a smile, because I knew she was being serious. It was classic Annie style to make the best of a situation.

“What?” she laughed, raising her hands defensively as I shook my head at her. “Oh come, like you haven’t wondered that before? Shoot, Joves.”

My cheeks burned red as I scrunched up my nose and tried not to laugh. I bit my nails and shook my head, unsure of how to answer. She’s never had a second thought about sharing incredibly intimate information, but I usually am not the type to kiss and tell. I swear sometimes I feel like a 13 year old girl by the way I get embarrassed by the things Annie can talk about in public, though strange looks from other people don’t even seem to faze her.

“Shut up, Annie,” I said shaking my head, covering my pink cheeks with my hands.

“Does he know he took your V-Card?” she asked as I glared at her for her ability to throw seriousness out the window.

“Annie, this is serious,” I paused while she continued smiling, waiting for the answer to her question. “And, no, he doesn’t. I don’t think so,” I blushed more, covering my mouth.

“Ah!” she laughed, pointing at me “Look at you trying to be so innocent!”

“I’m not exactly proud of it, Annie,” I told her, biting my bottom lip.

“Jovie, look on the bright side: not many girls can say they lost their virginity to Zac Hanson, right?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t exactly have a conversation about his sex life. I don’t even remember if we had any conversation at all,” I explained, folding my arms on the table and buried my face in them, feeling my cheeks burn with humiliation as she giggled more.

“And since you’re apparently back with Lex you should hurry up and have sex with him incase you get preggers so that he’ll think it’s his.”

I prayed that she was joking, but I wasn’t 100% sure she was. At that moment I started wondering why I had spent so much time becoming best friends with this fountain of wisdom named Annie, because who doesn’t expect this kind of advice from a so called best friend in a time of need?

“Annie! Not helping!” I whined lifting my head back up to look her in the eye. “Seriously. What am I gunna tell Lex?”

She raised her eyebrows at me and put down her glass. “You’re gunna tell Lex?”

“Am I?” I asked, truly unsure if it was a good idea or not.

“I wouldn’t” she said shaking her head, as if it wasn’t a big deal. I bit my index finger and frowned while I thought about it.

“No?” I asked, having it sit funny in the pit of my stomach. Something was telling that the answer Annie had given me wasn’t the best one, but lately I didn’t trust my gut. That’s how I ended up in bed with Zac.

“No,” she repeated casually, shaking her head while she picked up another French fry and dipped it in ketchup. She showed no sings of uncertainty what so ever, and I couldn’t help but envy her for that.

I shifted uncomfortably in the vinyl booth as a silence fell between us when the waiter walked back over to check on us. I pulled my legs up under me to sit Indian style and stirred my milk shake more, deep in thought about what to tell Lex, or should I say what not to tell Lex.

“For sure?” I finally asked, deciding not to tell him.

She rolled her eyes, and placed both of her elbows on the table resting her chin in her hands, then gave me a serious look. “Why would you tell him?”

“I don’t know,” is shrugged.

“Then don’t worry about it.”

“But what if he finds out?”

“How is going to find out?”

“I don’t know! But what if he does?”

“Jovie, look at it this way. You, Zac and me are the only ones who know, and I swear I’m not going to tell anyone, and Zac sure as hell won’t be telling anyone, right?”

“I don’t know.”

She shook her head, seeming exhausted. “You’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not like you and were technically together then. He has no right to be mad about it, right?”

“Yeah, but we weren’t technically broken up either though,” I reminded her.

“Well what does Zac have to say about it?”

I inhaled deeply, and tried to decide where to start.

“Well, he’s not as upset about it as I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“This morning he tried to convince me it was a good thing.”

“Really?” she asked, smiling deviously. Honestly, it wasn’t helping one bit that while I felt horrible about what happened, Annie seemed to be enjoying it.

“Yeah. He had this huge confession that he didn’t love Kate, or something and that he didn’t regret it happening. I don’t remember. ”

“What?” she asked, lightly slamming her glass onto the table, chocking on her shake.

“I know!” I said louder than I intended, calling attention from the older couple seated at the table next to us. My cheeks blushed red and I slouched down in the booth and rubbed my temples.

“I mean, I don’t blame him. Look at your rack. I’d take you over that stick if I was him too,” she laughed, but stopped when I gave her my best I’m-going-to-kill-you look.

“So then why are you staying with Lex?” she asked in all seriousness, leaning in over the table to whisper, now that we’re called attention to ourselves.

“Annie, I don’t know what else to do!”

“Well, Zac—“

“Annie, its not realistic.” I hissed at her, already knowing where she was going with it.

“And why not?” she asked, reaching across the table and picked one of the cherries off the top of my milkshake, biting it off the stem.

“Where should I start?” I asked, rolling my eyes. “Um, he’s married—“

“To a stick figure, cheating whore,” she added in.

“Regardless, he married. And I hardly know anything about him, and he doesn’t know anything about me. Oh, and he lives across the country, and I can’t deal with long distance relationships without outside speculation and drama, so there’s no way in hell I could deal with the teenies tearing me apart on stupid message boards.”

“Since when do you care about what people think about you?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Jovie, this is Zac Hanson we’re talking about. You’re honestly going to pass it up?”

“Yes! I don’t care who the fuck he is!” I shouted in a whispered voice. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not happening.”

“Fine,” she frowned and shrugged her shoulders while I finally took a sip of my shake. “Well, what did Zac say when you told him you and Lex were staying together.”

“I didn’t tell him that,” I confessed.

“Well, what did you tell him then?”

“Nothing.”

“You should tell him something.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Like what? I’m sorry I had sex with you, and you were under the impression that it was a good idea to have sex with me, and leave your wife in Oklahoma under false pretenses that I was actually interested in you, and not just deeply hurt, confused and drunk?”

“Maybe something a little less harsh,” she frowned, holding her fingers up with a small gap between her index finger and thumb.

“Annie, I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, are they getting divorced?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I have no clue.”

“What about you and Lex? What are you guys doing? Are you still getting married or are you just going to start over or what?”

“Fuck if I know,” I sighed.

“Well you can always take consolation in the fact that about a million girls would love to be in your place right now.”

“Please, Annie,” I said rolling my eyes. “Any girl in their right mind would hate being in this position.”

“I didn’t say they were in the right mind. I just said they’d love to be you.”

“Shut up,” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “This is serious.”

She smiled and nodded, “Sure it is. Poor Jovie. She seduced her childhood dream.”

I blushed and covered my face. “Shut up, Annie. It’s not like that. Trust me, that was the last thing on my mind. Like, it was just Zac No Name, not Zac Hanson, Mmmbop extraordinaire.”

“Right,” she said sarcastically. “Then how did it happen?”

I bit my lip, and tried to remember the hazy details. I couldn’t quite put my finger on how it all started, but I could distinctly remember looking at him having the hotel room around him blur out of focus, and how perfect he looked standing in the middle of the room with a confused grin on his face. It was like I was staring at a picture of him with perfect lighting highlighting the curves of his face, and his lips that begged to be kissed. My stomach flipped now, just thinking about the rush I got just from having his fingertips graze over my skin, in a way that was no different than any other accidental touch, but at the same time incredibly different, and so much better. I hadn’t felt that excitement from a simple gesture in a long time, and to be honest I haven’t even felt that between Lex and I in years.

“So, are you going to tell me about it?” she asked, cutting into my thoughts and pulling me back into reality feeling the smile fade from my lips.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked at her, not knowing how long I zoned out. “I kissed him first, but I don’t know how we got from one kiss to ending up in bed.”

“Well, you’re going to have to try your best to remember. I’m living vicariously through you, you know. We don’t all get to get it on with rock stars.”

I laughed again, and took a sip of my shake, trying to figure out the time line of events. “Well, I kissed him, and I think he said something about just cause I was drunk didn’t mean I didn’t know what I was doing, and then he kissed me back. Then really, I don’t know if we skipped the foreplay or what, but next thing I knew he was above me…and then its history. I’ll have to tell you the details when we’re not in public.”

“Man, Jovie. I’m not gunna lie to you, I’m a little jealous.”

“You’ve never even mentioned being attracted to him,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, but I'm always one to appreciate sex appeal, and he’s got it,” she laughed.

I shrugged and agreed, feeling the tension lift from my shoulders. We continued talking until our shakes were gone, now that I wasn’t so nervous about accidentally slipping up. We finished off the rest of the French fries, and caught up on other things while time slowly passed.

“So, really, what are you gunna do?” she asked me, picking up the check glancing at it before pulling her wallet out of her purse.

“I don’t know. Zac is out of the question, but as far as Lex, I have no idea. I’m just gunna test the water, and if he messes up again, I swear we are done.”

“I thought you swore that if he ever cheated on you, you would be done.”

“Yeah, but that was before I fell into bed with his best friend.”

“Excuses, Jovie, excuses. Come on, give Zac a chance,” she said as she pulled out a few dollars and dropped them onto the table.

“Annie, that’s retarded. It will never work, and I’ve already moved on.”

“No you haven’t.”

“Oh really? I would think I’d know before you,” I said crossing my arms over my chest.

“That’s why you zoned out thinking about him, right?”

I glared at her, picking up my purse. “Are you ready to go?”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

I stood up, and waited for Annie to do the same thing . “You’re wrong.”

She shrugged as she stood up, and walked to the cash register and paid the bill, then held the door open for me, and smiled. “Sure I am.”