The Blessed Chain Letter

This amused me greatly ^^ I hate forwards so much that I have them all moved to a folder called 'Crap'...so, understandably, I hate chain letters ^^* If you haven't seen this before, you've gotta read it! P.S. I didn't write this ^^* someone else did!! Yaaaarf!

Hello, my name is none of your business. I am suffering from several rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being mauled by squirrels, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a potato growing out of her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? >How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here, If I scroll down this page make a wish, I'll meet the girl (or guy) of my dreams tomorrow. What a bunch of junk. So basically, this message is directed to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mailforwards. Maybe the evil letterleprechauns will come into my house and write "I'm a moron" on my forehead in permanent marker in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by a knight of the round table and was brought tothis country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest continuous streak of batant stupidity. If you're going to forward something, as least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. It's getting old. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually conributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS*:
Chain letter type #1:
(scroll down)
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Make a wish
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No, really go on and make one
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Oh please, they'll never go out with you
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Wish something else
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No, I'm sorry, we're out of ponies at the time being
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Have you forgotten why you're scrolling yet?
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STOP!
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Wasn't that fun? :) Hope you made a great wish :) Now, to make you feel guilty here's what I'll do: First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be kidnapped by ninja elves and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true, because, THIS letter isnt't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE Really!! Here's how it goes: *send this to 1 person: one person will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter. *send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter. *send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life. *send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will bomb your house. Thanks. Good luck

*Chain letter type #2:
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, & no parents. This little boy's life could be saved, because for evetytime you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of junk. So go on, reach out.
****send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. oh, and remember, if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 >people, you will die instantly. Thanks again.

*Chain letter type #3:
Hi there, this Chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad email addicts with nothing better to do. so this is how it works: 1. pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1*
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drain pipe in a flood of poop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died too. This Could Happen To You.
Bizarre Horror Story #2*
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was crushed by an anvil that was dropped out of an airplane that just happened to be flying directly above him. This Could Happen To You Too.
*~*Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

*Chain letter type #4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends
Blah, blah, blah
Friends
Blah, blah, blah
A friend is not someone who sends you
chain letters because he wants
his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on. If you dont, no one will like you for as long as you live. I mean it, as long as you live.

The point being?
*If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave youfriendless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. *If its funny, send it on. Dont annoy people by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only chance of living is the 5 cents per letter he'll recieve if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
*********Now Forward this to everyone you know othewise you'll find all your socks missing tomorrow morning.

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