Amber's QUESTIONNAIRE

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Name: Amber

Country: United States

State: TN

Age: 25

Describe your relationship with your parents (before you became pregnant): We didn't get along very well at the time. They didn't agree with how I lived my life (now I can see why).

Did your parents or school discuss sex or birth control with you before you became sexually active? My parents never even mentioned the word. In school I had sex-ed in 8th grade, high school was more a general health class.

If yes, how old were you? 14

Hobbies/Special Talents:(Outside of being a Mother)Hobby? What's that? I go to school full time.

Were you working when you became pregnant? What type of work? (business, retail, etc...) No

Do you work outside of the home now that you are a Mother? I stayed at home till my son was 14 months old, then I went to school. I have also has jobs at my university during the summer.

Were you still in school when you became pregnant? If yes, what grade? If no, please explain why. No, I became pregnant after I left high school

Are you in school now? (Please indicate year Middle, High, College) Yes, I'm a sophomore in college and pursuing a degree in Geography with a concentration in Geology.

If you've graduated, what is your degree? (High School Diploma, GED, Cert, AA, BA, BS, Masters)

How old were you during your first pregnancy? 21

Did you keep the child? Abort? Give up for adoption?: Yes, I kept my child.

Do you raise the child alone? If no, who helps? I have the help of my mother and grandmother.

Was it the first time you had sex? 14

Were you and the father a couple? Yes and No. Long story.

Are you still together? No

Did you marry the father as a result of the pregnancy? Thank God No!

If you're not together, is the father involved? How is he involved? (Visitation, Child Support) No and it's best that way. I hear he went to jail for having sex with an underage girl.(He was 26 at that time and I hear the girl was 14)

Were you using protection against pregnancy and STDs? If yes, what kind? No

Were you using the protection PROPERLY? (condoms, bc pill)

Did you know there is a WRONG way to put a condom on and that doing so can cause it to break!? Yes

If you were not using protection, please explain why? Because I was stupid.

Did you think, "It won't happen to me" or "I can't get pregnant"? I don't think i even thought of it.

If yes to last question, looking back, why do you think you believed that? My mind was so foggy, I was lucky I knew my own name.

Did you have any more children before your 21st birthday? My first son was born that year.

How many children do you have? 1

Was your first pregnancy emotionally difficult? Very difficult I had quit using drugs, moved away from all my friends,my grandfather died, and I lived with my mother who isn't the most stable person.

Were there any medical problems during your first pregnancy or delivery? I ended up in the hospital several times severely dehydrated and almost lost him early on because my blood was so acid from living off my muscle (I lost 40 lbs)

What was/is the most difficult experience as a young mother? As a young mother I think it is getting respect from others.

How did your family react to your pregnancy? Not very well to put it mildly.

Where did you live? (On your own, with your parents, with child's Father's parents) I lived on my own part of it and with my mother the rest of it.

Did your family help support you? The baby? Emotionally, financially, or both? Yes

Did the Father's family help support you? The baby? Emotionally, financially, or both? I don't think they even knew.

Did/do you need Public Assistance? (Financial Aid, Food Stamps, Medical) Yes

How did/does that make you feel? I hate it. I feel like a parasite. We did get financial assistance ($142/month)but were cut off that after 18 months. We still receive child care assistance,food stamps and Medicaid.

How long did you need Public Assistance? We have been on it for 2 1/2 years.

Were you able to keep a social life/relationships with your friends? For a while I had a life, now it's nonexistent i have maybe 3 friends and 2 of them live 900 miles away. I had a really good friend when I moved to school, but since her parent's bought her a house she thinks she's too good for me I guess.

Do you feel accepted by people your age? I feel accepted, but they still can't relate to me.

Do you find it difficult to have things in common with people your own age? Yes, Event though I'm 25 now most everyone my age is still out partying and having fun.

Do you feel accepted by Mothers that are older than you? Sometimes, If they're in my socioeconomic level. Lexus SUV driving soccer moms tend to irritate me.

Do you feel like you have it harder than people your own age without children? Yes sometimes. I miss the party life and the free time to do what I want, but I know that my education is going to be better because I'm not wasting it by partying too much.

Do you regret having your child so young? If yes, why? I wasn't that young, but I feel like I missed out on an important part of a social development. I'm glad I had him young though because I still have the energy to keep up.

What is the hardest thing to deal with being a young mother. Stress levels can be high sometimes with no help.

What are your personal goals? (goals for yourself as an individual NOT as a mother) I want to obtain a masters or Phd in Geology or Paleontology and travel when my child has grown. I want us to be happy and fulfill our dreams. As a mother I hope to give my son a happy home to grow up in and lots of love and encouragement.

Have your goals changed since you became a Mother? I guess I can't live the life of a gypsy anymore.

Do you feel that reaching your goals will be more difficult now that your a teen parent? Why? I wasn't a teen parent. I can say that school and children don't always go hand in hand :)

What would you tell a (school age) 10-18 year old girl that wanted to get pregnant at such a young age? I would tell them they are crazy and that if they wanted to find out what motherhood was really like I would let them take care of my child for a week and see what kind of responsibility it is.

How do you think being a Young Mother has changed you? It made me grow up quick. I think it has changed me for the better. I am not so impulsive and self centered as I used to be.

How do you think society looks upon teen pregnancy? I think most people look down upon teen pregnancy. They have their stereotype picture of a teenager on welfare with three kids, not of a self sufficient woman taking care of her business.

Why do you think there are so many teen parents? There are many reasons. I think kids have sex way before they are ready to accept the responsibility. I also think that parents are so busy working to buy their children's love that they forget to pay attention to them and so they go looking for love in negative ways.

List 5 Pro's to being a teen Mother? Besides the fact that your young enough to keep up I don't think there are any pros.

List 5 Con's to being a teen Mother?: Hard to keep up in school, Lose out on social life, Stress, lack of sleep when you need it most

What are the most important qualities a good Mother should have? A good mother should be understanding, kind, supportive, responsible, and full of love.

Any Other Comments You Wish To Make? I think being a mom is the greatest thing in the world. Even with all the stress children give, what they give to you is the greatest gift.

Today's Date: January 15

Name:	Amber
Country:	United States
State:	TN
Age:	25
Describe your relationship with your parents (before you became pregnant):	We didn't get along very well at the time. They didn't agree with how I lived my life (now I can see why).
Did your parents or school discuss sex or birth control with you before you became sexually active?	My parents never even mentioned the word. In school I had sex-ed in 8th grade, high school was more a general health class.
If yes, how old were you?	14
Hobbies/Special Talents:(Outside of being a Mother)Hobby? What's that? I go to school full time.
Were you working when you became pregnant? What type of work? (business, retail, etc...)	No
Do you work outside of the home now that you are a Mother?	I stayed at home till my son was 14 months old, then I went to school. I have also has jobs at my university during the summer.
Were you still in school when you became pregnant? If yes, what grade? If no, please explain why.	No, I became pregnant after I left high school
Are you in school now? (Please indicate year Middle, High, College)	Yes, I'm a sophomore in college and pursuing a degree in Geography with a concentration in Geology.
If you've graduated, what is your degree? (High School Diploma, GED, Cert, AA, BA, BS, Masters)
How old were you during your first pregnancy?	21
Did you keep the child? Abort? Give up for adoption?:	Yes, I kept my child.
Do you raise the child alone? If no, who helps?	I have the help of my mother and grandmother.
Was it the first time you had sex?	14
Were you and the father a couple?	Yes and No. Long story.
Are you still together?	No
Did you marry the father as a result of the pregnancy?	Thank God No!
If you're not together, is the father involved? How is he involved? (Visitation, Child Support)	No and it's best that way. I hear he went to jail for having sex with an underage girl.(He was 26 at that time and I hear the girl was 14)
Were you using protection against pregnancy and STDs? If yes, what kind?	No
Were you using the protection PROPERLY? (condoms, bc pill)
Did you know there is a WRONG way to put a condom on and that doing so can cause it to break!?	Yes
If you were not using protection, please explain why?	Because I was stupid.
Did you think, "It won't happen to me" or "I can't get pregnant"?	I don't think i even thought of it.
If yes to last question, looking back, why do you think you believed that?	My mind was so foggy, I was lucky I knew my own name.
Did you have any more children before your 21st birthday?	My first son was born that year.
How many children do you have?	1
Was your first pregnancy emotionally difficult?	Very difficult I had quit using drugs, moved away from all my friends,my grandfather died, and I lived with my mother who isn't the most stable person.
Were there any medical problems during your first pregnancy or delivery?	I ended up in the hospital several times severely dehydrated and almost lost him early on because my blood was so acid from living off my muscle (I lost 40 lbs)
What was/is the most difficult experience as a young mother?	As a young mother I think it is getting respect from others.
How did your family react to your pregnancy?	Not very well to put it mildly.
Where did you live? (On your own, with your parents, with child's Father's parents)	I lived on my own part of it and with my mother the rest of it.
Did your family help support you? The baby? Emotionally, financially, or both?	Yes
Did the Father's family help support you? The baby? Emotionally, financially, or both?	I don't think they even knew.
Did/do you need Public Assistance? (Financial Aid, Food Stamps, Medical)	Yes
How did/does that make you feel?	I hate it. I feel like a parasite. We did get financial assistance ($142/month)but were cut off that after 18 months. We still receive child care assistance,food stamps and Medicaid.
How long did you need Public Assistance?	We have been on it for 2 1/2 years.
Were you able to keep a social life/relationships with your friends?	For a while I had a life, now it's nonexistent i have maybe 3 friends and 2 of them live 900 miles away. I had a really good friend when I moved to school, but since her parent's bought her a house she thinks she's too good for me I guess.
Do you feel accepted by people your age?	I feel accepted, but they still can't relate to me.
Do you find it difficult to have things in common with people your own age?	Yes, Event though I'm 25 now most everyone my age is still out partying and having fun.
Do you feel accepted by Mothers that are older than you?	Sometimes, If they're in my socioeconomic level. Lexus SUV driving soccer moms tend to irritate me.
Do you feel like you have it harder than people your own age without children?	Yes sometimes. I miss the party life and the free time to do what I want, but I know that my education is going to be better because I'm not wasting it by partying too much.
Do you regret having your child so young? If yes, why?	I wasn't that young, but I feel like I missed out on an important part of a social development. I'm glad I had him young though because I still have the energy to keep up.
What is the hardest thing to deal with being a young mother.	Stress levels can be high sometimes with no help.
What are your personal goals? (goals for yourself as an individual NOT as a mother)	I want to obtain a masters or Phd in Geology or Paleontology and travel when my child has grown. I want us to be happy and fulfill our dreams. As a mother I hope to give my son a happy home to grow up in and lots of love and encouragement.
Have your goals changed since you became a Mother?	I guess I can't live the life of a gypsy anymore.
Do you feel that reaching your goals will be more difficult now that your a teen parent? Why?	I wasn't a teen parent. I can say that school and children don't always go hand in hand :)
What would you tell a (school age) 10-18 year old girl that wanted to get pregnant at such a young age?	I would tell them they are crazy and that if they wanted to find out what motherhood was really like I would let them take care of my child for a week and see what kind of responsibility it is.
How do you think being a Young Mother has changed you?	It made me grow up quick. I think it has changed me for the better. I am not so impulsive and self centered as I used to be.
How do you think society looks upon teen pregnancy?	I think most people look down upon teen pregnancy. They have their stereotype picture of a teenager on welfare with three kids, not of a self sufficient woman taking care of her business.
Why do you think there are so many teen parents?	There are many reasons. I think kids have sex way before they are ready to accept the responsibility. I also think that parents are so busy working to buy their children's love that they forget to pay attention to them and so they go looking for love in negative ways.
List 5 Pro's to being a teen Mother?	Besides the fact that your young enough to keep up I don't think there are any pros.
List 5 Con's to being a teen Mother?:	Hard to keep up in school, Lose out on social life, Stress, lack of sleep when you need it most
What are the most important qualities a good Mother should have?	A good mother should be understanding, kind, supportive, responsible, and full of love.
Any Other Comments You Wish To Make?	I think being a mom is the greatest thing in the world. Even with all the stress children give, what they give to you is the greatest gift.
Today's Date:	January 15