| Name: | Danielle |
| Country: | US |
| State: | FL |
| Age: | 18 |
| Special Talents: | balancing a checkbook, while talking on the phone, changing a diaper, making a bottle and kissing an "owie" |
| Hobbies: | learning new ways enrich my children's lives |
| Where do you work? | At a very high-tech Reasearch facility in childcare development and domestic advancement (otherwise known as AT HOME) |
| Were you working when you became pregnant? If yes, doing what? | I was in school when i became pregnant, but i got a job soon after i found out |
| Are you in school? | I take internet classes through the community college |
| If you've graduated, what is your degree? | No degree yet, hopefully eventually i will get a Masters in Teaching |
| How old were you when you had your first child? | 16 |
| Did you keep? abort? give up for adoption?: | I happily kept my first little angel |
| Was it the first time you had sex? | yes |
| Were you and the father a couple? | yes but we hadn't been for very long |
| Are you still together? | YUP!! Nov. 21 is our one year wedding anniversary |
| If you're not together, is the father involved? How is he involved? | N/A |
| Were you using protection against pregnancy? If yes, what kind? | No, unfortunatly, being the "goody-goody" that i was, something like that didn't even occur to me |
| If not, was it because you were trying to get pregnant? Please explain: | Definatly NOT |
| Did you know how you would support the baby? Support yourself? | Well, i was very calm when i found out, like it was meant to be. I knew i would move out on my own and get a job, and i did, my husband didn't move in until a few months later (my 9th month of pregnancy) |
| Were you using protection against STDs? | No, again, i wasn't even thinking |
| How many children do you have? | 2 |
| What are their names, ages, birthdays? | Cheyenne Michelle Marie-2 June 27, 1997 and Chylah Marie Michelle-1 October 13, 1998 |
| Was the pregnancy emotionally difficult? | No, not really. I think it really kept me positive about life |
| Was the pregnancy physically difficult? i.e. were there any medical problems? | Yes, i gained 78pds, even though i was on a strict no sugar (gestational diabetes) and no salt (toxemia) diet, although my second was pretty easy, no health problems at all |
| What was/is the most difficult experience as a young mother? | I think it would have to be the stereotypes. I am very lucky in my life that my husband supported me and we can afford our own house, cars etc.. although money is tight, so i don't have much to complain about, but people assume since i am young that i go out everynight, and am on welfare, and live at home. |
| Was your family helpful/supportive? | Yes, very much so, although many assumed i got pregnant on purpose because of my parents being dead, unfortunatly not true, i got pregnant because i was stupid!! |
| Did you stay at home with your parents? | Nope, my dad died in '95 and my mom died right a week before i got pregnant in '96, and i was basically on my own anyways. My grandma did co-sign for me a place to live. |
| Did your family help support you? The baby? Emotionally, financially, or both? | Emotionally- yes, my grandma didn't freak out, or blow up at me, she was very calm, and when she sent me to live on my own, it really helped to prepare me for real life. and financially- some... she bought some baby clothes, and helped me fix up my house |
| Do they support you now? Emotionally, financially, or both? | Emotionally- no, they says it was my choice, so deal with it (and it WAS!! so it doesnt bother me) Financially- sometimes they will bring buy some groceries, and she buys the usual candy, cookies and grandma stuff but she didn't buy as much for my second child as she did my first, noone did :( |
| Did/do you need public assistance? How did/does that make you feel? | when i was pregnant i recieved medicaid, and it was AWFUL, it took my MONTHS to get it the second time i was pregnant, because i worked part-time making about $200 every two weeks, i guess that was too much for them, they told me i made too much, so i quit, and then FinALLY could recieve partial help, some Welfare to WORK program..... |
| Was the father's family involved with the pregnancy? Emotionally, financially, or both? | HAHAHAHAHA.. thats a JOKE. They are still supporting his EX who lives with them, smokes pot with them, and leaves her two children with them to babysit while she takes her welfare money and goes out everynight. They didn't even visit me in the hospital. They did give them a christmas present if that counts...... |
| Did the father's family help support you? Emotionally, financially, or both? | NOPE, not one little single bit. Although at the beginning of my first pregnancy i spent alot of time there, they did help me out some emotionally |
| Does the child have a relationship with the paternal Grandparents? | A very small one. I didn't bring them over for a long time, because the lit up a joint near my daughter. I do bring them over there occasionally now, so they don't really know them, but as they get older, they are starting to let there grandma pick them up or give them a hug |
| Do you feel accepted by people your age? | Hmm.. i don't know.. I think i don't really CARE either, my life is centered around my family. |
| Do you feel like you have it harder than people your own age without children? | OH YES!! It is getting SO hard to relate to some of my friends "problems" they seem very immature to me. I know it is not their faults, they are just at a different stage in their lives than mine, but it is REALLY hard to relate to drinking and parties and dorm mold, when your life is centered around diapers, PB&J and Goodnight Moon. |
| Are you happy with the decisions you have made? (Be honest. . .it's ok to feel bad, we all do sometimes) | YES... ABSOLUTLY. I know it would be hard for you to believe, but i don;t know WHERE my life would be right now, if i hadn't gotten pregnant. I think everything happens for a reason. Sometimes i get a little wistful when i think of the GPA i had, and the colleges i would've gone to, but i don't regret a thing! |
| What are your personal goals? (goals for yourself as an individual not as a mother) | I don't have any personal goals, other than those of a mother. Right now my life is centered around being the best mother and best wife i can be. Eventually i would like to get a teaching degree, but right now i want to be a milk and cookies, homeade bread and PTA kind of mom |
| Have your goals changed since you became a parent? | YES... my goals before were to go to an out of state college (preferably Harvard or MIT).... and that was about it.. i was going to be SOMETHING.. a lawyer, a dancer, a computer graphics artist... i didn't really know |
| Do you feel that reaching your goals will be more difficult now that your a teen parent? | My goals have adapted to being a PARENT in general. I want to be a teacher now, instead of a high career professional, and i want my life to revolve around my family, not my family around my life. |
| What would you tell a (school age) 12-18 year old girl that wanted to get pregnant? | WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. Sit down, close your legs, and open your mind! Someone that young who WANTED to get pregnant obviously has some other issues to work out. You should wait until you are SURe of your MARRIAGE (not just relationship) because a marriage takes work too, and it is hard to work at being a mother and a wife. You need money, a house, a husband, a car, and a very stable lifestyle to support a baby. |
| How do you think being a Young Mother has changed you? | It has made me a better person. It has opened me up to responsibility and love |
| How do you think society looks upon teen pregnancy? | I think people look down upon it because society as a whole, can only see the bad. Rarely, on the news, do you see a group of loving teen mothers taking their babies to a park, but more like the ONE teen mother that threw her baby in the trash at that park. Teen parenthood shouldn't be encourage, but it should not be shown as ALL bad either. |
| Why do you think there are so many teen parents? | I really can't say, I don't know. I know in my case it was just stupidity, i was told and told and told, but as an act of rebellion, it happened. I would say open communication might help |
| List 5 Pro's to being a teen Mother? | to being a TEEN mother.. is really hard to say.. i can list 5 to being a MOTHER in general.. little fingers wrapped around your thumb... soft coo's just for you... the first smile reserved especially for mommy.... the first wet kiss.. and the very first "i luv yuu moommy" |
| List 5 Con's to being a teen Mother?: | Harder to get nessacities.. (jobs, car, houses..etc) without help .... medical professionals looking down on you ... people assuming your a bad mother JUST based on your age..... people asking "do you know who the daddy is?" or "do they have the same father"..... assuming that you can't HANDLE a child |
| What do you expect to get out of being a member of Young Mothers?: | Hopefully to help someone else, and maybe make a few friends with children, so we would have something in common |
| Today's Date: | 11-6-99 |