| Name: | Julie |
| Country: | USA |
| State: | Michigan |
| Age: | 20 |
| Describe your relationship with your parents (before you became pregnant): | I really didn't have any relationship with my parents. We just lived together, and occasionally saw each other in passing |
| Did your parents or school discuss sex or birth control with you before you became sexually active? | NO! My parents never discussed anything with me. I did have sex ed in school. Obviously, it didn't work for me! |
| If yes, how old were you? | 13 |
| Hobbies/Special Talents:(Outside of being a Mother) | reading, writing, surfing the net, walking, jogging, hiking, gardening, etc. |
| Were you working when you became pregnant? What type of work? (business, retail, etc...) | Yes. I was working for my parents at their hardware store. |
| Do you work outside of the home now that you are a Mother? | Yes. I work at the college I attend, in the College Life Dept. |
| Were you still in school when you became pregnant? If yes, what grade? If no, please explain why. | Yes. I was in 10th grade. |
| Are you in school now? (Please indicate year Middle, High, College) | Yes! I'm currently a sophmore. I am planning on becoming a Paralegal. |
| If you've graduated, what is your degree? (High School Diploma, GED, Cert, AA, BA, BS, Masters) | HS Diploma...working towards my BA! |
| How old were you during your first pregnancy? | 16 |
| Did you keep the child? Abort? Give up for adoption?: | I kept my daughter. |
| Do you raise the child alone? If no, who helps? | I did, up until about 2 years ago. Now, my husband helps. |
| Was it the first time you had sex? | Yes. |
| Were you and the father a couple? | Sorta |
| Are you still together? | NO WAY! |
| Did you marry the father as a result of the pregnancy? | NOOO! |
| If you're not together, is the father involved? How is he involved? (Visitation, Child Support) | He isn't involved AT ALL. We are currently in the process of having my husband adopt her. |
| Were you using protection against pregnancy and STDs? If yes, what kind? | No. |
| Were you using the protection PROPERLY? (condoms, bc pill) | |
| Did you know there is a WRONG way to put a condom on and that doing so can cause it to break!? | Yes. |
| If you were not using protection, please explain why? | Stupidity? I honestly don't know! It's definatly a question that haunts me. |
| Did you think, "It won't happen to me" or "I can't get pregnant"? | I didn't think that until AFTER the fact! |
| If yes to last question, looking back, why do you think you believed that? | Denial |
| Did you have any more children before your 21st birthday? | Nope! And with only a couple of months left until then...don't think it will be happening! |
| How many children do you have? | 1 |
| Was your first pregnancy emotionally difficult? | Very much so. |
| Were there any medical problems during your first pregnancy or delivery? | Just a few! I had chronic morning sickness until I was 6 months along.(I lost nearly 40lbs) Then I developed preclampsia,which forced me to deliever @ 33wks. I also had to deliever by emergency C-section due to an allergic reaction to my spinal. I then spent 3 days comatose. I didn't get to see my little girl until she was 3 days old! |
| What was/is the most difficult experience as a young mother? | Everyone thinking that I was going to be just another "nothing". |
| How did your family react to your pregnancy? | My mom exploded. My dad never spoke a word to me until after I had my daughter. My dad's side of the family all but shunned me. My mom's side was VERY supportive. |
| Where did you live? (On your own, with your parents, with child's Father's parents) | I lived with my parents until I graduated from HS. |
| Did your family help support you? The baby? Emotionally, financially, or both? | My family helped us financially,but that was about it. |
| Did the Father's family help support you? The baby? Emotionally, financially, or both? | No |
| Did/do you need Public Assistance? (Financial Aid, Food Stamps, Medical) | Yes |
| How did/does that make you feel? | I felt like the scum of the Earth, but I wouldn't give anyone the priveledge of knowing it. I held my head high because I knew it was the only way I would make it. |
| How long did you need Public Assistance? | About 3 yrs |
| Were you able to keep a social life/relationships with your friends? | Not really. I found out who my TRUE friends were though. |
| Do you feel accepted by people your age? | Not really. I feel like I'm 30, going on 31. Not 20, going on 21! |
| Do you find it difficult to have things in common with people your own age? | Very much so! I look at people my age and think to myself "Grow Up!" |
| Do you feel accepted by Mothers that are older than you? | Some. I have a few friends (that are mothers of course!) that have kind of taken me under their wing. But I have also run into many older mothers who think I'm a horrible mother because of my age. |
| Do you feel like you have it harder than people your own age without children? | Sometimes. I think it's just as hard one way or another. |
| Do you regret having your child so young? If yes, why? | Sometimes. I know that I could've given her better if I had waited. |
| What is the hardest thing to deal with being a young mother. | The stero-types, people treating you like you're dumb, people thinking you'll never amount to anything. Lots of other things! |
| What are your personal goals? (goals for yourself as an individual NOT as a mother) | To finish college, and eventually work in the government. |
| Have your goals changed since you became a Mother? | My goals have changed a TON! |
| Do you feel that reaching your goals will be more difficult now that your a teen parent? Why? | I used to think so, but now I look at it as a challenge. There is NOTHING that will stand in the way of my goals. |
| What would you tell a (school age) 10-18 year old girl that wanted to get pregnant at such a young age? | I would first ask her what she wants to do with her life,besides having kids and getting married and that garbage. Then when she gave me her answer, I would tell her she better do it now bc going to college/traveling/adventuring/experiencing life is not the same with a child in tow. |
| How do you think being a Young Mother has changed you? | It has definatly made me a stronger person. It also gave me a reason to accomplish my goals. |
| How do you think society looks upon teen pregnancy? | Not very graciously! Teen pregnancy/parents are looked at as life-long welfare cases. |
| Why do you think there are so many teen parents? | A combination of many things. I personally think it has to do with kids "growing up" too quickly. |
| List 5 Pro's to being a teen Mother? | There are none! |
| List 5 Con's to being a teen Mother?: | You lose family/friends, You don't get to just go out and "have fun", People say bad things to you AND about you, It's hard to live a "normal" life, you lose the real you. |
| What are the most important qualities a good Mother should have? | Financial freedom, support, a sound mind, loving, caring, compasionate,etc. |
| Any Other Comments You Wish To Make? | Think about it!! Don't just be, live! |
| Today's Date: | Jan. 16 2003 |