OOOOh hippified background

The meaning of War by Corpral Jase Carter and captain Matt Thorley

To me war is a lot like maths. It is really hard to participate in and yet it will have no bearing on your future what so ever. Come on who's going to use iteration in their future life as a trolley pusher at Tesco? Despite war having no importance to me I am partaking in the mass battle due to pressure from high rank soldiers and due to the fun it involves, although this war may cause the death of millions, maybe including myself it's not every day I get to battle with such a hardy warrior as Corporal Jason "Fingers Malone" Carter. Now I have recieved my weapons of mass destruction (from Argos) I hope i will show the world what I am made of and help myself achieve world fame as I model myself on the infamous Aragorn(even though i'm better cause i have less leg hair so i am more "slipstream") and I hope to encourage a new wave of young water armies, who will eventually kill me and steal my crown, my fame and my underwear.

Thats one excited bastard.

There is only one important thing in war.  Death to the oppostion, and there will be alot of dead people on Saturday.  All of them my oppostion.  The trick to a good, accurate shot is down to breathing.  Thats what i got taught on my SBS traing. (Special Boat Service, much better than the SAS)  You have to slowly press the trigger whilst exhaling, that way there is less pressure on the chest making the shot more accurate.  Simple.  Apart from killing the opposition it is important that they are exterminated in style.  the best method s to shoot them in the leg.  you daft sods will then try and save their injured friend.  So you shoot them as well.  then, when all of them are in a group slauaghter them.  Like kicking pigeons in Trafalgar square. But go carefull, theyt attack in thousands.  Best escape is to run screaming for your mummy.      I strongly wish the oppostion the best of luck, although to survive me and Captain Thorely they will need a miracle.  If they get in my way i will use my hands to swat them like flies.  Which i threatened Tom with.  So he chickened out.